i recently went down to visit my mums side of the family, who i have not seen in around 7 years. and i found out that all the things my dad had told me about my mum who died 7 years ago was lies. he kept telling me how unfaithful my mum was and all the horible things her family have done. But i have just realised he twisted it, him and hios family were like that. from what i have been told he was the unfaithful one he kept seeing other woman an my mum knew it.
He alsi wouldn't allow my mums side of the family to see me, they always sent me birthday and christmas cards to me every year without fail with £20 pounds in it. But i never received any of them. Dad always us3ed to tell me they didnt care about me.
But know that i have my own place i got back in contact and found he lied to me for 7 years. I know this because i have always got on with my mums brother and he would baby sit for me every christmas an any other time, he admitted he has missed spendinding time with me.
2006-10-26 06:02:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My uncle and the rest of my mums family are really upset as they have missed all them years with me but are also pleased in with them.
What do you think??????
I know find it hard to trust people now?
2006-10-26 06:04:04 · update #1
My dad took me away after mum died then threw me out last xmas?
2006-10-26 06:20:20 · update #2
That is so wrong of your dad to do that when your mom has passed away IF he were any kind of a father he would have told you the truth. i'm sad for you now you have so much repair to do for yourself but its not so bad just make new and happier memories with your mom's family start fresh and go from there
but i'd leave ya dad alone he sounds mean and cold hearted to do that to his child that had lost a parent
i wish you the best of luck and hope your father gets help he is living in a lie
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-26 06:14:00 · answer #1 · answered by Majenta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some parents can do some pretty stupid things especially when they are divorced, separated, or one parent passes away. Why do they bad mouth the other family? Who knows why…god forbid that their child finds love with the other parent, or that maybe their child likes dad more than mom, or vice versa. Some parents treat their kids like a trophy, and who ever has it is the winner. I think that the reason your dad did what did is maybe because he was scared of losing your love, he might of felt that if you had contact with your mothers family you would have found out the truth and no longer would have loved him. He was protecting you from the truth by covering it with a lie and now you have to decide if you can forgive him. Good Luck!
CJ
2006-10-26 06:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Your situation didn't happen to me, but I have friends who have had similar experiences and I hear stories like this as I listen to those who come up to my husband and I for prayer at my church. Unfortunately, this is far too common a situation, and a very sad one. I know there is a reason for everything. Sounds like your dad wanted his lifestyle and "did" everything he could to preserve it. Very selfish. Parents are not what we think they should be sometimes. This type of thing hurt you and it hurts everyone who is in your situation. I am divorced and re-married. I made a very strong decision to keep my son (at that time he was 4) out of "our problems" I never said anything bad about my ex-husband. Now our son is 12 and my ex and I have a great friendship. It took a lot of lip-bitting on my part in the beginning but it was worth it. Just know that even though this is your experience and a fresh one at that, that not all people are like your father. It might take some time. I hope you get re-acquainted with your mum's and her family. My best to you. Di
2006-10-26 06:19:49 · answer #3 · answered by Red! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
families are just the strangest of things and the longer Ilive the more its completely obvious to me that this kind of thing happens in almost every family.
I dont know why he lied to you specifically but I'm guessing it was so eill=thought out plan to secure your loyalty over your mum which has clearly back fired.
that said I would try to find it in your heart to understand him and if you can forgive him and move on - i know this will be hard but these things can fester for years and years and before you know it you wake up one day and realise you've not seen or spoken to your dad in years and I'd hope you dont want that either.
Explain to him calmly your hurt and frustration esp as you cant wind the clock back a talk to your mum. Try to be the better person. I wish you well.
2006-10-26 06:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by firmingr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your father did was totally wrong, cheaters always place blame on the innocent, to cover for their wrong-doings, I am very happy that you have reconnected with extended family, it is unfortunate that you had to find out this way, but better the truth be known than to live under a lie. If you can find forgiveness in your heart, forgive him. I think also that you need to put some distance between you and your father's family, they are very disfunctional, and also with your Dad too.
I also suggest seeing a professional to help you with the issues that have come up over this, and to help you better cope with it and to not let it make you bitter against him and his family.
I think that perhaps talking to your Dad, when you feel able to, will also help, but not yet, it is still to fresh and still too painful.
Wish you all the best.....
2006-10-26 06:12:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It relies upon on what the lie is like if I ask: Q: have you ever achieved something with yet another woman even as we were relationship? A(lie): uh... no Than not in any respect would forgive him. If it became: Q: What grade did you get in ELA? A(lie): ninety 8 that would want to slip
2016-12-05 06:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by blessing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dad obviously wanted you to himself. I think he is a selfish man you have missed out on your family so much. Perhaps he knew once you knew the truth he would lose you. You have to learn to trust and not tarnish everyone with the same brush. You have had it hard but perhaps with the love and support of your new family you will learn.
2006-10-26 07:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem..I think your dad lied to you because he was scared of loosing you..usually kids end up with the mother,he obviously didn't eant to loose you..your mother must have hurt him big time at point in their relationship.you must remember there is always two sides in a story,dont be too hard on your dad.he did what he thought he should to hang on to you..
2006-10-26 06:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dad wants their daughter to be disappointed in them or to be ashamed, he thought by shifting all of his mistakes onto your mother would help him admit some of his mistakes to you, but through your mum. Disrespectful to your mum but he was just seeking your respect, albeit going a very wrong way about it.
2006-10-26 07:16:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are people and when they are angry they do stupid things.My Mom actually told me my Great Grandfather didnt speak english so I wouldnt try to talk to him!!! I found out 30 years later he was fluent!!
The real question is was your Dad loving to you?Let it go if he was,its the past and you are your own person now.
2006-10-26 06:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋