has anyone else had this problem and how did you fix it? don't get me wrong we still have a great and regular sex life but its not as 'energetic' as it used to be.we usually have to 'spoon' which is lovely and nice and all that but sometimes...well, y'know we just want to 'go for it' but its too uncomfortable for her.i know i should be glad i'm 'getting some' 'cos some blokes on this site aren't getting any but still...we sometimes miss how it used to be.
2006-10-26 09:05:00 · 16 answers · asked by Ivan R Don 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i should have mentioned the section was 2.5 years ago
2006-10-27 08:01:44 · update #1
How long has it been since the c-section? Maybe she just needs a little more time. Have you ever been cut open and had 7 lbs. or more taken out of you? I didn't think so. That sh** hurts. been there and done it 3 times!!!
I'm glad to hear you say "i should be glad" because you should be , and it shows that you do understand and that you are not trying to be selfish.
It can take some time to heal, there is alot of inner as well as outer scaring and tissue that needs time to heal properly.
but don't worry - it does get better!
Do you're best not to make her feel bad that it's not as wild and crazy as you would like, Let her know how great it is and remind her more often how beautiful and wonderful she is.
There are books out there that can give you two some idea's of differant positions to spice it up, but if she doesn't know you feel this way, bring it up with her best intrest at heart ( like: "i know it's not like it was,but im afriad i might hurt you or it will be to painful,and the last thing i would ever want is to do anything to hurt you, so maybe we could try this__position / book /____".
She has given you the best gift that any one can give- the life of you're child. So be good to her, love her more then ever and make her- take time for herself ( don't wait for her to ask)
Congrats and Good luck, i hope all is back in good working order soon!!!
2006-10-26 09:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by ashley s 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long has it been? If it has been MONTHS she should talk to her doctor. If it has been weeks, you should be treating this woman like a queen because she must love you very much.
Also ask yourself: If it hurt YOU everytime you had sex, how energetic would you be?
OR: If you had to run on a strained muscle, how fast could you go and would you still like running?
You probably just need to give it time and re-read the last part of your question about how lucky you are and take it easy with her.
BTW Women used to stay in hospital or bed for 2 weeks after a c section in the old days. How long did your wife?
2006-10-26 16:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by bookmom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It might be uncomfortable for her for a while shortly after having the C-section, but I would think that after a couple of months she would have healed enough to not have any discomfort. When I had my C-sections (18 yrs ago) I remember being really numb in the area of the incision, but sometimes maybe coughing or sudden twist or turns would flare up that area. Maybe it's just too soon for the two of you. Maybe you can get a very small pillow (like the size of one to support your neck) and "pad" the incision area so it won't become irritated. Hope that helps!
2006-10-26 16:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by karen W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I also had my daughter by C-section. I stuck to the 6 week rule but was still tender at first. Eventually the area became numb. If it has been a while and she is still experiencing pain she needs to see her doctor because there could be something seriously wrong. Not to scare you but they could have left a sponge or something behind and a simple x-ray can figure that out. I hope all is well and congrats on the baby
2006-10-26 16:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by platinumhen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Recovery after a Caesarean can take longer than a vaginal birth.
Understand that the woman's abdomen area is cut open and takes longer to heal. That's why "spooning" makes perfect intimacy fulfillment. There are other ways to be intimate, sexually, and have it fulfilling for both partners, however, you both should have that conversation together. Some things are just going to be physiologically difficult for your wife to endure or even put herself in the physical.
Let the healing process take its course and enjoy learning new ways to be intimate. There should be no rush, as in time, you will not only learn new ways to please one another but you will have a fantastic time learning those techniques.
2006-10-26 16:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how far out from the C-Section she is. I had 2 and yes it did take a while for sex to be "comfortable" again. But it will get there, don't be discouraged. For a while have her be on top. There's no pressure to her stomach that way and in my opinion much more pleasureable and you get an awesome view. It's always an option for just wanting to "go for it" too.
2006-10-26 16:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by cakelady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She will be tender for quite a while. But instead of actually laying on her, why don't you get in a pressure free position, such as standing while she is laying, etc.
Depends upon how long ago that C-section was. After the nerve endings heal, and the incision is totally healed.......it should get back to normal. But for now.......look into pressure-less entry techniques.
2006-10-26 16:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by lilac b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to give things a chance to get back in their place. it could take some time. I am the leftover product of three c-sections and while it took a while for things to get back to the way they were, I still wanted to have sex. It was painful and I really couldn't get my groove on. It took a different amount of time between each delivery, but on average it was somewhere between 3-6 months before I was able to be back on top of my game. We just had to take things slowly, he was patient and before long, I was back to swinging on the ceiling fans!
2006-10-26 20:07:48 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how long has it been since the c-section? Give her time to heal for goodness sakes. A womans body changes a lot during pregnancy,,,it takes a while to go back to normal. You'll get to "go for it" again, just be patient.
2006-10-26 16:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by kiss me 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd ask the dr about the possibility of catching a nerve while stitching her up. I had a laproscopy done 20 years ago--my belly button still feels like its gone *to sleep and woken up* if touched wrong--or i lean on counter to wash dishes. maybe thats what happened to her (?)
2006-10-26 16:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by Duckie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋