How can I help my 3 yr old daughter better understand our family?

Question

I had my daughter out of marriage. It didn't work out with me and her dad. He lives an hour away but we our in town at least once a week. I am remarried now and also have a 14 year old step son. My daughter and husband love each other very much and are extremely close. He has been in her life since she turned 1. She knows her dad is someone important and often cries for him. She doesnt see him very much because he doesnt ask for her. I have to prompt him and call him often so he stays involved. Lately shes been having a hard time with the whole mommy/ daddy issue. She has called my husband daddy several times and play calls her daddy several times a day. I want to better help her understand because she is often emotionally upset by not having her daddy. Ive explained that our family is special because she has so many ppl who love her but i dont think its enough. can someone please help. Im worried.

Answer 1

I think her father should try harder to be in her life and attempt to help explain the situation with you maybe even with your new husband there. Good Luck that's a tough one. Or else why dont you just tell her your husbands her dad and let her call him daddy he is the one in her life.

Answer 2

my parents divorced when I was, and my step dad the one that walked me down the aisle has been around since I was1.5yrs old. as well, It is difficult, my father never wanted to be around or would always make a promise to come and get us and never would, my mom was the one that prompted him as well, all in all, I call my step dad, dad why? Becuase he raised me, was there for me growing up and never once complained that we were not his children he loved us as much as he loved my mom, and they did just celebrate 27 yrs together. Personally, you have done all that you can, and I would say to the father, ok I am done trying to keep you involved, if you want the realtionship with your daughter then he needs to be the one that goes out of his way to be there with her, you should not be the one to put forth all of the effort. Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad, daddy.. I do not speak to my father, I have not spoken to him in over 5 yrs, by my choice, just continue on what you are doing by informing her she is loved in so many ways, and she will come to her own conclusions, never bad mouth the father in front of her, even though he probably deserves it.. Best of luck, If you and the new hubby are well to do and emotionally stable, she will be too.. Children practice what they see.. She will be okay....

Answer 3

It's very hard because she is so young. But the problem is if your ex is not trying to be involved in her life. After awhile you will get tired of trying to get him to spend time with his daugther. If your husband is caring for her and doing all the parental things and if she calls him daddy, then don't correct her, because this will confuse her so much. Maybe as she gets older and can understand better you can explain about your special family and then she can decide if she wants to continue to call your husband "daddy"

Answer 4

Sounds as though your caring husband is serving the father role extremely well for both children. Why not let her call him and your ex "daddy"? She's so special, she has TWO daddies that love her very much! You're being so hard on yourself. In the loving home it sounds like you're providing, your little one will be ok. Good luck, Girl.

Answer 5

Why not let her call your husband daddy? What is wrong with that? I don't understand why your worried. He is her dad because he is raising her. Quit talking about her real dad to her. You are the one confusing her.

Answer 6

Well there is sperm daddy and house daddy. In the big picture the house daddy is much more important.

Answer 7

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WENT THREW THE SAME THING SO SHE MADE A LIL BOOK WITH THE PICTURES OF EACH OF THE FAMILY MEMBER AND WROTE A STORY OF HOW SHE CAME ABOUT AND TEL HER THAT THINGS LIKE YOUR BIRTH DAYDDY OVES YOU BUT HE HAS A LIFE SOME WHERE ELES SO HE CANT BE HERE FOR YOU BUT WE WILL SEE HIM WHEN WE CAN AND B/C HE CANT B HEAR GOD GAVE YOU _________TO ACT AS YOUR DADDDY EVER DAY AND TELL THINGS ABOUT HER THAT HE LOVE HER SWEET SMILE THEWAY HE SEE HER MOM IN HER AND THAT HE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF AHER CAUSE DADDY ISNT ABLE TOOO HOPE THIS GIVE U AN IDEA TO WORK WITH GOD BLESSS AND KNOW KIDS KNOW MORE THAN WE GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR GOD BLESS

Answer 8

Yeah I keep in mind even as i became like that. i'm 20 so it wasn't tooo till now. I nonetheless keep in mind how I felt . It became that i needed to do issues on my own and that i didnt want to communicate over with my mom about something. even although my mom and that i are reallly close. I in basic terms needed her to diminish go into reverse. yet no count number what I did she continually sat me down and suggested "communicate over with me!!". I hated that and that i continually ended up crying. That went on for a lengthy time period yet then it stopped because i realized that i might want to communicate over such as her, yet she also sponsored off quite. so that you're correct, that is in basic terms a chunk(Thank god). As on your 6 year old, i'd in basic terms say attempt to spend a lot of time such as her and enable her comprehend what is going on and that your continually goin to be there for the both absolutely one of them.

Answer 9

you sound like a great caring mom your daughter will be okay. I KNOW it hurts to watch your daughter cry for a guy who dose not try to be around. My daughters is 8.5 her dad left when she was 5.5 HAS NEVER SEEN her again or called or sent a card. Dead beat dads have no clue how their choices reflect on their daughters.