My wife and I just had a beatiful baby and both our families are understandably very excited. My mother lives a distance away and wants to come see her grand child, which I have no problem with, however, she wants to come over and stay with us for 4 weeks! I am dreading this, because her and my wife have never really interacted and do not know each other well. My wife doe not wnat her there for 4 weeks because she says she will be uncomfortable. How can I resolve this issue, because I think it is just too long of a stay.
2006-10-26 06:23:08 · 26 answers · asked by answerhog 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This a great opportunity for you all if you let it be one. Your wife can become better friends with your mom and vise versa if all would cooperate. In addition, your wife could use some help right now couldn't she? Are you both eager to lose sleep at night feeding and changing the baby?? Does your wife want to be tied to the house for a year or so?? Let grandma watch the baby so mom can go somewhere for a break from the chores. This is a good time for you all to bond together. Besides grandparents always want to be near their grand kids and spoil them. Are you wanting to mess that up?? Sit down with your wife before your mom gets there and show her the advantages of having your mom there.
If there is still a problem with having your mom there for a month, then split it it up. Have her there for 2 weeks now and 2 weeks at a later time when she might be needed more.
What about your wife's mom? Is she not interested in seeing and helping with the baby? If she is, work out an alternative plan where one mom is there and then switches with the other and then switches again, etc.
The first year raising the baby is going to be tough on your wife and you. Both of you should be very happy to get support from either side of your family, since there are families that have none from any of their relatives. Don't toss help aside like you don't need it. Accept any and all help from everyone.
2006-10-26 06:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your mother really so bad ? She wants to see her grand-child, and probably won't get over too often, hence the 4 week stay. It would be a good chance for your mom and wife to finally get to know one another. I think your wife should accept the visit and help. I don't see how your wife would feel "un-comfortable". It's her home, and her time will be spent looking after the baby. Do your wife's family live near ? If they live a distance away, and if you really don't want your mom to stay 4 weeks, ask her to stay 2, and say your wife's family need to stay the other 2 weeks
2006-10-26 06:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well think of it this way.. it is going to be a good time for your wife to get some rest . and get to know your mother. it is a good thing reallly .. they do need to get to know each other so that you can have your mom over more often with out dreading it so much.. 4 weeks is a little bit long but try to suffer through it because it don't happen to often..
Are you saying it is to long of a visit because of your wife or are you saying it because you really think it is to long.. If it is because of yourself then you have to talk to your mom when she arrives and if there starts to be any conflict you are going to have to tell her to leave for your wife and babys sake and come back at another time..
don't be selfish.. she does want to see the new baby too..
Give your wife a chance to get to know her.. then decide the length of time that you are going to let her stay , after all it is your house and your family..
2006-10-26 06:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree that four weeks sounds like a long time but unless she is completely demeaning and cruel to your wife, I think you should appreciate the time that she is willing to spend with you and your new baby! Maybe four weeks would give her and your wife time to bond a little more and she certainly will have a great time watching the baby if you want to take your wife out for a few hours for a date night or if you both need to get out and run errands. I know as a Mom that I just love spending time near my adult children....I do not want to be in the way, but I cherish each moment I get to spend with them!
God Bless...and remember, it's all in the attitude!
2006-10-26 06:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since its your mom the task at hand falls on you. You dont want to put your wife in the delicate position of making your whole future encounters filled with tension. You must explain to your mom very nicely that MOM, when you had me the *LAST* thing you wanted to do was share me with anyone, even DAD was almost off that list, and my wife and I want to have you, but not for the amount of time you are panning on, and that would be a strain with a grumpy, sleep-deprived son, daughter-in-law, and BABY as well, in some cases! My wife and I would love to have you, but we need to compromise cause with my wife being hormal after the birth and getting used to the new little personality and new schedule, we will need that family time alone to adjust. It is a simple as that, and let your own heart speak to your mom, she loves you and that new little one that she has waited for since you were like, 4 years old, lol. Just tell her with as much compassion as you can and PROMISE her that she will get lots and lots of babysitting time with the baby in a few weeks, and ask your wife to phone her afterwards and tell her how thankful she is for YOU, and that because of her she enabled HER to be a mommy and with such a grounded and balanced hubby, and what a great job she did with you, and could she offer her some pointers in the future. Also tell her to STRESS the fact that she *WILL* be called on to babysit, etc, and theat in a few months she will be begging us to stop calling for advice, :) WILL TICKLE HER PINK.....
2006-10-26 06:31:14 · answer #5 · answered by cricketwinner@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to talk to your mother and tell her that 4 weeks is too long. People get stressed when they have guests for more than 3 days. Having a new baby is stressfull in and of itself without having guests. Tell her that she can stay for 2 days and make those days the best you can for her to interact with her new grandchild. If she wants to come back at another time then that is fine but 4 weeks is way too long!
2006-10-26 06:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Patti T 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my mother passed away 6 years ago and i would love for her to come for a visit now and see my babies i know it would probably be hard for your wife but i would just really think about letting her come for the four weeks man you never know if that will be the last time you ever see your mom again my mother wasnt sick or anything my stepdad feed her some pills one night and the next she was dead he had another woman on the side we found out about the day before burying my mother , i know your mom lives far away so i would at least consider your wife should be thankful to have a mother in law (grandmother) for her baby alive mine dont have one at all and i wish they did i hate having to answer their question of why dont they have grandmaw here so good luck and like i said its only for 4 weeks not a life time and who knows it might be the best time of all of yours life
2006-10-26 06:28:53 · answer #7 · answered by att_i_tude2006 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
New Zealand is beautiful this time of year. But seriosly, you need to tell your mom the way you and your wife feel about this. If you don't set your boundrys now, it only gets harder. It is always best to honnor your wife's wishes she is the one you made an oath to. Your mother will probably understand, ther is a new baby involved. Congratulation on the new arrival.
2006-10-26 06:31:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-28 05:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by shiner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! The best way to handle this situation is ask your mother to stay in a hotel. You and your wife should discuss the arrangements with the paying of her stay unless she doesn't mind paying herself. But 4 weeks is quit a while to visit. I hope I resolved your problem.
2006-10-26 06:31:35 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋