Myh usband and i were married in 1993, lasted married 10days short of our 3rd anniv. got divorced (because he cheated with my cousin that was also his sister-in-law) we got back together in 1997(what can i say the sex was wonderrful) we have been living together as husband and wife since "97" but have never remarried. I want to get married by the church (which we can't cause he was married in Mexico)but is divored from her but he needed to get thst anulled for us to get married by the church. I have stood by this man since "93", have done paper work to get his green card(in95), then after the divore did paper work so he could get his disablity (lower back injury), which he has gotten (also the green card), NOW I want HIM to do the paper work to get his marriage anulled and he tells me for me to do it!!, He wants it and is willing to sign BUT I have to do the [paper work, I don't feel like i should since I wasn't married to her! But he has told me that it either I do it, or let go of it
2006-10-26 07:01:40 · 16 answers · asked by MOLLY G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like your in it for the sex most of all and that ain't enough.I'm a dude and I have always said good sex is no reason to put up with total bull**** ,he's definitely not the best sex you could have and that will come when you find someone who wants to be with you as much as you do with him.Wasting time is what you ARE DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-26 10:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by sjwest74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think perhaps he as already given you the answer!
It sounds like you care enough for him to marry , but since he seems to have all he needs with you THERE without the benefit of marriage, why should HE bother?
There seems to be nothing in it for him!
YOU are the wedding- wanter!
I could agree with you and say go on your way... but
rather in this case I'd say, either you pick your battles and decide if this is a dealbreaker, or do the paperwork, marry him and maybe you have a shot at living happily ever after.
I had to start over after 22 years of a married investment, and had to decide to cut bait and go on my way down life's path, so I do know that it is possible to do it. It was anything but easy, I promise you that, and am still in the struggle...but I needed a shot in life at finding someone who was going to be interested in being HAPPY WITH me and not dedicated to just WORK and more WORK and NO time for ME...
Tough call, but I made my choice, and I wish you good luck with yours, I hope you Know what you want, dear.
That is the first step!
God Bless-
HE is watching your steps, ask HIM what to do!
YOU might be surprised!
HE wants you to be happy, too!
2006-10-26 07:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So then, if you want him THAT badly, you have some more paperwork to do. Seems like you two have been through alot together already.
Regardless of other's opinions or what they will or won't stand for, you have stood by him, and got back together after he messed up. So you do one of two things. You either get married in Vegas, or get a less strict religious official to perform the marriage. OR you get those papers together and ready for your boyfriend/exhusband/husband-to-be to sign.
You've done so much already, what is a little more gonna hurt if you want him THAT bad?
2006-10-26 07:11:10 · answer #3 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Molly, I don't mean to be cruel, but you have a problem here and I think you already know it. I'm also sorry to say that I think your life is going nowhere. If you want to live with this man and have great sex and that does it for you, then I wish you all the best. If you want someone to settle down with, I don't think this guy is the one. Reading between the lines here, he's been using you. You deserve better than this. God bless.
2006-10-26 07:07:33 · answer #4 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, if you want to get married by the churhc and he was nopt married in the u.s. in a church and now you want to, you still can. because he was married inanother country. if he is stalling because it seems that you always do everything and he jsut agrees to it, then why not get married in a church of all religious backgrounds. non-dimision church. all large cities have them. methodist churchs are like this too.
my question to you is this, do u have children together? why are you so eger to get married because if you are living together and everything is fine with you guys, and you were married to this guy once and it did not work out, you need to one : reflex why you got dfivorced int he first place. 2. make sure this is what you both want. because him giving you the excuse that he wants you to handle his ****, hey wake up, it is his **** afterall. let him be a man, and do it hisself.
also you know you pay more taxes and get less tax brakes if you get married and life married instead of filing single.
2006-10-26 07:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by lasalle_1986 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now if he doesnt understand how to do the paperwork is one thing, but it seems to me that you are the only person working for this relationship. I wouldnt just leave, but i would seriously sit down and have a talk with him. It seems to be a big misunderstanding here. Talk with him first and if he is not serious about keeping this relationship, then just walk away. Goodluck
2006-10-26 07:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by Kimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you know after so long, (more than 10 years!), it looks like all he has been doing is taking advantage of you... You have been doing all the work, and he even gets to cheat on you with YOUR cousin!!??? Girl, its time to go, doesn't matter how long you have been with him... would a slave leave their owner after many long years of service? Of course they would to better themselves, or they would stay if there was payment (for you, help). If you stay, you will continue to LET YOURSELF do all the work while he does NOTHING... except for good sex.
2006-10-26 07:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by NestleGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have done paperwork for him before over and over again so he just expects you to do it. If you want to get married in the church so bad just do it.
2006-10-26 07:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just letting this jerk get away with too much. Move on..chaulk it up as a life lesson.
2006-10-26 07:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by awhti2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is either you do it or let go of it, what part of that do you not understand?
2006-10-26 07:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋