Do you hug your husband in the middle of the night?

Question

For the last several weeks, my husband keeps telling me I don't hug him in the middle of the night. He has always been good about hugging me and usually when he turns over, he'll wrap his arms around me. I sleep as if I'm in a coma and maybe throw my arm around him once for about 5 minutes. It wasn't a big deal before but now he's mentioning it every day. He says that maybe I really don't care about him. His mom passed away a month ago and we've been married a year. Our relationship is strong and happy - so what's going on?

I'm 28, he's 36.

Answer 1

His Mom passed, he is feeling a little lost. Before you go to sleep, hug him, if he goes to sleep before you, hug him. It sounds like he needs the human touch right now to comfort him through this time.

Answer 2

If I happen to wake up, sometimes I will hug him for a bit, but we can't sleep that way, so I eventually move away a little. He does the same. We are both light sleepers. If you sleep like you're "in a coma", there isn't much you can do to change that. I can understand that he is going through a difficult time because his mother passed away, but he needs to understand that you simply can't change the way you sleep. He is being unreasonable because he is grieving...just be patient and be there for him. Hug him as much as you can while you're awake.

Answer 3

So hug him.

I wish my wife would initiate things once in a while. I'm not even talking about sex, just plain cuddling. I'm married 15 years, I don't need to have sex all the time. If you're over 40 you know what I mean.

Once in a while a little neck rub or hold my hand. That would be nice.

Ladies, hug your man tonight and be glad he's home.

Answer 4

No, I don't hug my husband in the middle of the night. I rarely even 'cuddle'. He claims I'm not like 'most women', but recently in a women's group I attend, one woman said she doesn't like to cuddle in bed. She stated that to her, a bed is for sleeping. Period. It was interesting, because the group was split about 50/50 - some envied those of us who had husbands who wanted to snuggle, and the rest of us longed for a spouse who would just let us sleep when we want to sleep!
Maybe he's feeling his loss of his mother in many areas, and when you don't 'hug him' then he's worrying he might be losing you, too. Just be there for him, see if he'll talk, and if it persists much longer perhaps he should see a grief counselor.
Sweet dreams!

Answer 5

Once I fall asleep I'm dead to the world. I can't think of one time that I've ever woken up just to hug my husband in the middle of the night.

It sounds to me like this hugging problem is just the surface of a bigger problem. Talk to your husband about it...maybe he's just sad because of his mother passing away and he needs some extra love. Or maybe it is something else...ask him.

Answer 6

He is telling you in his own way that he needs you and is afraid of losing you. My husband and I have been through some recent difficulties. I used to not hug him so much in bed but now I do it every single chance I get. Life's too short. Give him some love. Make it a point to remember. It's important to him.

Answer 7

I don't see where hugging him in your sleep would be an indication of your love, maybe he's just insecure about his mom's death. You're the only woman that is left in his life. Embrace him as much as you can, and is should pass.

Answer 8

I find that I "look" for him in the night. I always am touching in some way, but when I wake a little, I go searching for his warmth and scent and then snuggle in. Is that a hug?

Answer 9

I cannot sleep with my husband holding me. I bet he's feeling anxious over the loss of his mom. Try hugging him and holding him more during the day.

Answer 10

Give your man some affection before somone else does.