What is it like going to a gay bar for the first time?

Answer 1

For me it was scary. I was 18. I drove into NYC, to the VILLAGE...OOOOOH. I walked on Christopher Street and stopped at this shop where they had displayed what I thought, at the time, were leather wristbands with studs on them. So I bought the damn ********, put it on my wrist thinking it was a wristband, and walked right over to a bar called "Boots and Saddle" which is a leather bar(I had no idea at the time what a leather bar was). It lasted all of 15 minutes that I was there. I had all these guys approaching me, and it was so intimidating at the time I just got up and left!

So there's my very first experience. I'll never forget it.

Answer 2

The first thing you notice is the 'eye contact.' Unlike other situations in life, guys stare you in the eyes a great deal more when you're in a gay bar.

The second thing you notice is the wide variety of different types of men, at least at the average 'non theme' gay bar. If you're new to gay bars, you notice that the guys are young and old, of all different colors, some stereotypical, some not at all.

Not all gay bars are the same. Some are themed and your experience greatly depends on the day of the week, and which area and state you're in as to what you might expect in terms of local variety, music and events that might be happening.

If you're young (18-21) you might try to find a theme night at a popular club which caters to the 18+ crowd to find people in your age group. Even some normally straight clubs have gay theme nights for younger guys.

Try not to drink too much your first time though. Drinking a little is ok, to get over the initial nervousness you're bound to feel, but too much and you'll regret it in the morning.

Try to go with a friend, even a cool straight one, which will help you. If you go alone, find a group you like and be bold and introduce yourself. Tell them its your 'first time' and they will laugh and make you feel welcome.

Answer 3

When I first went, I felt very apprehensive. I had just come out and I didn't know what it would be like, but some friends wanted to take me. After we went in, I felt as if everybody else was looking at me, but I also couldn't help but look at everyone else too and thinking "OMG, I had no idea there were this many gay people living here". My friends asked me what kind of guy I liked and to point out someone that I thought was cute. After I pointed someone out, one friend told me to go talk to him. I was so nervous, I said I couldn't. My friend then said if I didn't go talk to him that they would go talk to him and tell him that I thought he was hot. I ended up talking to him :) If it weren't for my friend I probably would have just stood along a wall and looked around, but I got the confidence I needed and have gone back to that bar (and others) many times since.

Answer 4

I was scared. I went with my best friend - he had already been 'out' for a few years....but I was in the military and had only come out recently. He took me to a leather bar and I got all nervous and ordered white wine (I was not an experienced drinker). The bartender laughed and gave me a beer. I remember seeing two guys kissing and thinking the place would be raided or something. But before too long I loosened up and started having a good time.

Answer 5

I had a blast, you should definitely go. I'm going tomorrow night after a halloween party. I'm dressing up as a chipndale dancer lol so I think I'm probably going to have even more fun than I did last week. It was a little awkward at first but once I got a few drinks in me and started to loosen up and dance I had a really good time. And the drag show! It was just too much fun, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night.

Answer 6

I came out when I was 32 years old. I was able to find a friend to takeme to the gay bar for the first time. He said he would intorduce me to some guys, and at least I could have someone to talk to that way. I highly suggest going with someone the first time. I walked into this dark bar, gogo boys dance, lots of hot guys with thier shirts of dancing, drinking, smoking. I felt every eye was on me, which it was. It is a unique experience. I wanted to run out, but my friend took me to the bar, we order some shots. after that and a drink I was relaxed, out dancing (shirt off) and just really feeling like I belonged for the first time in my life.

Answer 7

It's been MY experience that the people in most-not all- gay bars are friendley. They will make a point of walking up to you and starting a conversation, But more so the men than the women.

Answer 8

I was terrified. But I just sorta stood against a wall...being a real wallflower and pretty soon people were coming up and talking to me and I had a great time.....I'm a lot older than you are...but it blew me away that there were so many gay men in the world (and it was a small bar) LOL.

Answer 9

I suspect that there is a long counter with stools allowing you to sit at the counter, probably some tables around, maybe some music playing, probably a little smokey depending on where you are, and men everywhere, and since its your first time they will all be looking at you.

Answer 10

i HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE, IT WAS A BLAST. Just go knowing that you are not hookin up with anyone.. What I do know is that you need to get to know people before you take the psycho home. You don't want to get mixed up in the wrong crowd... Take time and make friends.. have fun and don't drink and drive