ok, i have asked this question about 2 months ago but its back up again. i have now been with my boyfriend for 6 months (I"m 26) and i do love him , he makes me happier then any man ever has . but i am uncomfortable with the fact that he still talks all the time to one of his exgirlfriends . she and him are supposed to be such good friends but of all his friends i only met ehr once for 5 minutes . and they had sex a few times after they broke up, the last time they did it was about a little over a year ago,\(while she was with the man she is with now)and this is the only thing that we argue about , cause no matter how much i try i'm not cool with it. we are talking about it today, i feel like maybe i should break up with him if i cant accept this but at the same time , its gonna hurt soooo bad. i really let myself get attached to him, what should i do?oh and i just wanted to add that they never see eachother just tlak on the phone almost every day .( well as far as i know)
2006-10-26 07:11:27 · 8 answers · asked by LISA M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm not going to say that you should leave him but maybe you should try and get to know her so that you can feel her out and see who you're dealing with. Have you told this man how you feel about this thing he has going on with this friend, have you explained to him how uncomfortable their so called platonic friendship makes you feel, and if all that shi* doesn't work honey let it go.
2006-10-26 10:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by T.T. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get this question every week in my column, so i'll give you the same answer i give every week.
He will eventually say something like, "i'm looking for closure" or "it was such a difficult period for me, and there is history there", which all amounts to total CRAP.
Men and women cannot get over their ex's for some reason. And when they do not, it leads to bad results for the relationships they are in. I tell people, seriously, they need at least a year away from dating before dating again.
Seriously, will someone please follow my advice, for once?
Tell him you are giving him his time and space to make the decision that is best for both of you. Let him decide on whether he really needs closure at the expense of losing you. If you choose to take him back afterwards, if you even get so much as a psychic sense he is talking to his ex again, drop him like a bad habit. It's not fair to you or his ex, regardless of how much of a raging whore she might be…
Throw him back to the sharks; if he swims back with only minor scrapes, he might be worth throwing down with later.
But probably not. Yeah, time to let this one go.
Wish you luck!
2006-10-26 14:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by diagofaldi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very interesting. If you ae uncomfortable with it that much he should understand this. What is more important here that he is going to lose you because of this or he is going to cut ties with the ex. You should be more important, your the one who is always around putting up with the rises and falls of your relationship. I can bet you from experience, they probably talk about you and her man. He talks to her about you she talks to him about her boyfriend. I don't want to say women and men can't be friends there is always some feeling there, but it seems shady to me. He knows this upsets you but he still does it, and the catch is if he says he won't do it anymore, he will probably just do it behind your back. So do you want the stress, do you want to know if he's talking to her, do you want him to lie and tell you he is not. These are things only you can answer. If it was me in your shoes, i would be totally uncomfortable with it and it would eventually ruin our relationship. Talking on the phone everyday thats a bit extreme, for gosh sakes they are BROKE-UP hellllloooo. he does not need to talk to her everyday. Nope not me i wouldn't tolerate it. If it bugs you that much he should stop. They talk everyday...wow they should just get back together. It sounds like more than just conversation if they talk everyday...sorry girl.
2006-10-26 14:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by dmgoldsbo7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how coincidential i am too 26 i am married and i have a daughter by this man of which we were never married but dated for four years he calls here several times and always tries to be in my presence and is merely crazy over me and it does and has upset my husband and you should feel the way you are becuase i contact my ex due to the fact of my daughters well being etc...but once you end a relationship it should be over for good whereas when a child is involved there is a certain extent to where the parents have to communicate..good luck girl
2006-10-26 14:17:37 · answer #4 · answered by livinglifewithgod 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have 3 options:
1. Ignore it and get over it and accept that he still enjoys the company of his "other" girlfriend (she doesn't sound like an ex if they talk every day. I don't even talk to my mom everyday!)
2. Nag, cry, complain, whine, argue, fight and feel like crap every day because of it, and probably wonder if he's sleeping with her.
3. End it with him and find someone who is willing to respect your feelings, and is emotionally free of his former lovers.
Decide which situation is going to hurt less over the next 6 months. It's your life- choose wisely who you want to share it with.
2006-10-26 14:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a past? Good luck finding a man that doesn't. If you tell him he can't talk to her, he's either going to resent you for it or lie about it. This is your issue and your insecurity. You either trust him or you don't. GET OVER IT or walk away. If you push it too much, it'll end up just blowing up in your face. This is totally your issue, not his.
2006-10-26 14:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should tell them how u feel and that is nasty if i was u i would tell him that is over wit ur man and get with some one esle that wants u 4 u and just let them be wit each other, so u should date some one esle and then sleep wit them wit ur new man and then he can get mad and then yall can break ^ and then u can be happier wit ur new man. do him da same way he does u
2006-10-26 14:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never accept this relationsgip that they they have, so you might as well break it off now instead of later
2006-10-26 15:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Blackdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋