Ok, i have been talking to this guy on the phone for like a year now, and like i have a son, and he is a year old and some months, and he doesn't know that, and i'm now pregnant with my bf kid...i gave my son to his father to raise and i wasn't ready at the time and i know it was kinda of childish but, how in the world am i going to tell my current bf that i have a son??? do you think i should, or not??? he thinks that i don't have any kids and, i do...i think i should tell him but i don't know how!!! i need help with this one!!! my bf is really sweet and he makes good money and i love him so much and he would do anything in the world for me...what would you do if you were in my situation???
2006-10-26 09:59:50 · 16 answers · asked by sneakysteph22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
AND I DO SEE MY SON BY THE WAY..I SEE HIM EVERY WEEKEND, I AM IN HIS LIFE, FORGOT TO ADD THOSE COMMENTS1!!!!!
2006-10-26 10:08:41 · update #1
You have to tell him. You can't hide kids forever. If he truly loves you, he will be ok with it.
2006-10-26 10:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. You are pregnant with his child right? So hopefully you love him. Do you plan on marrying him? It's not right to have that hidden. Your son is a major part of you. People remarry and have stepchildren all the time. It's not like you cheated on him and had a baby. This was in your history. It will always be apart of you. Don't put your son on the back burner and be ashamed of him. If your bf loves you and wants to share his life with you then he will understand. But be prepared for him to be very angry that you didn't tell him before hand. I don't think he will walk away from you but their may be resentment for a while. Just be honest and explain the situation but that you love you son and you want your bf to be in his life too. Everyone has a past and there are many things that can never be changed. But we are talking about a child that is a part of you! Just like the one in your belly! I am not trying to be harsh so please forgive me if I come across that way. Best of luck! If your bf doesn't accept all of you then maybe you should rethink things with him. It's just tricky now that there is another child in the picture.
2006-10-26 10:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by AB11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must tell him about your son.No if's ands or buts . If he is half as great as you say he is , he will say cool when can I meet the little guy. If he can not accept your son then you shouldn't accept him.
It is NOT selfish and does not make you a bad mother because you let your son be raised by his father. You did the right thing. If you felt you could not raise him (your son) by yourself and were not ready to be a mother,then you made the best choice for him and you.
Do your son right. Be there when you can , remember to get him birthday and holiday stuff , and don't be ashamed of him.
There are more things in life to having a guy who makes alot of money. Im hoping the guy your pregnant by is the same guy you think is so sweet and has a good job.
My suggestion on how to introduce your son to your boyfriend is to get ahold of his father (your sons) and set up arrangements (and stick to them) to pick your son up and take him out for a couple of hours , tell your guy to meet you there with the guise of ..Id like to introduce you to someone special to me...and take it from there.
I wish you the best of luck - and remember...
Men may come , men may go,but children are forever.
2006-10-26 10:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by minx_heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow is this new boyfriend in jail or something??? why have u only been talking to him on the phone??? & now u are knocked up again???? you cant just go around "giving" children as gifts...i think that you should not have another child if you cant even take care of the kid that u have. but to answer your question, yes you should tell this guy that you have a child....what kind of mother would hide their child from a man that they supposedly love??? usually mothers tell a new man right away that they have a child....
2006-10-26 10:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by miss me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him you have a son. State why you might not have told him before (embarassment, not ready, immature, etc.). If he truly loves you he will understand and deal with the information in an adult manner. After all, you are going to have a baby with him and it will be your son's half brother. They will need to know each other. Just don't wait much longer, or you might regret it!!!
2006-10-26 10:20:26 · answer #5 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how on earth can you not tell someone you have a son already, to me my son is my world and i tell strangers about him! your boyfriend should understand but he might be peed off that you didnt tell him sooner i know i would be!you just have to tell him and i think you should put your son alot more back in your life he is going to have a younger sister or brother which he has the right to know about!! and i hope for this babies sake you can bring it up yourself! sorry you might think im a cow now but you asked a question and i answered it truthfully
YOU WERE ASKING QUESTIONS A FEW DAYS AGO ON HOW TO MEET MILITARY MEN ONLINE AND YOUR PREGNANT???
2006-10-26 10:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by mummy of 2 boys and a princess x 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
.
OMG!
Of course you tell your boyfriend.... ALWAYS tell the truth!
If he loves you... he will embrace the thought of your 1st child, and I hope you still have and continue to have a relationship with your 1st child... NO MATTER WHAT!
If your bf is not amused, guess he would not do 'anything in the world for you'.
Time to take some parenting classes..... yesh... time to take some relationship or communication classes!
i wish you the best.
2006-10-26 10:12:52 · answer #7 · answered by cheesytoast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definetely must tell him. Truthfully, he should've been told in the begining. But, if I were him, I'd want to know before our relationship got to the point of marriage. Now, that would be trouble.
2006-10-26 10:13:47 · answer #8 · answered by Barak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him and if he really loves you then he'll accept that fact. If he over reacts then he's not worth it. And next time start your relationship by telling that you have children. Never hide that fact.
2006-10-26 12:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering what you said to the person about the abortion, I think you have bad karma and are gonna have a rotten life. Oh, its fine to foist your kid off on someone else but when someone takes responsibiliy for the mess they've made, you all them a murderer???
Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, SHUT UP!
Dont want an abortion?
Dont have one.
MY BODY
MY CHOICE!
2006-10-26 10:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by cici 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋