I had been in a 5 year old relationship with a man I dearly care about. We have many differences between us, mainly our religion and faith. However, we agreed that nothing shld come between us and that everything can be resolved with an open heart and mind. Months ago, he told me its over between us as he realised that marrying someone of a different faith would cause him much misery and he cannot bear the social stigma..Im deeply hurt and disappointed by him. I dont understand why it took him 5 yrs to realise our differences.
Is there anyone facing the same problem as me? I feel so lonely and confused that Im beginning to loathe him. Hope there's someone I can talk to.
2006-10-26 06:01:39 · 7 answers · asked by Drifting Soul 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know there are many things I should be doing to get over this but the one thing I need right now, is the ability to pick myself up.
Maybe I sound bitter when I mentioned that Im beginning to loathe him but he did shatter all my dreams. Im thinking of going away, to nurse my wounds.
2006-10-26 06:19:00 · update #1
I know you are hurt and disappointed in him but be thankful that he decided this now instead of waiting until you were married for awhile and then tell you. If he feels this way it's better to know now. Don't hate him, he probably saved you alot of pain in the future by stopping this now.You shopuld at least respect him for his honesty.
2006-10-26 06:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truely sorry for you. I was in a similar relationship as you - different religions and all - but luckily after 6 years of courtship we got married against all odds. We are now married for 25 years! If this guy is calling it quits under the pretext of social stigma, I tell you he is bull sh***ing you! I think he is now through with the relationship and is just making an excuse to get out of it. When two people love, and court for a long time as you have, faith, religion, parents, friends, society, etc. dont play any role, unless one of them has a change of heart. Your beginning to loathe him is natural. Dont be disheartened. Just imagine if he had decided to leave you after marriage, because he was unable to bear the social stigma! Social stigma indeed... I ask you and him - in which era are the two of you living? Where is that society that gives you a stigma for inter-faith marriages? At the most family and relatives are annoyed with you for a while; then they too come around. I think you should take a stand instead of him. Go up to him and tell him that you have decided that you consider yourself lucky to dissociate with him. And that surely you have saved yourself from a miserable relationship in the future. Tell him also that he never deserved you in the first place and that your only regret is that you realised his true colour this late. Be happy in your future life and give up this man as he is a total coward and not at all suitable for you. Good luck.
PS: Message me if you wish to talk to me anytime.
2006-10-26 06:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by someone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry honey. I have not been through this. As far as it taking five years, people's opinions can change over time. It may seem like a selfish act on his part, but I 'm sure that he realized for him it would be difficult and he probably didn't want to put you through that. As far as being hateful, that won't help your situation and I think that you know that being bitter is not the answer.
I would look up some friends that you have not seen for a while. Also look into activities that you were interested in but did not participate in while in your relationship. Best to you - everything will work out.
2006-10-26 06:08:37 · answer #3 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say...Religion is one thing that can't be compromised. Many wars have been fought just because people can't agree or let it alone. He didn't wait 5 years to realize, he waited the 5 years to see if you would change. I know it's a mean trick but that's how religious guys think and work. Try not to hate him, religion brainwashes everyone and very few escape.
There's definitely someone out there that believes as you do and will love you as you deserve.
2006-10-26 06:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He chose to let the differences divide the relationship instead of using them to embrace the relationship and have it expand in diversity. You are meant for someone with bigger and better aspirations. Easier said than done, but I would move on. Good luck!
2006-10-26 06:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by betafish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you ought to confer with him relating to the way you sense, in keeping with possibility he would not choose for to hurry into issues on the instant away and take issues slowly previously each and every thing. You hug him, kiss him and stuff build up his self assurance he ought to no longer be a beneficial guy or woman whilst it comprises relationships. in case you could't face chatting with him on the instant away think of issues by what your going to declare to him or merely text textile him or social community him and tell him what you think of. If he nonetheless would not what to, to be elementary i do no longer think of the dating might artwork wish this helps xx
2016-11-25 21:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by tenuta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-27 03:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by Spirita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋