There are no children yet--we are only engaged, but we're talking about these things. I don't want my children to believe that I am damned, nor does he want them to grow up without faith. What is a good compromise--other than agnosticism :)?
2006-10-26 08:34:34 · 15 answers · asked by Nipivy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It can be done ! Me and my husband raised our children together quite well, His family and he is Buddhist, I was baptized and raised Baptist. we teach our kids both sides, both backgrounds and let them decide for their selves upon reaching the age when they felt ready. It is a lot of hard work but they have the best of both worlds!
2006-10-26 08:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by Rocky C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are tolerant enough to be engaged and yet hold very different religious/spiritual beliefs, you must have talked about it a lot before you made the decision to be together. Keep talking, and I'm sure you'll work something out. However, if you are strong in your Christian beliefs, I don't know how you would be able to compromise. Since an Atheist doesn't believe in a God, I think he would have less of a problem. People make choices, and why would he deny you the right to make a choice for your children that conform to your beliefs, since he doesn't have any spiritual beliefs?
2006-10-26 15:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good compromise is for each of you to go out and find a new partner. His Bible strictly tells him not to marry an unbeliever. If he proceeds with the wedding, I would seriously question his position as a "fundamentalist" Christian. If he is a fundmentalist Christian, he himself must believe that you are damned, and your children will come to realize it too as they grow up in the faith.
2006-10-26 15:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is a TRUE Christian Fundamentalist, he wouldn't marry an atheist!!!!!!!!!
At any rate, you better get this worked out WAY before you bring children into this world. I think the important thing is that you teach your children love & compromise. But I don't understand that if he believes you are damned why he would marry you!?!?!
Strange....
2006-10-26 15:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your faith (or lack of) is important to you, then marry someone who shares it. I can't imagine a good compromise--? Go to church only once a month? Have no religious influence on holidays? Read only the good parts of the Bible? Say there's a God, but Daddy doesn't believe? You'll have a hard time instilling religious values in your kids if the parents aren't on board with it. Maybe just become a Scientologist or a Buddhist.
2006-10-26 15:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't beleive your children will think you are damned. I think if he is a christain and you don't have a real religion then you should allow him to take them to a christian church. If not, maybe you could both show your views on the topic and let your kids decide for themselves what they want to do when they become a certain age.
2006-10-26 15:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have no business getting married because this is an issue that you will NEVER be able to solve. He knows the Biblical admonition "not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers". This will NEVER work, it can't, it is virtually impossible to raise children in that environment without major problems in their lives. They will HAVE to choose and it will be a major conflict in their childhood, teenage years and young adult years. You will end up pitting them against both of your beliefs and you ALL will lose.
Do NOT get married under any circumstances. You WILL regret it if you do.
2006-10-26 15:40:41 · answer #7 · answered by snddupree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Alot of churches have children's ministries on Wednesday nights, let your children be involved in that to learn more about Jesus. I can't remember where it is in the Bible but Jesus said something about how it isn't the righteous that He needs to go to but the outcasts, so he can bring them to the Light. Jesus didn't judge those "outcasts", He just knew that they could bloom if learned from Jesus.
What I'm saying is that even though your children might learn about Jesus, hopefully they learned that we are not to judge ppl. You are their mother first, they won't judge you and your choice of husband just like they won't judge their father for his lack of faith - they will bring Jesus to him and Jesus might open the eyes of his heart. Because already their is hope for your husband because he wanted the kids to grow up with faith - that is like the door opening....
2006-10-26 15:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both should tell your children your own side of the story, so they will get the chance to choose themselves, when they are old enough.
2006-10-26 15:41:43 · answer #9 · answered by Elize-Helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex and myself decided to let the kids decide for themselves when they are old enough. I did however have them "confirmed". It set my mind at ease and my ex was OK with that. Our kids had the option to go to church with me or not. We have never forced any religion on them. To me its a personal choice not a forced one. They should be taught about all religions and let them decide.
2006-10-26 15:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋