What do I do to avoid my jealousy? How do I deal with it?

Question

I always seem happy about who I am and what I've accomplished in school and all. But everytime, I see someone else who has done just a little bit more and did just a little bit better in school and I ask myself why I didn't get the grades they did or do the things that they did.
I just begin to second guess myself about if I'm good enough today.
I'll give you an example: I go to college at UMD. I have a decent GPA at about the 3.3-3.4 range, but I just feel a little jealous when I see someone with a higher GPA or they've done more academically than I have. I'm not upset at my GPA, I've worked very hard to get it, but I feel jealous that others did better than me.

I'm a person of good character and I don't this jealousy to eat me up inside. I want to be able to accept others accomplishments and not make it to be my enemy.
P.S. I did ask this question before, but I would like more viewpoints

Answer 1

You remind me of myself, my friends, and even some of my family members. First, what you are feeling is a positive thing. You are self-evaluating and wanting to do better. This means that you have a drive for success. Some people don't have this drive and just accept their grades and others don't even go to school because they just don't have that drive or other various reasons.
Secondly, I don't think you are jealous. I think you really want to do well. This is a great quality to have and embrace it. Also, you are doing so well already. You have a great GPA and you need to give yourself credit. There are a lot of other students that would love to have your grades and feel the same way you do.
These people above you don't have to be your friend or enemy. I attend the University of San Francisco and I think of most of my classmates as competetors. We all get along, but at the end of the day, we're all trying to get the best grade and it doesn't always feel well if you don't do the best, but this drive will keep you going through school.
Also, a grade isn't always an indication of what you know. Some people get good grades and didn't learn much from the class. Others cheat and some people do really well on tests, but don't know anything about how to survive in the real world. Sometimes when I get upset about someone scoring higher than me, I tell myself that I learned a lot in the class and I might even know more than them. Other times I tell myself that I have a lot of knowledge in the application of my education and more independence than some of my peers. This usually makes me feel better.
Nevertheless, be proud of your drive, but don't let it get the best of you. It shouldn't wreck your day or make you hate anyone. You need to realize that a grade isn't everything so try and realize all of the other forms of success you have in your life.

Answer 2

There is a huge difference between jealousy and wanting to be better. I don't think what you are feeling is jealousy. I truly believe it is something that we all get once in a while, and that is the best we can do and be. When we someone Else doing better then we beat yourself up and have a hard time congratulating the person who did better. I can't sit here and tell you how to beat the situation, But I can tell you be happy and proud of who you are and what you accomplish because a 3.3 or 3.4 is nothing to be depressed about. Focus on you and not everyone else, after time when you stop putting yourself on a shelf and comparing yourself to others you Will realize that you can accomplish anything and you never know your GPA might go up a result of it.

Keep your chin up and stay true yourself, after all you have to take care of #1 and that is yourself.

Answer 3

First of all if you have done your best, whatever that might be, you should feel very good about yourself and your accomplishments. Realize that there will always be someone that has done more, made better grades, is more handsome, makes more money, has a better job.....etc. Instead of being disappointed because someone has more or has done better than you, try to be genuinely happy for the other persons accomplishments and offer sincere congratulations. You'll feel better if you learn to do this.

Answer 4

Please don't ever apologize for asking questions. Those, who know everything, have only one point of view. Did you do your best; well, did you? If you can answer yes to that, then you must learn to accept that that is GOOD ENOUGH. You have heard the adage, "There will always be those who are better and those who are worse than ourselves": Fact of life stuff.
If there is anything worth modeling, it is success. But, success is RELATIVE TO YOU. Don't blame yourself or circumstance and become frustrated. You will never know how many times someone has gone to bat, only to foul. Successful people build upon failed attempts to seek the achievable. You are stressing and that saps energy. Relax or try to. Keep on. Don't second guess and devalue yourself and your accomplishments.

Answer 5

U appear like a exceptional individual alhumdulilah. First permit me begin off by means of announcing, jelousy is essentially the most disgusting, evil, satanic emotion u could have. U recognize why? Bc jelousy is a trick from shaytan. He's tricking u into short of a few worldly fabric. If u broaden your imaan, you'll be able to see that not anything on this international will topic when we r lifeless besides our well deeds. This considering is what received me out of my depressed state. Just consider approximately it, your by myself, within the grave, your mother and father nor your husband their to aid u. All the ones difficult lengthy hours spent learning seeking to grow to be that general practitioner, your Phd, all that schooling u received, long gone, similar to that. Now wherein's all that stuff? Where r your well deeds? If u real comprehend this, you'll be able to not ever be jelous of any one for some thing like this. The simplest pol that I'm jelous of r ppl who r extra pious than me, ppl who r higher Muslims than me. I desire to emulate the ones ppl. You're a intelligent woman only for considering the best way u did, no longer throwing away a hazard for an schooling only for a few guy. A tremendous majority of ppl at present do the reverse! They throw away their schooling and futures simply bc they "fell in love". You're a intelligent individual, no u are not looking for a clinical measure to inform u that. Still, if u particularly desire to do that then he are not able to avert u bc it's our Islamic proper to get an schooling. Tell him u will avert men up to viable if u went to tuition. Why no longer move to a tuition wherein either one of u will are living in combination? So particularly, do not be jelous and ask him once more. Edit: Well it relies, what kinda activity u desire? Islamically I could wager it is higher to get an schooling. Muslims r influenced to marry their children younger so after they move to tuition, they may not be distracted watching at men/women bc they could have already been married. I say u supply him an ultimatum, permit u move or u may not marry him. In the tip u ought to make a decision what u desire extra, a husband or an schooling.

Answer 6

You can't measure your success next to someone elses, b/c we all have different things going on in our life. If anything be happy for that person, bless them and focus on what you're capable of doing and learn from other people's mistakes. On the other hand there will always be someone smarter, bigger, or wiser. You just hav to do the best you can with the cards that has been dealt to you. And if you were to switch lives with someone else they probably would be doing just as worst and you could do just as good as they are doing in their own life. Pray to God and ask Him to help you with jealousy, and being envious of others. Let Him know you want to change and with His help and you being willing you will begin to change as you place your issues at His feet.

Answer 7

You need to work out in yourself why you feel this, why you feel that you have to prove to yourself that you are worthy. I think it is glad that you are working through this. I lost a friend because even though she did better than me in many things, she was jealous that I did one thing better, and it ruined our friendship, because she could never be happy when I did well.

Answer 8

it's totally normal, but it doesn't sound like jealousy to me either. it doens't really sound like determination either, however, it sounds more like low self-esteem, despite your repititions about being happy with who you are. maybe you should talk to a counselor if it's really serious, but honestly it could be something as simple as reflecting on whether or not your life would ACTUALLY be better if you got a 3.5 instead of a 3.4...good luck! i hope it works out for you

Answer 9

don't sound like jealousy, sounds more like drive. Don't worry about it, it's excellent to not be satisfied with what you've done. Always strive for improvement.

Answer 10

I dont think it's jealousy, I thinks it's your determination...You sound like you have a lot of determination.