I'd like your opinion on this....I've seen kids break down after finding out Father Christmas isn't real and my question is this...why would we tell a lie to our children that will break their hearts when they discover it isn't true? We will teach her not to tell other children, but we will be teaching her that Father Christmas is not real. Surely they don't need to believe in him to have a good Christmas??
2006-10-26 06:22:03 · 53 answers · asked by Resolution 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
A lot of you are telling me I should tell her the truth when she can handle it...but if I don't lie to her in the first place, why would she not be able to handle it?? And in answer to some of your questions, yes I will be teaching her the real meaning of Christmas!
2006-10-26 07:38:35 · update #1
Some of you ahve made valid points however, some of you are saying it'll spoil Christmas for them>> Christmas, is about the birth of Christ, and sharing good will with all men! She will still get presents, maybe she'll appreciate them more, if she knows they didn't come out of a magic sack, but that we took the time to think about what she wants!?? You don't have to believe in Father Christmas to have a good Christmas, she will be surrounded by a family that loves her and spoils her rotten, and she will have a cracking Christmas dinner, what can be better than that!?!?
2006-10-26 07:45:14 · update #2
I applaud you on your decision.....this is the most refreshing statement I have seen here for a long time....if possible the midnight service is well worth going to and I'm not especially religious..your daughter is very lucky having such a forward, free thinking mum....hope you have a wonderful Christmas ! its so sad when everyone relates Christmas to presents, spending goes out of control and no-one has a grasp on reality...well done !
2006-10-26 10:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
personally, i dont know of any children that took it all that bad. I know that I'm 20 years old and my parents never really sat me down and said "santa is real and he brings you presants" it was something that just happened but by the time i was about 6, i had a 2 year old brother and I knew without anyone telling me that Santa wasn't real. Even when i KNEW he wasnt real, i would just pretend and let my imagination run with it for those few hours on christmas eve. It adds something kind of magical to the whole christmas feeling and as a little kid, that's the most important. You know its probably not real but you don't wanna SAY you know because its kind of fun to live in the moment. Let her be a kid and dont think so much about it. Believe me, if you shelter her THAT much, she'll never really experience child hood. ;like i said, I'm 20 and santa still comes to bring me presants and to fill my stocking. I still believe ;) Don't kill the spirit. She'll be a tough cookie. Believe me, there's more important things to protect her from these days than the magical spirit of father christmas
2006-10-26 11:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by talktime 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on how old your child is, and what state of maturity. The time to tell a child that Father Christmas isn't real is about the same time that the child realizes that, contrary to Dr. Seuss and others, cats don't talk, turtles don't fly, and fish don't sit at the table to eat.
When children are very young, they are not very able to discriminate between fact and fancy. As they get older -- usually around five -- they can tell the difference and learn to accept things like Pogo as fanciful but not as a lie. There is a difference. And this is the stage when they probably already guess for themselves that Santa and his elves fit into this category, along with the Easter Bunny.
2006-10-26 06:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a real shame. in this day and age there are very little fun good things left for kids. the news is all doom and gloom and we're all waiting for the next bomb and war! Father Christmas is a symbol of hope and love. Not everyone believes in the same god but would you teach our daughter that another god isn't real? kids are upset when they find out the truth yet many of them still go on with the pretence anyway! I do! I work with kids and the little ones love the thought of father Christmas coming and the older ones love seeing the kids excited. I totally respect your decision however. as parent you have to do what you believe is right for your daughter!
2006-10-26 06:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by bamba_982 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe most children's hearts are broken when they discover Father Christmas is not real. If that was the case, we wouldn't tell them it, would we? We love our children. All the excitement and enjoyment of believing in Father Christmas far outweighs a tiny twinge of disappointment when finding out he doesn't exist. Think back to your own childhood. And most kids find out when they are at the age to realise it, and it makes sense to them. They then don't waste it for younger children, as they understand the fun they had, believing. Any child who "breaks down" has been told in a nasty way or when they were too young to be told, likely by a little horror of a child who knows too much too soon!
Of course they can have a good Christmas without believing in Father Christmas but what will you say to your child when all her friends believe in him and go to see him at department stores etc, or he visits her school to give out gifts. Will you tell her he isnt real, whilst she can see all her friends believe? Will she then want to tell them? Do you think you would have been happier not believing? I think it will be more complicated to tell her he isn't real. Your call at the end of the day though, good luck. :)
2006-10-26 06:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by katy1pm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A family I grew up with had 7 children, and told every one of them the truth from the beginning. It was kind of neat because they got to keep the focus of Christmas on Christ - they never had any problems. I feel like I'd just have a hard time doing it because of cousins, friends, all that - what if my kid told them? I'd feel bad - because I feel that it's up to the parent to decide if they want to do the "father Christmas" thing or not.
2006-10-26 08:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Lucky 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I told my oldest daughters when they were young the traditional story of Santa Claus when they found out it was not true they became very angry because i teach them not to lie but yet I lied to them. They began to question other things such as a higher power and ask why adults could lie but kids couldn't. It was then that I promised never to lie again to my children. I now have 5 wonderful girls and they all know the story is just a story and they know to respect other families wishes regarding their traditions and keep quiet...they still have a wonderful Christmas and they know now when mom and dad tell them something they can always count on it being the truth!
2006-10-26 06:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My daughter is now 7 and when she had suspicions about Santa I told her the truth.
I explained that its a lie that adults tell their children because it brings great excitement to Christmas. I did it to make her happy and it was fun! She accepted this and understood that my intention was not to hurt her! My son is 3 and he believes in Father Christmas!
We do lie! Everyone lies! I was not destroyed when I found out the tooth fairy was my mother! I was impressed by her kindness!
What will you do if your daughter tells you that she wished she had of been told Father Christmas came? What will you do if she chooses to lie to her children?
You need to do what you think is right but I am more concerned about my children's safety and education than to worry that Santa is an evil lie!
2006-10-26 06:34:19 · answer #8 · answered by Nicola H 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What the heck is "father christmas"?????
Tell your children that Christmas is the holiday when we celebrate the birth of the savior, Jesus Christ. We celebrate it by giving each other a gift to celebrate the day. Christ gave us all a gift by his birth on Earth, its called Salvation, and its called being forgiven of our sins - the greatest gifts of all.
Children love santa claus, of course. First of all, most parents wait until the child is at least old enough where they won't fall to pieces when told that Santa is just for fun. This differs from kid to kid, depending on their maturity level. You are concerned about breaking the little ones hearts, but you seem to be more concerned about your guilt, so much in fact that you ARE willing to break their little hearts to make YOU feel justified. Look, Santa Claus isn't real, so what? When they get older and understand, you tell them he IS REAL. The REAL santa claus is mommy, or dad, or both - hey, isn't that true?? Who brings their presents and puts them under the tree? You do, Santa!!!
But you concern me, because you mention this "father Christmas", but you do not mention Christ. Thats the first part of your word "CHRISTmas", friend. And THATS what its really about. If you want to do right by your children, you'll tell them the truth- the truth is that Christmas is about Jesus Christ. period.
2006-10-26 06:47:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have 2 sons and neither of them believed in Father Christmas - I can't see why we should lie to our kids and then tell them off when they do it!
They still have a stocking and presents - they know they're from my husband and I!
Don't feel guilty or pressured by what your family and friends say - you do what YOU think is right for your children!
2006-10-26 07:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by Home_educator 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am dreading my kids finding out the truth, my eldest is 9 and still believes. One of my friends has always told her children that the father christmas tale is just a lovely story. I have never liked lying to them but the grandparents are keen to give them the magic of it all, and sometimes it's hard to go against the grain.
2006-10-26 07:20:28 · answer #11 · answered by good tree 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋