I'm wonder from all the verbal, emotional, abuse..My husband will realize what he did wrong to me , his stepson and his babygirl..We are now going thru divorce because he said i left him.. But the last night we were together he kick me out. So now our apartment is lonely and he went back living with his mother and father cuz he is mom's boy i'm staying with my parents too with the children. But what is goingthru my head is I WONDER IF HE WILL REALIZE what he did, how much pain he cause I feel he loves 2 see me pain. because i know i can see a smile on him.. But the question is MAN like this will they ever come to realize soon or never.. cause now is hard for me to believe what a selfish bastard he is for doing all this stuff to me.. I'am hurt and sad, but mostly mad because i did all my best in the marriage and he took advantage of me thru all the marriage.. and i know everyone tells me i'm better off without him.. he was no good husband or father..But i just feel sad how he ends this
2006-10-26 05:27:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetheart, when I read your question I relived a very painful memory of my own. I too am a suvivor of domestic violence. I too had to endure the degredation, the frustration, and the totally lapse of understanding how a man that professed to love me could stand over my battered and torn body continuously hitting me long after any resistance I had literally was kicked out of me. How could this man I share a child with, shared a life with, this same man who held me in his arms and kissed me with such passion and fire in his eyes would choke, punch and kick my petite body with hands that were blessed with the skills of a master carpenter.
So many nights after I had him arrested and he was released I felt so confused and I even wanted him back. I loved him so much! After a battle with my self respect and broken heart I developed a sense of self. I prayed that he feels remorse and come back begging my forgiveness but when that took too long ( going on a year and a half now) and with the help of God, a job, a new man, and some therapy I have moved on. I had to realize that forgiveness starts within me. That way there he'll no longer have any power over me! Mind, heart, nor body. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS! Believe me darling for the sake of your children the best thing was getting out of that stifling and painful relationship! This now your time to heal, to grow and to move forward. Let God handle this abusive man. Let God deal with what you have no control over in you life. Don't want to get preachy so I am going to leave off with I got through it and I lived 4 years of hell before I did get out of it. I will have you in my prayers.
2006-10-26 05:52:54 · answer #1 · answered by Goodie66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does happen it takes time if you stay away long enough he will realize he may not let anyone know but I guarantee you he will realize maybe not soon but he will. Just know that you did what you could to be with him and he didnt is going to make you so much stronger in the long run. You know that your a great person and you dont need someone to take advantage of that. He will end up being worse off then you because it will eventually hit him that he didnt do what he could to keep you and your so much of a better person than him.
2006-10-26 05:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you are better off without him, and you will be sad how this ended. just take it a minute at a time. i dont believe a man like that can change unless he goes through a major life changing event. im with a man who used to be very emotionaly and verbaly abusive. i had left him so many times, always to weak, and i came back and he was the same, i cried myself to sleep every night, if i didnt have a baby then i would happily of killed myself, i was so misrable, but all i could think of is how sad my child would be without me. he has changed, he got into personal trouble , and started reading his torah( bible for the jewish) slowly he became better, started understanding that its not ok to treat women like crap, and slowly became a better man, look he is disrespectful and hurtful sometimes but maybe 10% of what he used to be. its going to take a while to stop hurting, i feel bad for you, hopefully God has a better future planed out for you, in the meantime, maybe you should do something different to keep you occupied may be you should become religious yourself (or maybe you already are?) maybe you'll meet someone that is a good person too. good luck. dont go back to him, and yes he will regret it, maybe not now , but he will be punished for it by God,and he'll think "what did i do to deserve this"....... sorry for the long letter.
2006-10-26 05:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, this is just sometimes how life/love goes. We can't MAKE someone love us. And even if they DO love us, we can't always make them see how their actions hurt us. Sounds like you're feeling sad because this was a decision that was made FOR you (not necessarily BY you). THAT being the case, does it REALLY matter what he thinks/realizes later on...??? Sounds like he didn't realize it when it mattered the most. You have to 'go on' knowing and believing that you did your best and gave all that you could.
Good luck.
I know how much things SUCK now (going thru it myself) but they WILL get better.
2006-10-26 06:23:09 · answer #4 · answered by barhopper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I think he is martyring himself like you with "she always did this or that" OR "she never would do this or that". And everyone around him is also saying he's better off without you.
Its human nature to put the blame on the other person, but in a marriage the truth is you get 50% for the good and bad.
Before you get in another relationship figure out what you did wrong so you don't repeat your mistakes. If he learns or not is his business.
2006-10-26 06:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No He Will Never realize What He Did Or Didn't Do. Hate To Say This But you are probably better off without Him.
2006-10-26 05:52:01 · answer #6 · answered by bob r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he will realize what he's done to you but don't hold your breath. Just get some counseling and move on with your life. Show yourself and children that you're better person for improving for you and them. Forget it, have your cry and ache a little bit but don't let it drag you down. The sun will shine for you again if you pick up the peices and go on with your life.
2006-10-26 05:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by odessa2469 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At what point do you think he’ll feel bad, at point do you think he’ll feel remorse and at what point do you think he’ll say sorry? He won’t, he doesn’t and it will never happen! I can’t tell you when or where it will happen, but one day you’ll stop asking yourself that question and you’ll stop crying. Don’t expect forgiveness from someone who has never learned how, learn how to forgive yourself and move on with your life. After all you have beautiful children who need you and look up to you. Good luck and best wishes, I hope the best for you and your family!
CJ
2006-10-26 06:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses, if not for you, do it for your children. They should be your main concern. Children learn what they see, so if they see you being abused, they will in turn treat their future partner the same way. The pattern repeats. Counseling might help you and the children. The longer you wait for him to realize the quicker your life will pass you by!
2006-10-26 05:47:13 · answer #9 · answered by Zoobie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't look for any understanding on his part anytime soon. People like him rarely truely realize what they have done. It is always the other persons fault; never their own. I wish for your sake it was different but the reality is he will probably never fully understand what he has done because he will always run to mommy who will take his side. All that does is reinforce his behavior whether mommy agrees with him or not.
Good Luck to you!!!
2006-10-26 05:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by Doug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋