Hubby's job is getting in the way of our relationship! What should I do?

Question

My husband's a contractor so sometimes he has to go out of town. Sometimes he is required to to and sometimes not. When he's not he will only go if there's a lot of money involved and lately there has been. I know we need the money but he seems to be obsessed with making money and now our relationship is suffering. We have grown apart and I just hate when he comes home and tells me he has to go. I don't want to leave him but we do have two kids that are being affected by this as well. We both already work full-time and the time we do have together is spent on our kids. What should I do?

Answer 1

There will ALWAYS be things that get in the way of your relationship. My advice to you is to talk your hubby about how you feel. Make sure you let him know you are proud of him and are so thankful he takes such good care of ya'll financially. See, you are going to need to compromise with him and he with you. You can't control his behavior, especially if he is doing something he thinks is right for his family. So let him know what would make it easier to live with.
I also suggest getting a BABYSITTER for the kids. Don't let your kids take up 100% of ya'lls time. They will be fine with a sitter.

Answer 2

I know how it is -- You constantly feel like you might as well be by yourself. It sucks to look like the single mom at the park or McDonalds on a Saturday afternoon. I try to remember, seasons change, my old man's side jobs are on again/off again. Remember when there's an event you really want to go to or your kids have a 'thing' - Dad is expected to be there; no matter what. So, save the gripes (no offense) it'll pay off when you just gotta put your foot down. Till then, just know you're not the only one...Sorry, I know how lame it gets sometimes. Buy some books & read - even when he gets home ;) give him a turn feeling ignored, or at least think about something else for awhile - be otherwise occupied. You need some attention honey. You could tell him that. Good Luck!

Answer 3

The main thing is he is working hard to support his family - some people don't, so for that you should be grateful.

Is he worried about finances for some reason? Have you sat down together to budget and set goals? What about financial goals, investing for the future, etc? See if you are both together on those issues and work out a plan.

See if he's willing to do a little more to spend time with the family, don't ask too much right off the bat. Stay in touch with phone, etc while you work this out.

I'm pretty independent and always looked forward to having time to do my own things, but everyone is different. Maybe he senses your "neediness," as how he perceives it anyway and that annoys him. Get to the real truth of the matter why he feels so compelled to work so hard. If his heart is in the right place, just tell him you want him to be healthy & not burn out or get hurt. Contracting is very demanding physically and mentally.

Answer 4

Set a rule that one day a week or even weekends only he spends the whole day with you, be glad he's a working man, there are so many lazy husbands out there that dont' care enough to work his *** off to take care of his family and make sure they have everything they want and need. It's great he's a hard worker, you don't want to break his spirit. But he's gota give a little and spend time with you and the kids, then again if you're not getting alog he prolly dosen't want to spend time with you because you're mad all the time, that will drive him away. Sounds like a tuff one! Hopefully you can just talk to him about how you feel and he will realize it's just too much.

Answer 5

First of all do you REALLY need the money? He may just want to provide for his family. Something a lot of men these days have a problem with. I've learned that money does not equal happiness. Keeping the marriage and family together should come first. I'd really dig down deep and see why he feels he has to work so much. Start there and then talk the rest out. He may not realize you feel this way. Good luck!

Answer 6

Sit down and talk with him, You guys need to work something out. You need to cut out a few things to decrease your expenses. When he is home you both need to set up alone time just the two of you. You don't need to go out and spend money. Go for walks together. Send the kids to the grandparents have a romantic evening at home. You would be surprised how much that helps your relation ship. Basically just because you are married with kids does not mean you stop dating. My husband is a truck driver gone for a week at a time home usually only a day or two. We talk at least 2 times a day. When he is gone call him talk about sexy things to him, it will make his home coming great.

Answer 7

You better plan a surprise visit to his out of town job. A little reminder of why he can't wait to get back home! Sounds like he needs a reason to share his goals with you. It really all depends on how the extra money is being spent. Is it securing your families future? And please don't sacrifice your marriage for this without a very good reason. Make some plans together. Set some goals. Work toward them as a team.

Answer 8

the guy is drained. provide him a wreck and you're feeling needy and hormonal through fact you're pregnant. i recognize. i'm precise there with you. Husband working third precise now with extra time. we've a sixteen month old and a 7 year old and that i'm pregnant. it is going to pass. you merely might desire to concentration on the little issues. no longer something like a pinch on the rear or a cuddle while the little one naps to maintain the fires lit. If he says no longer something is incorrect, no longer something is incorrect. go away it at that. He could be under pressure from his 2 jobs and the seen having yet another mouth to feed yet a guy will no longer open up and communicate approximately it. you're merely going to might desire to enable it pass. This too shall pass.

Answer 9

The world deals mostly in wine wealth or women
u r right there should be time for luv luv luv
someone has to make a choice try not working for a few months and give him more attention as u did when u just married .You will say now if i am slapped on one cheek why should I slapped on the right cheek.
Well if u do so with time it will change into a peck that is what the world is about Good luck to u

Answer 10

You want him to work and make the money, but you also want some alone time with him too. One time when he is home, try getting a sitter and just go for a walk somewhere to discuss the issues at hand, tell him how you're feeling. a walk around the block together would really help.