my really great guy friend is married and though i like his wife he is constantly telling me that during their 15 years of marriage she has had numerous affairs - -he is no angel himself -- they have two kids
the problem is he just returned home from Iraq he is an officer in the military and the entire time he has been gone she has been seeing another man also an officer in the military (who I might had she was seeing years ago he just happened to move to the same place right before her husband left)
she is acting as if nothing happened even though i know she talks to this guy all the time who is also married but his wife lives in another city/state for now -- and she (my friend) is still finding time to meet up with and have sex with this man whom she says she cares about but has no intentions of leaving her husband
she says she is going to end it with this guy but i don't believe her i feel caught in the middle
2006-10-26 06:46:02 · 15 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't get into the middle of it. They will probably stay together and you would be the bad guy or they will break up and you would be the bad guy. Either case you don't win. Get the picture. Just be kind to both. Its their marriage. Maybe they will work it out.
2006-10-26 06:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by smile4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not up to you or anyone on answers to say if this guy should leave is wife or not.... You can be supportive of him and tell him you are there for him if he decides to leave her but this sort of thing happens numerous times daily... If I were you I'd tell both of them to grow up and I would just stay away from the dramatic situation that they are accostume to... tell them you'd rather not see their marriage and the freiendshipt with them fall apart and untill they can work their problems out your off limits and the friendship is on hold... They might not really care but then again it might make them see things differently...Talk to them both!
2006-10-26 14:02:18 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in the middle is a horrid feeling. I would say that her husband knows what is going on, no doubts by your post. This is their marriage, let them work on it, work it out, or seperate all on their own. The middle man always gets caught in the middle and eventually finds themselves being blamed by the wrong doings in their "friends" marriage to each other. I say stay out of it, refuse to talk about it to either one of them, and let them both know that this is their personal business and as their friend you want no part of any of it at all. For your sake and the sake of your friendship. Besides, this is a personal matter between the couple, and the couple only. BLessed be.......................................I know you want to help, but sometimes, help can't be had. Sometimes couples have to work on it, and figure it out for themselves.
2006-10-26 13:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to LEAVE. Show some dignity. Anybody (whether male or female) who cheats is worth leaving. Take the kids too (if any). Be brave enough to say that that the relationship was not successful, and don't waste anyone's time. It's not healthy (esp. for the children). Love is a decision to STAY and COMMIT.
2006-10-26 13:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by thomas 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're NOT caught in the middle... MYOB, they are all adults, and will sort it out in time. Your guy friend made a choice to marry this woman, and he's making a choice to stay with her. People make choices every day, this is the name of the game. End of story.
2006-10-26 13:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be stupid. Stay out of it. Its none of your concern. What? You think you're being a real pal by getting involved? You go ahead. Watch what happens. They'll both turn on you and smear your name and reputation all over the place. I mean it. That's exactly the way it happens.
If you aren't screwing him or her....keep your distance. When it comes to a head...and it will...you'll be glad that you weren't involved.
2006-10-26 13:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So.. you DO understand that if either of these guys get caught cheating that their military career is in jeopardy?
Why would you want to get into the middle of that?
Run away!!!!! now!!!!!! and don't tell another soul about what is going on!!!!
2006-10-26 13:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a marriage! They're obviously not happy with each other - if they can be civil for the sake of their kids, divorce may be the best option.
2006-10-26 13:49:09 · answer #8 · answered by rohmhita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be a friend to both of them but stay out of their marriage even if they try to pull you in it.Just be there for them but don't even talk to them about their marriage problems its not your place they should work it out on thier own.
2006-10-26 14:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is way to much over you head, get out of it and stay out of it, there is nothing you can do to help
2006-10-26 13:52:07 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋