Im 15, I often think of 8-13 year olds sexually. On a side note I also find woman much older than me in a sexual manner. Such as 20-49, I like 40-49 especially. I personally think these thoughts are from influence. My dad is in jail for having sex with a preteen. I saw that happen at 8. Will it pass? Or am I forced to think like my father?
2006-10-26 11:19:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
it's probably nothing too serious... if you were like 50 and thinking of 8-13 year olds sexually then there'd be a problem. you're only at the most 7 years older than these objects of your fantasy... as long as the people you fantasize about keep getting older as you do, then you'll be fine. For example if you're 20 and still think about 8 year olds, then there's a sign of a problem. On the other hand, if you're 25 and they're 20, there's not that much of a difference any more is there? Until then, don't worry about it.
2006-10-26 18:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Golden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I am so sorry you must be away from your father. No matter how you feel about it, it is difficult...and confusing. Second, you cannot inherit your dad's problem. It is good that you are wondering about normalcy and brave enough to ask the difficult questions. That's a good start.
It would be great if you had someone responsible to confide in; a counselor would be best of all. You have some very confusing pictures of what happened stored in your memory. As a child, you didn't probably have the language to express what you witnessed.
Would you please consider asking the adults who are responsible for you to make an appointment for you to see a counselor? You don't have to tell them why. What you discuss with the counselor is confidential. You have reason enough to go to counseling because your dad is in prison. I know, because my dad was in prison most of my life.
Many kids with an incarcerated parent qualify for medical help that includes counseling, so it may not cost your family anything but some time to take you to appointments. Please consider asking for that. It is normal to go to a counselor...hundreds of people do.
Another resource is your school counselor. They are professionally trained and can help you too.
Peace be with you!
2006-10-26 22:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by Annamaria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is messed up that you saw a rape taking place right before your eyes.. It makes me wonder what other sorts of trauma you may have been subject to that you are not sharing with us. I know alot of people would tell you to seek psychiatric treatment but it is hard to know where to go to get it. Think about talking to your school counselor about what happened so that you can be taken care of. The last thing you want is for this stigma to affect you the rest of your life..
Always remember that you are your own man. Your father messed up but that is his problem and he will have to live with his bad decision.
Why do you have thoughts about older women though? That is pretty strange right there.. Anyways good luck to you..
2006-10-26 18:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by La Voce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling can be normal and I would not put you in the pedophilia category. I think you are curious. As long you you do not act on your thoughts it is ok tho have those thoughts. I think as you get older they will go away. If it comes to the point you actually may act on them then get help early. I do think you should get some counseling to things you have seen out. You have been through a lot. You need to talk about it. Good luck, Let me know if you get stuck getting help. It will be ok. I am glad you brought it up, its a big step.
2006-10-26 20:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by clearwatervike 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Though they wont admit it publicly, most men do have thoughts about young girls. The difference is that 99% of us would never do anything about it but look. There is this thing called discipline that prevents us from taking it any further. On the oppositte side of the scale, many older, more mature women are a turn on for the younger guy. To a younger man a womans maturity and confidence are what does it for them. You know what your father has done and unless you discipline yourself from his ideals you are bound to repeat the mistake that he has done.
2006-10-26 18:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe this problem is beyond the typical adolescent sexuality. I really believe you need help professionally to deal with all that you have experienced. Thoughts precede actions. I fear if you do not get help now the consequences can turn drastic. Talk to a mental health professional about this. What you experienced as a child was not your fault, but you can help yourself now by getting some professional help.
Good luck
2006-10-26 22:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by Peace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wil pass if you curve the thoughts. Your also fifteen and will have such thoughts. Don't look to deep into it, but you might what to seek better help. You'll probably be fine....it's weird though. You also don't have to end up like your father if you truly don't want to. Just find girls your age to date.
2006-10-26 18:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by Fabledphilosophy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 15, to think an 8-13 year old is cute is fine, it's wrong to pursue those thoughts though, you cant have sex with someone who is 8-13 ... now, when you are 21, and you find someone 18 attractive ,yes, that would be acceptible behaviour ...
2006-10-26 18:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by londonhawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no insight into your situation. I don't have the proper training to say anything at all. However, I think it would be worth pointing out that this is true for most of the people on yahoo answers.
2006-10-27 00:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by Shadow Fish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋