Im starting to fall for this guy who's my friend. we belong to the same circle of friends so we do see each other when there are gatherings. He does like me too but only shy to confess his feelings (heard from a friend he said he's scared to break our friendship if we become lovers) Also, last month his dad phoned him to say that he's already got a kid back from our country(we're both foreigners working in London) and it was a result of one night stand he had 4 years back - thing he never knew until last month. The other woman is now a lawyer back home and she does not intend to chase for my friend for any support or anything - she just wanted my friend to know. Im really falling for this guy but it scares me to love him even more because of the fact that I'm scared one day this will cause troubles to me and perhaps to our future kids. Im trying to get rid of him from my mind and my heart. Do you think this is correct? Anyone from the same situation? How is it marrying a guy like this?
2006-10-26 06:44:56 · 9 answers · asked by alet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So what, he has a kid.
2006-10-26 06:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kid shouldn't be a part of the equation but that he might have a bond with the child at some point and time. You need to decide how you feel about him and you might want to let him decide how he feels about you.......You haven't even had a date yet and you're already worried about marrying him? Slow down a bit and see if you are compatable enough to make it to date one. At this point, you have nothing more than a friendship and someone telling you that he likes you. How can you fall for someone you haven't even had one intimate moment with? That isn't anything more than infactuation and a crush..........
2006-10-26 14:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by fedupwithu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have financial obligations to care for a baby until they are 18, if he makes tons of money that it ok, or if you can accept this and his responsibility to the other child and keeping in touch with the mom. how could you do in that kind of situatuation, my son married a girl with 4 kids different dads and (the kids) all live with them,he is a wonderful dad, so he is doing well in the situation.
2006-10-26 13:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run!! This lawyer lady wants him for other reasons and you will be the marrying into a lot of drama. I suspect she found out he was getting serious with someone else and decided to share this information. Perhaps his father does not approve of you and chose this moment to drop the bomb. If he is worth the drama, then go for it.
2006-10-26 13:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you tell your mind something, your heart will overbear it at times. You should follow your heart and see where it leads you. Just because he found out he has a kid shouldn't stop you from being with him. What if you were in his shoes? Give the guy a chance.
2006-10-26 13:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't waste another thought on that. Decide if you really like this guy enough to DATE him even. Lots of guys have unwed kids, its probably not that unusual. It doesn't say much about him either way and it doesn't sound like it'll have any impact in your future.
On the other hand, you might want to make sure you are keeping up on your birth control first! Lol.
2006-10-26 13:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by thehiddenangle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all have a past..wether good or bad. Just because he fathered a child four years ago is no reason to give him up. I do not see any problems in the future because of this. Give him a break!
2006-10-26 13:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're judging him too harshly from something that happened four years ago. perhaps you should stay away from him. i hope he does the right thing and propose to the other woman.
2006-10-26 13:53:42 · answer #8 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone makes a mistake every now and then! it should depend on how well he has been taking care of your needs and wants!
2006-10-26 14:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋