My wife gave birth 3 months ago, and after the 40 days we have only have sex once every two weeks and if lucky a week and a half. she says she is tire even though i help her. I love my wife don't think I will live her because of this. but I feel depressed I love telling my wife how pretty she is and you know when you get all romantic you expect that, we do have a chance to be together when the baby is asleep, maybe I am not understanding my wife you tell me! will this change? is it normal?
2006-10-26 10:02:28 · 46 answers · asked by FRIEND 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is normal that woman after the birth of child has hormonal changes. The result is condition called the maternity baby blues, or baby blues that 75-80% of mothers can experience after childbirth with a wide variety of symptoms which generally involve mild depression and associated with it reduced sex drive. Other symptoms are: Weepings and bursting into tears.
Sudden mood swings. Anxious and hypersensitive to criticism.
Low spirits and irritability. Poor concentration and indecisiveness. Feeling 'unbonded' with baby. Restless insomnia.
Keep assuring that you love her and you child she will recover soon.
2006-10-26 10:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal.
Remember, it's only been 3 months since she went through childbirth and she may not feel like her normal self just yet. Plus with a new baby, even though you help her -- she's probably very tired!
Still be there for her, tell her how pretty she is, tell her you love her, but please don't lose hope. With all the changes in her body, her hormones, your new family member, possibly even a mild case of postpartum blues or fatigue... there are a lot of things for you both to get used to.
Sometimes, she may appreciate that you don't expect more than a quiet snuggle. It doesn't mean she loves you any less than she used to. Things will go back to being closer to normal but give it some time okay?
Good luck!
2006-10-26 10:08:54 · answer #2 · answered by MissJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is completely normal for a woman to focus more on the joys and trials of new motherhood, than on the joys of sex. She's preoccupied with the demands the baby has made on her, and she's probably very tired at the end of the day and just wants to rest and sleep. Maybe she's afraid of getting pregnant again too soon, even with birth control. Give her some time and cut her some slack. Once the novelty of new motherhood wears off, and the baby gets into a normal routine; i.e., not waking up during the night, her interest in sex should return to its pre-baby frequency.
2006-10-26 10:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just had a baby. No matter how much you help, she is still going to be exhausted because she has not yet adjusted to being a mother. AND, the few months after giving birth are some of the most fertile times--she is probably (if subconsciously) afraid of getting pregnant again so soon!
It is very unfair of you to think that you will stop loving her because of this. You just need to be supportive. You knew sex would be less frequent after baby. It will probably increase once the child is on a more normal schedule and once you both have adjusted, but it will probably never be rabbit-like again. You have both reached adulthood now.
2006-10-26 10:07:40 · answer #4 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My goodness, the baby is only three months old and you're already feeling this way? Your wife is tired because having a baby is an exhausting experience for the body and the hormones, especially if she is breastfeeding, do not stop messing with you as soon as baby is delivered. Give it a little time and by the time baby is a toddler, things will be more back to normal but it's never going to be like it was before baby.
2006-10-26 10:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. You are doing the right things, keep trying. But something to expect is that it will only get worse. If she's showing reticence at this point, imagine it going to once every month or so. When she's older, expect it to go away all together. Expect her to tell you things like you should get a vasectomy, that she's tired, that you are oversexed, that the mood isn't right, that the kids might wake up or barge in. Keep trying, but draw a line on what's acceptable and what's not.
2006-10-26 10:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Scott K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal. Talk to her when you are both free for a few minutes and tell her how this feels to you. Listen to what she says and see if you both can come up with a way to have time away from the baby where someone she trusts will care for the baby. Your chances of sex and romance are much better that way. Keep your communication open and loving.
2006-10-26 10:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by Maia B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for a lot of woman not to be as sexual after birth but she needs to take your feelings into account. If you are helping your wife with the baby, then she needs to understand what you are feeling. Sit down and talk with her and tell her how you feel and maybe go with her to a doctor to make sure everything is ok with her as far as her hormones go.
2006-10-26 10:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup very normal, most women loose there sex drive after a baby, It's going to take alot of time and patience on your part. She's more then likely realy stressed right now even with you helping, women stress about the smallest things and thats probably some of the reason our sex drive is lowered
2006-10-26 10:06:04 · answer #9 · answered by caiforniapoppy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a busy computer science major and we only have sex every 1-1/2 to 2 weeks; as newlyweds with no children.
Its normal for women to have reduced libido after childbirth. Giving birth is very taxing on a woman's body and dealing with a newborn (even with dad's help) can be overwhelming.
2006-10-26 10:08:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋