Too early for parenthood at 23?

Question

I'll be 22 next week and my to-be husband would like me to start trying to get pregnant sometime next year. If I get pregnant this summer, I wouldn't give birth until I was 23. I think sometimes that I will be too young; however, I have a steady job & income. I'll be finished with school in May, or at least degreed. My husband is 26, will be 27 by the time I give birth. We are financially stable & have a living situation to accomodate a child.

Any thoughts on the situation would be welcomed.

BTW, getting married next month.

I’ve also known my partner for four years now. I have no doubt about his parenting abilities. It has more to do with the age factor. I know most people are never “ready” to have a child. It’s more to do with the actual age factor & wanting to know other’s opinions on the matter.

Answer 1

You know I just turned 24, have a great husband, am financially stable and have been married for over a year and a half. I still feel I am too young to be pregnant. (I am 10 weeks along.) I think it is natural to feel that way. I felt I was too young to be married at 22! But I knew I was ready. I think our hearts can tell us one thing and our logic (or our minds) tell us another. I look at the students in HS (my husband is a religion teacher at a private HS) and I say to myself..."I'm not much older than these kids am I?" then I realize that it has been like 6 years since I graduated from HS and almost two from the University. You will know when you are ready. Sometimes in comes on quickly and you just know. Congratulations on your up coming marriage! Marriage is the best thing that has happened to me, I highly recommend it. :) And Good Luck with the baby thing...don't worry, it is normal to not feel ready for such a huge step, but time has a way of preparing us. Best of Luck!

Answer 2

My husband and I were going to start trying about six months after we got married. I was 22 he was 24. We were married, early April, got pregnant late April (doc said that it should take a few months for birth control to stop working, apparently not) and I am now 7 months pregnant. I will be 23 1/2 when the baby is born and hubby will be 25 1/2. We were ready and both have steady jobs and are financially responsible. There are still going to be times where you stop and go, "Oh my gosh can I really do this!?" But that's natural. It is natural to worry about parenthood as it is a huge responsibility. If you are ready and have had enough fun with out a baby (ie:your done doing the partying and a lot of free time) then my advice is go for it, but make sure you want to. If you are ready to share everything with this little person...then you are ready. You will just know. And no, I don't think either of you are too young.

Answer 3

I went through the same thought process at 23. I'm glad I waited. My husband and I had a lot of time to bond, which I am greatful for. I also had the time to go back to school to get my Master's degree and a second bachlor's degree. I am now 28 and will be having my first child.

The only person that can really decide if you are ready for a child is you. Once you have a child they will always be there. Children can be wonderful and fullfilling. They also can be stressful and time consuming.

The most important thing I've realized is that it's important to know who you are and what you want to continue to be, so that when you have a child you don't lose your personal identity.

Good luck deciding.

Answer 4

I'm in a similar situation... I'm almost 23, my husband is 27, and we are thinking about starting our family within the next year or so. If you feel that the time is right for you, and you are financially stable, and have a loving partner, then go for it. But if you feel you are not ready, then you should wait a little while.

You said that your husband to-be would like you to get pregnant, but do YOU want to get pregnant right away?? Your body will be going through all the changes, so if you're not ready, don't do it just because your husband wants you to.

Answer 5

I was 24 when I had my first, and 26 for the second (hubby is 5 years older than I am). I would suggest though to spend a little time as husband and wife before having a baby right away.

Hubby and I had planned our wedding way in advance, and then I ended up getting pregnant before our wedding. I was 3 months along at the wedding. My pregnancy was stressed, because although we certainly wanted a baby, we just didn't have enough time for just the two of us before the baby was born.

The good thing though about having kids while you are young is that you will be able to be more active in the kid's lives. Whenever it happens, it will be fine. Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm gonna tell you this, most of the time you would think you are not ready to have a child- even if you have a stable situation. It just seems like we keep putting so many things (also important) before having a baby. But you know what? when you get pg you realize all the sudden that you are ready and able to habndle the responsibility. So if you think it's a good time go for it. If you think it's too early then don't. All I'm saying is that you have already all the things you need to get a baby....stable job, stable partner, maturity...just need to go for it.

Answer 7

I don't think it matters so much how old you are or what you have, don't get me wrong that is very important but having a baby is more then just rationalizing your situation it's being ready to give yourself completely &* do anything for a little person youve never met but always knew and realizing that your heart and brain are going to go throw hoops and the little bit of your brain and heart you managed to keep while pregnant is theirs the moment you hold them in your arms and realize that they are yours and will always be and its your job to protect them and raise them. And is your fiance ready for their to be a new love in your life because believe it or not when a baby is very young they get jealous because the love and affection they used to get is now the babies. The question is not are you ready to have a baby but are you ready to make a child your world ( specially when they're little). are you ready to drop everything in a blink of an eye to give someone everythign you can & also are you ready to become the center of theirs? Are you ready to be a mother and carry both the burdens and strengths that come along with it? But only you can answer that.

Answer 8

If you know you are financially, emotioanlly and physcially ready to have a baby when you're 23 then go for it. Some people may be ready for a baby at your age and some may not be. You seem to be mature enough to know what you want. It's your life and nobody elses. Since you have a soon to be husband and he wants a child as well then you are in a great situation to have a baby. Good luck.

Answer 9

Society states when a person is "too" young to have a child because of finances and other major resposibilities. My wife and I are both 23 and are doing just fine with a little boy (age 3). Yes, he was born when she and I were 20. We did fine...even though our financial situation for the first year was overstretched. After that, however, we started becoming masters at handling a baby and finances.

Answer 10

Make sure you are both ready. It sounds like you are not quite there yet, and that's okay. Just enjoy being married and your good income for awhile, and after you have your degree get established with your career. I'm not saying to wait this long, but I was 29 when I gave birth to my daughter, my husband was 31. It's perfectly fine to wait awhile, and who knows, that "I want a baby" bug might bite you sooner than you think. My friend is German, and we currently live in Germany. Most Germans wait until their 30's to have their first child. My friend was 29 like me when she had her first, and she thought she was too young to be having a child. Good Luck, it'll all work out.