Trick o' Treating Dilemna?

Question

This Halloween, I'm going trick-o-treating with three other friends, and we know we'll have a ball. There is another girl at school though, whom none of us like, that wishes to go with us. She keeps dropping hints "I wish I could go with you", and she came out and asked one of us already. None of us like her, and we know that if she comes with us she'll complain about everything not perfect about our evening- she can be very negative. How do we politely decline her requests, or should we not?

Oh, and something else I forgot to mention is that her parents just got divorced last summer, and her mom has already remarried and moved out-of-state. This November, our "friend" that wishes to go with us will be moving, too.I kinda feel like we should allow her to come out of sympathy.

But is it okay to risk/ guarantee a not fun Halloween because we're sympathetic to her case?

Answer 1

Hmmmmm...... that is quite a dilemma.

You could say no as politely as possible. (Explain that you haven't invited anyone else to come along because you were hoping it would just be you and your 2 friends). And then, if you have a big party to go to, ask her if you're going to see her there. That way, she won't feel so left out. If she attends the party, you can introduce her to other people and hopefully she won't be hanging around you and complaining all night.

EDIT: In answer to your last question....

"But is it okay to risk/ guarantee a not fun Halloween because we're sympathetic to her case?"

..... To some people, it's not okay to say no. For others, saying no isn't a big deal. That's not a question I can answer. Only you can.

Answer 2

Maybe you could talk to her about how it's going to be, like say,
''There are a lot of us going, are you sure you want to hang with a big group"... Maybe you could offer to do something one on one with her earlier in the day. As a woman who grew up tagging along with my friends, I know this girl knows if she's really wanted or not. She is probably trying to find someone who wants her around, and will spend time with her and make her feel wanted. Inviting her along out of pity will just make it more awkward and painful for everyone. You're better off just being honest.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Why don't you take her aside and say, "Hannah, you've been hinting around at going with us. But, I have to say, sometimes you are really negative, and if you're going to be that way, well, I just don't want to invite you."

Let her respond--she might be defensive (so, if she gets mad, she won't want to go with you anyway), she might be hurt or sad (in which case, there's a good chance she'll try to change the behavior), or she might be clueless (at which point you have to stand your ground and say, "I don't want to be around you.").

In this way, you are not lying to her or hiding anything from her. While there's a chance she'll think you're mean, you are being honest and up front. To be fair, if she can change the behavior, then you should let her come with you. If changing the behavior won't change your mind, then it wasn't her negativity to begin with, and that's just an excuse.

Any way you dice it, to be true to yourself, face up to her and give her the opportunity to correct it.

Answer 4

OK, if I were in your situation I would probably just take her a side and say that you and your friends made plans with each other and that you don't want them to change. Just tell her maybe some other time you guys can hang out, just not when you go trick-or-treating.

Answer 5

It relies upon on the canines through fact each and each canines's character is distinctive, yet with plenty happening in the time of halloween it quite is a secure wager that your canines gets scared and bark at or chew somebody. in case you do take your canines out for halloween please be very careful. to illustrate, what happens if between the properties you pass to trick-or-take care of at has a large canines that assaults your canines while the door is opened. greater ideal risk-free than sorry.

Answer 6

It would be very nice if you invited her. But at the same time you shouldn't have to ruin you evening for her. How but hanging out for a few hours and then have her come with you a little later on! That way you can be nice without having to deal with her for to long:)

Answer 7

It's all pretty sticky sounding.

You need to check with your other friends - it sounds like you are willing to be flexible, given the circumstances, to let her come along. But if your other friends are strongly opposed - well, their feelings need to be considered as well. If all of you are flexible - then have her along. You can do your best to have good fun, even if she's there! (Just ignore her when she complains - I do that to a friend of mine who can be too much. She doesn't complain as much to me, because I get distant looking and go "uh huh" and change the topic.)

Best of luck - but consider your other friend's feelings!

Answer 8

Shes probly having a hard time about hte divorce. She look sup 2 u guys. Give her a chance. U nver know, u might become friends.

Answer 9

To be honest, I would let her go with you. It would be nice of you guys to make her last few days in the same community with you an enjoyable one. Let her go with you, if worse comes to worse, you have next year with out her for sure.

Answer 10

let her come. if you don't like the way she acts you can make fun of her next year.
if someone tries to tell you that you are (will be) too old to trick or treat , they are full of you know what. you are NEVER too old to trick or treat.