She wants my boyfriend and her to get together once a week to teach their son the alphabets. Their son is 4 years old and I guess she wants to get him ready for school next year. We found this kind of odd because whenever his son comes over, we teach him things and read books to him. and when she has him, her and her other baby's dad teach him things. So why should they do this together? I'm not saying if I agree with it or not. Just wanted to know some opinions. Thanks
2006-10-26 05:38:51 · 24 answers · asked by rach 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
They have never been married. They've been broken up since their son was not even 1 years old.
2006-10-26 12:42:08 · update #1
I really don't think it is necessary. AT ALL. I think it is very important for him and his ex to have a good relationship for the sake of the child , but I dont think they need to spend time together with him. I think it might send him the wrong message, like getting his hopes up that they might get back together.
2006-10-26 05:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand the "teaching him the alphabet" reasoning. I think maybe there is more to it. When my ex and I first separated we found that doing things together as a family was good for the kids. Our children were 5 and 7 at the time. He had moved out, but we would still go out to dinner on a occasion or head to the park. It helped our boys to see that even though we couldn't be together any more as a traditional family, we all still loved each other and were still working as a team when it came to raising them. It showed them that they still had 2 loving parents that could come together to get along on their behalf. It also taught them that they couldn't ever play one parent against the other since we still both had the same views on discipline.
You might want to ask her if there is more to this.
2006-10-26 06:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by lil_hem_n_va 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he asked her "why" she thinks this is important. Since this issue is a matter of opinion and not fact for anyone involved. There is no question whether reading to him and going over things for school is a good idea. I think everyone in his life would agree on that.
However, what she is asking isn't for your BF to spend more time with his son, but for them to spend time together. I think it's important to figure out why that has become an issue right now. The boy isn't going to learn school related topics any better from them teaching him together or seperately.
To keep the peace between everyone, I think it's important to find out why this is an issue and why now. Good luck.
2006-10-26 06:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Ticia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think this is a good idea and if both families are working with him, he will catch on regardless if the parents are together teaching him or not. They are a separated couple and if there are going to be many mile markers in this child's life, are they going to get together for all of them? I was a single mother and taught my child his alphabets with out any help from his father. I think he should just tell her no, and tel her, he will gladly work with the child, but on his time, not hers.
Good luck.
2006-10-26 05:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 4, it's nice for the son to start doing things with both parents and education is a great reason to get together. It's a weird family, but it's nice to do things as a family, then there won't be such a separation.
2006-10-26 07:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by graybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is after more than just teaching there child the alphabet. Listen if the child is four and she is just now trying to teach him his abcs then something is weird. She should have been trying to teach him his abcs. Be careful. Always know that person how has the first child holds the heart longer unless she did something totally crazy.
2006-10-26 05:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by Justyce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when you have a child with someone you want to teach your child things together, and even if it doesn't last between you guys as a couple and you guys can still manage a civil relationship with one another then you still want to have some kind of relationship together for the sake of the child. I f you know thats all that she really wants to do then i say don't stand between that and maybe it'll be a good idea if they did it where both you and her boyfriend were there with them.
2006-10-26 05:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently read an article on divorce, I don't remember where it was from, that talked about how it's important for the child of separated/divorced/whatever parents to see that they still get along because children model after their parents. By getting along with the other parent, even if you aren't together, it shows the child that it is possible to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
2006-10-26 11:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Smashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of them have a baby together. If they have an amicable relationship, then why shouldn't they spend time together with the child. It's good for the baby. Are you jealous of mom and worried your bf will get back together with her? There's a reason(s) why they aren't together anymore but the more you give him grief over this, the more you'll likely drive him away from you..and possibly back to her.
2006-10-26 06:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't need to do it together that is just odd if both parents are doing a good job teaching him then why confuse the little guy .. he needs to know he has two families now.
2006-10-26 05:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋