Do I continue to be married with a man who cares nothing about his health or his life?

Question

He is in the hospital for the 5th time from chronic pancreatitis resulting from years of heavy drinking. He finally quit drinking after a 21 day stay in the hospital. Afterward his attitude has been negative and can't seem to find anything else to do with his spare time. He now eats like there's no tomorrow and as a result is in the hospital for the same condition. Our marriage was about to end when he got seriously sick last year and since then, I am exhausted caring for my 3 children and going to college. He works with his stepmom and doesn't worry about anything. I am furious and want out and his family seems to think I need to take better care of him. I feel sorry for him but feel so because of the children. Personally I feel he is dragging our life down with his.

Answer 1

I'm assuming you married him for better or for worse. Try and be an encouragement and see what you can do for him not what he can do for you. These days not many people are in it for the long haul but you have kids and if you get through this as a couple you might find you have a stronger relationship on the other side. If he has stopped drinking he has made some pretty big progress. These kind of issues take time and he needs support from his family.

Answer 2

I am living with a man who also has been in the Hospital twice in the last year with acute pancreatitis resulting from drinking. In your case I say run and run fast and don't look back .. If he cares so little for himself and you and the kids then you are beating a dead dog. In my case .. My guy has a grade 3/4 brain tumor and the only thing that seems to stop the seizures is the beer. the doctors say he only has a few months to live so as far as im concern .. One or the other is going to kill him .. either way hes a dead man. We have no kids to worry about so I say If it makes him feel better then go for it.. Other wise Id kick him to the curb and Id be gone so fast his head would spin.

Answer 3

It sounds lke you are ready to leave and that might be the best thing. If you aren't, you could try to talk him into getting trearment for depression. He sounds possibly bipolar, which is relatively easy to fix if he will take lithium, or regular depression which would require something like prozac and some counseling. If he is not willing to seek help to make changes, then close the door and find a new life and good luck to you

Answer 4

i am sorry to hear about your mans problems. i think that at this point, you really need to focus on yourself and your children. i know that sounds selfish but honestly, you need to take care of yourself 1st and foremost. you can only do so much for someone and as i am sure you know, it's up to them to do something serious about it. there is no reason, unless you honestly think that you can save your marriage, why you cant file for divorce. if that is what will make you happy. however, approach it with some sensitivity. make sure that you arent harsh but straightforwarded. because, you never know what can happen. best of luck.

Answer 5

Very well query. I am regularly surprised what number of Americans appear to not be conscious approximately the disorders with healthcare depending on FOX and different resources to unfold incorrect information approximately the healthcare procedure of the USA and the ones overseas. First of all, Obama desires to make coverage extra to be had to all and difference the procedure in order that it's less expensive [a million]. He additionally desires difference in order that the coverage businesses uncover it more difficult to get out of buying healing. The procedure he's featuring appears very similar to that which matches in Holland and Switzerland wherein individual businesses are worried in supplying coverage [two]. Second, of path common wellbeing-quilt sucks. That is why we in Western Europe have it. We suppose, hmm, our healthcare procedure sucks. I understand, shall we maintain it. I wager that's the identical with Japan and Canada as good. Third, Obama campaigned on reforming the healthcare procedure. He stated he desired to make coverage extra to be had and he used to be elected via the American persons to try this [three]. FACT - the US has larger loss of life premiums for youngsters each for youngsters elderly beneath one and the ones beneath 5 than western European nations with common wellbeing protection [four,five]. FACT – American coverage businesses push up charges and paintings to quit paying out claims on the ones they quilt [6]. FACT - the USA spends extra on healthcare PER PERSON than another country in the world [7]. That signifies that a lifeless American 4 12 months historical might have had a greater risk of lifestyles in the event that they had been born in Canada, France, Cuba, Germany, Japan and so on, all of that have common wellbeing protection. Last of all if you don't just like the insurance policies that Obama used to be elected to carry in, he can regularly be voted out of workplace in 2012.

Answer 6

Sit down with him talk to him honestly let him know what you want out of the marriage and let him tell you what he wants. Work on the marriage if it is all possible

Answer 7

Yes. He is dragging all of you down with him. He is committing slow suicide. If he refuses to get help and change his behavior, you must do what is best for you and your children. Get out now and don't look back. You have done as much as you could.

Answer 8

get his attention do you still have the spark in your relationship put something sexy on making him yours agian after a while talk to him gettin him to think about your family future don't let something put you down when you can fix it without divorce . have some fun again then fix the problem

Answer 9

he sounds like he is in seriously bad condition...i would suggest you make sure he eats a huge meal, drink lots of wine, then you come back into the room with a couple of your friends wearing only thongs and start doing a really sexy dance in front of him...when he falls over holding his chest, just wait for a while before calling the paramedics!

have fun with the insurance check!

Answer 10

You should leave. I don't think food causes relapse of pancreatitus, I'd bet he was still drinking. If he isn't actively working on changing or recovery then things will never change, unless you do.