I've been dating this guy for about 5 months. He is a medical student ready to graduate in may of '07. He then will be starting his residency. By that time we will be engaged. Now the problem is, his residency could be anywhere. I dont want to move away and leave my family, but at the same time I dont want to loose him. And I cant wait till he is finished because his residency will take 7 yrs because he is specializing. We are what you can say soul mates and I know that doesnt come too often. Do I suck it up and leave with him? Leave my work and family and go some where that I wouldnt know anyone and start a new life over again? Any advice or if someone is going or went through this same situation will be appreciated.
2006-10-26 06:11:11 · 22 answers · asked by bella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've already completed my studies. Im an ultrasound tech.
2006-10-26 06:32:58 · update #1
If he is the one you will want to be wherever he is. Yes, it will be very hard to leave your family, but if you're meant to be with him you will want to go with him.
2006-10-26 06:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are two issues here. One is that you are assuming that after his residency he will get a job where you already live. The other is the really long hours that he will have during his residency.
If you can survive without him being around for sometimes more than 24 hours, you will be well on the way to a strong relationship. He will have extremely long hours and sometimes entire days of work.
He may well get a job in a hospital far from the one that he does his residency in or maybe in the hospital that he does his residency. Either way, expecting him to come home to where you live may not be realistic.
You might want to look at all of the possibilities. While you may not live near your family, you will have plenty of money to get yourself there for visits. Once you get used to seven years of very little time together, having him home more will seem like a gift.
Take care and Really Think This Out,
Troy
2006-10-26 06:23:06 · answer #2 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to go with him as soon as he is assigned to a new place for his residency? You have these few months to be together and as you said, you are soul mates, doesn't that give you the confidence that if you really are then not even distance can take that away?
Think of it this way, the distance could be a test on how much you two really love each other. The distance could also be for you a time to think if you really love him enough to give up your career for his career's sake. I don't know if you are also in the medical field but it will take up a lot of his time and energy. To go with him and having this fear of adjusting to a new place and people, you would expect support and time from him that maybe he cannot give since he too will be adjusting to the new place, work and the stress and pressure that goes with the residency.
Give him time to adjust to his career and give yourself time to think.Don't think that you don't have the time to think things through because you do.
Truth is, the distance would not matter if you two would do your parts in making the relationship work.
2006-10-26 06:22:27 · answer #3 · answered by ivy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that you will be engaged at that time? Is this your plan or something that you and him have discussed? When you got involved with him you knew his circumstances, so I would say go with the flow. I would not assume anything, he may not even want you to go with him.
But, I followed my man. He is a marine and I moved from the east coast to the state of Hawaii. A long ways away from my family and it was very hard, but I could not see that there was any other option if I wanted to be with him. I knew I would be homesick, but I did not second guess my decision at all-so you will know what to do when the time is right. If you have to question it, then you probably don't really want to go.
2006-10-26 06:22:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your soul mate, you will go. This is something everyone has to do at one point in their lives. I was ready to move to England when my husband and I were first engaged. That would have been leaving a big family in Kentucky and I would have missed them but I loved him and wanted to spend my life with him. Instead, he left his family and moved to the USA. But I would have given it all up to be with him. Not everyone finds their soul mates and the ones who do are lucky. So don't push your luck.
2006-10-26 06:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are truly soul mates like you say, you must leave with him. You will adjust more quickly than you think. Your family and Friends will always be your family and friends, but you will regret losing your soul mate for the rest of your life. You sound like you are truly in love. Don't let it go. You said it yourself, it's a rare thing.
2006-10-26 06:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by drummer4justus 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am going through a similar situation in that I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now. I am intending to move away from home this January and start all over. All I can say is that if it feels that good to be with him, if it feels right, go for it. Good love is rare. But listen to your gut, no matter what.
2006-10-26 06:16:05 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say go with him and follow your heart. Your family will always be there for you and you can always come home to visit. You will make new friends. Souls mates qualities don't come around too often, One word of caution, you have not been dating that long give it some time to see if your heart remains with him before you make your final decision. Good luck to you
2006-10-26 06:18:11 · answer #8 · answered by poppyspock 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HOw about a compromise? I mean it's seven years and that is a along time, but you could stay where you are for a little while and depending upon where he is, visit as often as possible until you decide you are ready to move.
2006-10-26 06:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Follow your heart! you could lose him forever!! Or you could just correspond with him or you could follow!! People in the medical proffession unfortunately don't just have a job its a way of life and you need to trully ask yourself if you are willing to put up with that? Anything is possible its just a matter of how willing each party is to be patient and faithfull
2006-10-26 06:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Dee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you say you are soulmates thenwhy wouldnt you? Once in awhile we all have to make sacrifces in life that we are scared to. And who says that when yo move you can't visit your family and friends? It might be a good thing, you can make new friends and see what it's like to live somewhere else. Try it, you might like it.
2006-10-26 06:16:08 · answer #11 · answered by Candace T 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋