monotony is just haunting my relationship of 7 years.we work together in our biznes, live together, barely have any social life or frens. b/c of work we are so drained. we are close as frens, but there is no romance.nor is there passion etc. i dont feel special. i enjoy my time alone alot more than time with him. i really care about him as a person, but not to call him the man of my life, more like a friend. most things about him from looks to viewpoints i just cannot stand. i liked him b/c he was different now i cant stand him most of the times. should i go away (i was planning on studying abroad for a year)? or should i just break up and end this bad chapter? he is very dependant on me, and he makes me feel guilty even if i spend too much time on the phone with my friends or go out with them etc. its like he wants me all to himself. i always listen to his politics etc. he has no interest in my spiritual/psychological goals etc. we have nothing in common!but we are married. i cant!
2006-10-26 10:16:32 · 16 answers · asked by bella2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you go abroad for a year as you planned? Marriage is a lifelong committment and you owe it to yourselves to try your best to work things out. A separation will make things a lot clearer. Once you spread you wings and can breathe without him, you'll be in a lot better mindset to make important desicions.
2006-10-26 10:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Rairia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've definitely gotten on each other's nerves, but that can happen to people with the most in common and deep in love if around each other as long as it sounds ya'll are. Please consider a business split and see how that goes before deciding to divorce. You may remember why you fell in the love in the first place or may simply need a lifestyle change to spice things up. (I worked at a high-stress job for years, and savored every second of silence and time away from everyone, including the hubby. He got on my nerves too. I realized one day that the job I loved so much had changed me into a person I didn't really like. After I left that job, everything around me, including my relationship improved.) Good luck!
2006-10-26 10:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray to God for discernment about yourself and him. Then read books on rejuvenating your marriage. Sit down and tell him how you feel and what you need. Then do it yourself. Love him like you want to be loved.
Believe me when the situation is discussed in truth, you have the best chance of seeing what you have and what you need to do to make it better.
More than likely, he is feeling the same way you are. Marriage has to reinvent, reinvigorate and grow or else there will always be a reason to quit. Work together to see if you can get back on the same page. If you can't, then you may want to leave, but I don't think you've given your best, neither of you at this point.
He doesn't have the fine body he used to have, you have more wrinkles and less hair than you used to......this can go on forever. Reinvent, Re-energize. Give it your best. You may bring out the best in him.
2006-10-26 10:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by LovingFather 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a lot of people that have answered your question have told you to laeve but I think the best think for you to do would be to get a new job and spend some time doing things each other likes will bring you closer together it sounds like you guys just need to re-connect with each other. Don't just run away from the problem, thjats the easy way out don't just give up. it sounds like it was good in the begining.
2006-10-26 10:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Erica M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me and my husband, the only difference is I still like him and I have a good time with him but there is no passion between us.
It seemes that you two are together too much time. When we went to marriage counseling, one thing she stressed was the fact that married people needed time on their own. If you guys are working together too that makes it worse. Sit down and tell your husband how you are feeling. It may hurt his feelings but if you don't get this out, you will continue to resent him. Also seek marriage counseling. There are ideas they can give you to re-establish your relationship and maybe put that passion back into it. Good Luck.
2006-10-26 10:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound dumb, but r u married to my husbands brother? LOL i am in the almost same situation, plus other things. I saw some good advice. Why don't u separate AND find a separate job? Take time to decide what u want as final. I feel for u, I am where u r.
2006-10-26 11:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really want to be married to him? it sounds like you dont..
if you dont see yourself being in love with him, or can actually say that you love him....then yes..leave. Also, the insecurity and dependency is a red flag. My ex husband was like that, very very insecure, he even came to the point of telling me he didnt like me having friends because it took time away from him. This could lead to a bad cycle. I learned the hard way, do what it takes to keep yourself happy, otherwise what is life worth living for if you are not happy. Do what makes you happy.
2006-10-26 10:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, bail out like 90% of the population and leave the person you made a commitment to when you said "I DO". I seem to remember the words for "better or worse", not for when "I feel like it". Oh well, we live in a society of quitters and whiners and wonder why this darn country is goin to hell. It is because nobody makes a commitment and honors that commitment.
2006-10-26 10:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by Bulldog 66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the business and get a different job. You need some time away from him to know you are a person other a business partner. He needs time away from you so he won't take you for granted. Don't give up on the marriage yet.
2006-10-26 10:24:21 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've already made up your mind, and that you're posting this question just so someone will tell you that it's ok to divorce him and thereby ease your guilty conscience.
You married for life, for better or for worse, remember?
2006-10-26 10:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋