How can i get myself, my finances, everything together after my husband disappearing literally and divorcing me...and he started contacting me after the divorce, being raped, being in 2 bad relationships, not having really anybody except 1 parent to count on, being poor...yet im educated...attractive, NICE and am about to move to a new bigger city...i just feel totally lost and alone...and ps is everyone in the world mean and nasty...do i have to be that way to get anywhere...everyone just freakin walks all over me
2006-10-26 06:42:48 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was 23 going on 24 felling some of what your feeling. I had to drop out of a good school in Mass. (its a long story) and was back in Charlotte NC walking across a field thinking about suicide. I've had to learn the hard way that the only person you can count on is your self. Also its self defeating to look at others and what they have accomplished at a certain age. You can do everything right, get a four year degree at MIT and die in a car wreck on the way to your first real career job. Not everyone is mean and nasty, focus on the good ones. Maybe the Navy would be a good way out of where you are, you would probably
score high enough to get training for medical or electrical schooling and you get to travel. If you need a friend, you have one here.
2006-10-26 07:00:16 · answer #1 · answered by Kris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a social problem that you should really talk with a therapist about. I have the same problem - it's not in the people around us, it's in us and the way we choose what people we want to be around us.
Only being 24 (you and I are the same age) you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to work on it. Don't just choose the first guy that comes along - be picky about it. I did the "pick the first guy" thing for a long time and it just doesn't work. That's how you find people that walk all over you. My situation is a little different in that my family is pretty wealthy - so a lot of people chose to by my friend or bf based soley on that. You have the power to change youself for the better - get out, live by yourself for a while and just learn about yourself and what YOU like and what works for YOU.
I wish you all the luck in the world - you can email me if you need someone to talk to.
2006-10-26 13:46:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Ok. Give the husband the divorce and ask him to not contact you anymore. Go to counseling to discuss this and the rape. Do not date ANYONE for the next 2 years. Just trust me on that one. When you get to this new city, I want you to stand outside in front of your new home and say out loud "This is my fresh start and things will be better here!" Then maintain this attitude and things will get better. You'll find a great job and you'll have time to grow out of this bad luck!
I'm 25 and have a job that bores me, no money to go anywhere but a fantastic boyfriend. Sometimes you have to just give everything time and wait for it to begin to heal!
2006-10-26 13:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep looking and you will find a true good friend. No everyone is not nasty and bad, you just have to shift thru the bad ones to find a good one. Good luck.
2006-10-26 13:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are your passions? Hobbies? Find small groups of people who you have something in common with you. You would be surprised how secure you will feel with people who are more like you.
2006-10-26 13:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋