so if you all remember me, i have always asked question about the problems my bf and i were having..look at my recent questions to get an idea.
well the last thing i wrote was about the party and stuff (read the last one) well we would have been 3 years in less than 2 months. he just broke up with me for good yesterday...
he said he isn't giving me another chance to prove that i can be on time and stop fighting about stupid things...because i have said i would stop before..but he kept giving me chances so it go to the point where i couldnt control my actions..he said he is done giving me chances and thats it.
how can he just leave 3 years behind? he has already left billions of comments to other girls on myspace saying how pretty they are and blah blah...and that they are "amazing" he used to think i was..and the day we break up he says that to another girl??
he said he still loves me he just doesnt think i will ever change so he has to let me go.
2006-10-26 07:54:52 · 42 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i told him i would change everything now because i know im losing him for good. he said he will still talk to me..whats the point? if we ever saw and each other as friends how could i not show affection towards him?
it's all i think about 24/7 no matter what i do. i hang out with people..go to work...sit on the computer..but nothing takes my mind off of him. it's a never ending cycle..like im trapped and can't get out...
i said if he sees that i change would he consider giving me another chance..he said no..thats it...
i feel like i want to die...people say there is better out there..or if its meant to be it will happen. blah blah. i cant deal with it..and he even did it over the phone ..not in person. i need to tell him to his face..in his eyes how much i can change.
i cant..deal with this
2006-10-26 07:54:59 · update #1
You answered your own question.
Time to move on.
2006-10-26 07:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, right now you're really upset. You can tell by the length of your question. And it's still new, the breakup I mean. It's still fresh, and it still hurts. What you should do is get a lot of sleep, eat some of your favorite comfort foods infront of the TV and then when you're more level-headed think about the entire situation. He's already moved on. Yes, it was a three year relationship, but it takes mere moments to be attracted to someone and just a few minutes to have cheating thoughts in your head. If he broke up with you for good, then you have to accept it. And you have to be able to get back in the game, but when you're ready. As far as being friends with him, I'd say don't do it. You're absolutely right that you wouldn't be able to hide your affection towards him in a friendly setting. It would be holding you back too though! You have to move on. If things change in the future for both of you then you'll just have to see what happens. But your life isn't over, just your relationship with him. I'm sorry.
2006-10-26 08:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by Ally S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is a two party union and it takes two to give. And it appears he is the one that wanted you to change and he was not even coming half way. So you need to reevaluate this. Especially allowing him to consume your thoughts. Who is in charge of you?? Not him. God has granted you each day to live thus far without the help of your ex. Trust me you will get through this and that talk about wanting to die.. quit saying that .. You do not know how powerful words can be. Do not speak that.
Exhale that is what you need to do.. make it a test for you, a challenge. Make it simple.. say to yourself, I am not going to think about this man for 30 minutes. Pick up a book to take over your thoughts, go for a bike ride with friends, do something physical.. work out, take a jog.. Physical exercise always makes you feel better. That is the problem, your heart is sad. Just remember something. When you go into a relationship, you bring in happiness so when or if the relationship ends, you still have your happiness. Dont look for happiness in another human, you will get disappointed.
Love, I pray that you take heed to one of your answers or see the simularities in all our answers. Life is to short and death will come on its own...
huggz
2006-10-26 08:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ò?à®?á?¦JulieBirdá?¦à®?ϯÒ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can you are a women and women are very strong you will be ok have you ever thought that you two jest weren't made to be together I bet there are 10,000 guys that would do anything to have you so go out there and find your new love of your life so it did work out that happens if you don't stop talking all crazy I will come Thu this computer and give you a real serious taking to so stop all that and move on you can do it I know you can you are pretty ,smart ,funny and jest awesome he doesn't deserve you anyway NOW you will have a wonderfull weekend and next week will be like a new beginning
2006-10-26 08:07:15 · answer #4 · answered by delmonticoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that he is just a habit. Right now, you feel alone and wonder if there will ever be another man. Yes, there will. By the By why should you do all the changing. I'm sure that he has a few little habits that you cannot stand. The fact that he leaves msgs for other girls on myspace for you to read shows that he is immature. Get on with your life. Do something that you want to do but could not do with him. Call your gf and out for dinner. Sign up for a college course or something. Live for yourself and you will someday be happy aga.
2006-10-26 08:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you two are not a good fit. Do not (harder to do than say) take this as a rejection or failure. Really, it is going to be painful and you may feel as though there is nothing more to live for ( a sign of codependency), but having survived a similar relationship, i can promise you, this too shall pass. Since my heart break, from my first love, i have gone on to get a masters degree (now i'm in the ph D program), have a house, a husband and a beautiful 5 yr old daughter. Boy it was a blessing that we parted...You will LIVE and feel JOY aagain. Be patient---explore who you are with out this person. You may find your gifts & talents!
2006-10-26 08:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
~~~~Lisa, I read some of your other postings, and I gotta say that your ex bf is a jerk. The reason is, his little knit picky excuses, are so lame. He's looking for reasons to move on... He isnt accepting or loving you for who you are, and for you to think you have to "change" to suit him is wrong, dont degrade yourself like that. Right now would be the best time for you to exercise some self respect, even though it may hurt like hell, you gotta let him think this whole thing does not bother you!! Get on with life, indulge in friend activities....
The world is not going to come to an end, Ive been where you are right now, and you just gotta keep in mind that if he cant accept you for who you are, then he doesnt deserve you.... Hold that head up, take each day at a time... you will get past it.
2006-10-26 08:04:24 · answer #7 · answered by ~*LILY*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's putting the blame for the breakup on you and you are falling for the lie. He just wants out and he wants you to think it's your fault! You are not solely responsible. There are 2 people in a relationship and 2 people are creating the problems that they have. He's making a sucker out of you! For your own good you need to let that person go. A person shouldn't have to change in order to be loved by someone after 3 years! Either you care for someone or you don't. He's making a fool out of you when in fact he's the one that's the problem! You know he's hitting on other girls but you are still trying to hang with him? Oh please! Let him become someone elses problem. It's over.
2006-10-26 08:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I have been there. You feel like you are going to die, really. There is a time to get through this with crying and being depressed and moping. There is also a time to move on. Get friends around you and as much as you dont want to go out to the park do things that you enjoyed doing before him. I am sorry for what you are going through. Whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Learn from this experience thats what life is about. Good Luck!
2006-10-26 08:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by JUDY M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you should have tried a little harder. I am trying to leave someone like you right now. She too is full of the "I can change" crap! You COULD have changed, but you thought you didnt have to, because he always took you back! Your fault !!
Oh, and if you do kill yourself, you will be reinforcing his point.......that you cant change, because you cant stand up and face the fact that you were wrong! People that talk about suicide dont really want to do it, its just another attempt to get negative attention, which is what you have always done (i.e. arguments about stupid things).
GROW UP! MOVE ON! GET OVER IT!
Change for the better, maybe the next guy will see a better side of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH JESUS< I see all of these women on her saying "dont change for anyone"! If your actions are negative and cause problems, why not change them???? Ladies, never wonder why you are single or your relationships dont work out! I LOVE women, and love to treat them like goddesses, but I cannot stand when ignorant comments like "dont change for anyone" are thrown around ! If she likes to argue over stupid things, why not fix it.
NOW, I am not condoning his dumbass actions on myspace (that site is nothing but a free-for-all hump fest for kids), but if that was something he did that she didnt like, she should have left long ago.
2006-10-26 08:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can deal with this - just back off - i know you feel abandoned now - but after time you will realize it really wasnt so bad - sounds like even though you have been with him for 3 yrs you never really connected if you fault about little things....and you are not the only one who would need to change for it to work...let him go - no other explanation needed - it will hurt him more and make him think about you more if you simply leave him alone...if he was saying nice things to other girls after you broke up - he may have been doing that all along so maybe he wasnt the one for you after all.....you are obviously young and have plenty of time to find a better guy - happy hunting....let him know thru friends you are not just waiting on him and dont ever change who you are for a man...it will never work....
2006-10-26 08:07:07 · answer #11 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋