I own a store and one of the poeple I get my products from has become interested in me, he knows I am married since I made it very clear.I had no intention of having anything to do with him and now I find myself very attracted to him sexually. I even let him steal a kiss!WHAT SHOULD I DO, I have been married for 12yrs and have 4 kids. Please help! Serious answers only!
2006-10-26 11:50:05 · 30 answers · asked by Tammy R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, it is perfectly normal to be attracted to other people, especially after one has been married a while. What you need to do is remind yourself of why you married your husband and that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. You also need to let the vendor know that the kiss was a mistake, and that it cant happen again. You dont want to throw away a good marriage and hurt everybody involved( especially yourself or your kids) Also I would not tell my husband about the kiss as it would only serve to hurt him. YOu could also call the vendors boss and get a new delivery guy, or find another distributor completly
2006-10-26 19:21:49 · answer #1 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can sympathize. There is a guy at work. Hes' adorable and if I were not married I would probably be very interested in dating him (or just f*%$^&g him) I had ONE dream of sleeping with him. I have maybe said 3 words to him each time I see him. Then I always bashfully look away. I also know that this one particular guy has asked about me (when I first started working at this place) He was informed that I was married. THIS really flattered me. BUT...I could never act on it. I try to avoid him at all costs...and I f I were you I would do the same. We are human and our lust and attractions don't stop just because we have a ring on the finger...thats just ridiculous to believe. So, where you feel too tempted to act on these normal feelings...I think you should have a looong discussion with yourself and where these actions might land you. I'm sure you won't like the answer. Masturbate to him if it gets the sexual tension released. And I hate to admit it, but I have had sex with my husband with someone else in mind. Its in our nature. Nothing wrong with it unless we act on it and hurt the ones we love.
2006-10-26 20:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by armywife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont beat yourself up for being attracted to other people, after all its human nature. There are three things you can do...first is to ignore and suppress it (good luck, its a hard thing to do). Second would be to look at the situation and discover why you are attracted to him and it will tell you what you are missing in your marriage, then work on getting back what is missing. Or third is to move forward with a sexual relationship with the man, but beware, while it may be physically gratifying at first, sooner or later you will discover a non committed relationship will leave you feeling empty and used. Ive lived it and found the best thing to do is to ignore the physical relationship with the man, but enjoy the feelings that have awoken in you since it has been there all along but has been dormant since you have had your kids.
2006-10-26 19:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by Fantasy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't act on it. You are probably finding yourself attracted to this man now because he has let you know that he finds you attractive. Which really is very flattering and its always nice to know that people still find you attractive.
What you have to remember is that you are married, (happily I hope) and this man has expressed interest so what you need to do is have another employee deal with him when he comes into the store. If thats not possible tell him that while you find it flattering that he finds you attractive that you are not interested in him that way and that you have a husband and family that you love very much.
If he doesn't respect that, then its time for you to find someone else to do business with.
2006-10-26 19:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by Bettie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What terrible things has your family done to deserve this betrayal? You're obviously looking for someone's approval, but I can't give you that. But I'm sure if you look hard enough you will find a way to justify your actions. That's what people do when they're doing something wrong.......On the brighter side, maybe the dude you're cheating with will give you a "pull your panties down" discount on whatever it is he's supplying you with. How many stops does he make a day anyway?....You're probably the only extramarital affair he's involved with on the route, sounds like a good decision on your part. It looks like your husband is about to be a risk for an STD or worse, bless all the cheaters
2006-10-26 19:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As exciting as an illicit relationship is at the moment, the best way to stop yourself from continuing with it is to ask yourself where is it really going to take you. Once your husband finds out, and he definitely will eventually, the marriage is over. Now you're a single mom with shared custody or paying child support and your kids have divorced parents and a mother they can't trust or look to as a positive example. Just remember that everything new eventually becomes old. This exciting guy will eventually become annoying and you will resent him when you realize you threw a good life and marriage away over him. And he's obviously not a person you can trust if he knows your married and wants to pursue you anyway. "if they'll do it to someone else, they'll eventually do it to you"
2006-10-26 18:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by Stevie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Temptation, temptation. Doesn't it suck! I'm kinda in the same boat, just not married, and no kids, however 7 year relationship. I have the HOTS for my best friends roomate, and everytime I go over there all I picture is taking him into the bedroom.....ANYWAY don't give into it. It's human nature, and especially if you've been married that long, you must have something good to keep you around! I don't think you would wanna throw that all away, would you? So my advise, is to keep your thoughts in your head (which are perfectly NORMAL) and DON'T ACT ON IT! Just tell him the kiss was innocent, and you don't want to do anything that's not. How's that? Hope I helped. Good Luck!
2006-10-26 18:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by StonerChick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you already kissed the guy, it's too late to not get involved. But, it's not too late to cut out the silliness, before you destroy your life. Either get another supplier, or make DARN sure you behave strictly as a customer. No chats, no kisses, no joking around. NOTHING. You can't be a faithful wife, and play sexual games with another guy. Only you can decide what you want. Please choose wisely. Even IF you decide you don't want to be married, that particular guy is scum, because he chases married women. No matter what- forget the jerk.
2006-10-26 19:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to have those thoughts, the key is to NOT make a move on those thoughts unless you want to destroy your family.
Only make a move if you are willing to give up everything in your current life style and start all over (if you ask me that is very selfish).
If you have to think of this "other guy" and pleasure yourself. It'll help you get over the reality very quickly. Then you will realize that it wasn't worth it and you will be glad that you didn't take it further. And you can get back to your regular life with out hurting your family.
2006-10-26 18:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋