So my b/f and I have been together over a year, and we talk about marriage,BUT he wont propose bc he wants to save money ( not for the wedding) I cant seem to get him to understand that where we are now is the best we have ever been and that we should move forward with the next phase. How am I supposed to deal with this cautious, woosy attitude?
2006-10-26 07:46:03 · 9 answers · asked by Beth W 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
First question is does your boyfriend want to get married? If not, time to bail ship on that one.....
If so, then ask him what he wants before it happens, does he have financial goals to complete? Do you want to own a house before tying the knot? Find this out from him and start working towards those goals!
Sounds like your man has the "why buy the cow, when I can get the milk for free" attitude. You need some serious talking to do so that you both know that you are heading in the same direction (again, if he isn't going the same path as you, you need to exit this relationship so that you can find what you are looking for.
Good luck
2006-10-26 07:51:05 · answer #1 · answered by brian c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is a man's job in a marriage traditionally? To take care of the wife. Financially first and foremost. Maybe he wants to save up enough money that he feels comfortable with himself as a husband? Maybe it's his own insecurities that are holding him back. Maybe, if you've only been together a year, it's not such a bad thing to wait anyway? There are a lot more things that you can learn about each other by waiting. Marriage is a legal expensive thing to reverse, don't rush it so much. Just because "society" says you are supposed to get married now, it doesn't mean you have to rush it.
2006-10-26 07:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by Allycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy each other and don't rush into marriage. You will only end up wanting to get pregnant (the next phase after marriage) and then after 9 months of discomfort and pain, you will end up with a screaming, sucking, poop-machine that will only grow up to hate you anyway. It's not like there aren't enough women out there spitting out kids like we actually need them and as long as some of the more bonehead religions are having a contest to out-breed each other, you might as well help Humanity and not have any at all. So why get married ever?
2006-10-26 07:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have always been slow to take the hint. You should start asking him what would be different if you were married. Once you two talk about it, you might find there isn’t a lot of difference. Then it becomes just going through the motions for him.
See, you think that is the ‘next step’ in a relationship. Guys look at it as responsibility and have very little insight that it is the next step in a relationship.
2006-10-26 07:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by Raylene G. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be time to move on, kid. Perhaps he thinks marriage will ruin a good friendship. He's wrong, of course, if he does think this but it is something to talk to him about.
2006-10-26 07:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by Lonnie P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cautiously. I think if you love him you will be patient. He's obviously not ready. If you are ready and he is not willing to even set a date then maybe it's time to move on. You cannot and should not ignore your readiness. Have a lovely day.
2006-10-26 07:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to get married to you.
Sorry, but that's the case. He is just stalling and making excuses.
Tell him that you really want to do this but if he doesn't then it is time for you to "go to the next phase" and move on.
A
2006-10-26 07:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by Alan 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There should be no rush. Besides, maybe he's not the marrying type.
2006-10-26 07:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by will 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BEWARE THE PHANTOM GHOST HAS ARRIVED
HE BROUGHT YOU A YUMMY TREAT
HANG HIM ON YOUR DOOR AND PASS HIM DOWN THE STREET BOO
2006-10-26 08:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by Tedd m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋