If so what was the outcome? Are you happy now?
I am a 50 year old female and have for the last 10 years or so fantasized so much about running away and starting a new life. I have not been happy with my marriage, and have separated and then gotten back together, just to be stuck in the same unhappy situation. Kids are grown (from 22 to 33) but 22 year old still lives at home, but does not appreciate it and does not respect me. I feel guilty about the idea, but it is so appealing to me. I don't have any money set aside, but I would have access to a lump sum payment if I quit my job, and some 401K money, if I needed it. My current husband is not happy, and I don't think he ever will be. He is dragging me down with his negative pessimistic outlook on life. I want to be happy for a while before I have to leave this earth but it is so scary and seems so selfish. What to do?
2006-10-26 08:11:48 · 7 answers · asked by Coop 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am very close to my kids, and would definitely let them know where I was. I think they would be happy for me, with the exception of my 22 year old, but that's only because she'd probably need to find somewhere else to live (my husband is a stepfather to all of the kids, and was very emotionally and verbally abusive, which he and our marriage counselor seem to think was not that bad, because he didn't hit anyone. However the psychological damage he did to all of us was not good. I feel sorry for him, he found out he had prostate cancer while we were separated, and I guess that's part of the reason I went back to him. He says he loves my kids, and has been through a lot with them, but I really think he is jealous of the love I have for my kids.
2006-10-26 08:51:44 · update #1
Oh my goodness, your question is so touching! God Bless You. I think you are an extraordinary women for wanting to take control of your life and realizing that you are unhappy and wanting to do something about it and start over. Most women wait for someone else to fullfill their emptyness or fix there unhappiness, but not you. I am not over 40 years but I am in my 30's and believe me there have been times when I wanted to pack up my things and disappear to another state. Don't feel guilty. This is your chance for happiness. You say you have a settlement coming, your husbands not happy and it sounds like your 22 year old is taking you for granted (hubby too) so go for it. The reason I say this is because my mother and father divorced after 33 years and to this day my mother wished she had gotten out sooner, but she never had the courage. To this day she regrets not leaveing and starting over somewhere else. Whether you divorce your husband or just run away from home as you put it, if you are thinking about it, that means you should do it. I see so many women who are unhappy that wish they had done something about it when they had the chance. I commend you for recognizing your own unhappiness and taking control of the situation. You have a right to be selfish this is your life. Enjoy it. I wish the world was filled with more strong willed women such as yourself, maybe these men and children in our lives would respect us women more if we all started to "run away from home".
I know you will make the right decision. Good luck in your journey.
2006-10-26 08:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I want to tell you about my experience. I am 52 and always wanted to run away. all that kept me there were my kids, while they were small.well, they are 15 and 18 now. I did tell them what they already knew, that i wasn't happy, their dad wasn't happy. we hadn't slept together in 5 yrs. we had separate checking/savings accts. I gave them choices, and when they chose to remain in the only home they had ever known, and attend the schools they had always gone to, etc..I had to make a choice. anyway , your situation is different. My kids were rotten to me, probably cause their dad was.and we get along better now. I get home about every 10 days to see them. I find peace and serenity and a clean house are under rated. I am happy alone, I miss my kids, but talk to them everyday. they are happy, husband is happy.I I say go for it. I hated being over 50 and and having to answer to a man. I was always very independent. I would only suggest if you are close to your family, not to go too far away. I moved 2 hrs away. a friend in the same situation moved from Pa to Florida..leaving behind her husband and 2 kids. It is scary. But it isn't selfish. You do deserve some happiness. I do suggest research a little about an area that may appeal to you. it was a while before I found a job, and I am a nurse, i had saved some money over the years knowing that sooner or later, i was going. Please go. Life is too short. good luck!!!
2006-10-26 08:33:30 · answer #2 · answered by misty827 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell you I used to fantasized about that all the time
finally I get a divorce, but did not run away from my children
because they were no tthe cause of my unhappiness my husband was, in your case they are both
so Yes run away
How about taken a long vacation from work to see how you like it , you might not like not working so it will just to take a long vacation at first
and you can use this time to think what you want to do with the begining of your life
Good Luck
2006-10-26 08:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it girl I am rooting for you. I packed my bags 5 years ago with a small child I was 43. I left NY and moved all the way to NC. I had just a few thousand bucks. Got me an apartment and the first night that i stayed there I was so elated, I was so at peace I was so happy, oh my it was indescribable. I got me a new job I have returned to school to get my masters and i have not regretted anything except the fact that i didn't divorce the son of a gun - do you believe that he is trying to sue me for abandonment.
Leave right away like today and file for divorce when you reach your destination.
signed NY-Girl-In-NC
PS email me I'll help u out - a good support group even if it's just one person helps you get up the nerve to do it - tell em bye bye see ya wouldn't wanna be ya, lol
2006-10-26 08:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by Jazz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey I uderstand what u r going through I ve done it many times....If you are unhappy start living.At least let him know otherwise he will search for you...Let him know how you feel you have to understand that you r not that little young woman anymore.You are old enough to take charge in ur life.You can stay anywhere and it doesnt cost much because u r able to look for a job.You want responsebility which you don;t have so u r on your own which is responsibility as well.Find out who u r but let them know that you need to find yourself they should'nt hate you but they will if they dont know and then they worry don't let them worry that will be a mistake and you will regret it ...Think of you Grandchildren if you have them now or will in the future Good Luck
2006-10-26 08:20:18 · answer #5 · answered by aldatuneed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it! I'm a bit younger than you, but I did it with absolutely no money and very few possessions and it is the best thing I have ever done. I made wonderful friends, went to work in a field I love and now I'm married to the perfect guy. Do it! good luck.
2006-10-26 08:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he he he, most interesting question i've seen in a long time...
Sounds like you were a hippy back in the day
2006-10-26 08:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Pyp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋