How do you deal with the guilt of dropping off your child at day care each day ?

Question

I am STRICTLY writing about the women that work to buy toys that the husband cant afford.

Answer 1

What makes you think they feel guilty at all?

My husband is successful and I don't need to work, but I operate a business out of our home and still have a nanny for our son, and he goes to preschool. And guess what? I don't feel guilty at all about it. Not at all.

Having children doesn't mean you have to drop everything just to follow them around all day.

Answer 2

Ooh... are we talking about two different issues here? You apparently resent, (either for yourself or on someone else's behalf,) sacrificing time, money and/or relationship(s) with the children in order to finance someone else's "un-necessities", so we actually are talking about domestic dispute. Plus...you feel guilty for abandoning your kids. Lets separate them. First of all, lets cut past the baloney. Kids hurt from being raised in a day care. Give all the examples you want, but studies confirm it...common sense confirms it. But sometimes the situation leaves no other options, and in that case, because there are no other choices, it is OK to feel bad about it...but not guilty. It's out of your hands. But when there are alternatives, such as NOT giving toys priority above a child's welfare, then guilt will happen...and it should. But that's still not the issue here. The real issue is this marital dispute, and more to the point, that the wife feels the guilt instead of the husband. I would call that ironic, as well as irresponsible...and selfish. Somewhere down the road there will be the piper to pay. But unfortunately, as in the case of many families, the wife and kids pay the price while the husband whiles away the day playing with his toys. If it were my house, there'd be one hell of an argument. Believe me...time is short. I am a guy...a husband...a father of three boys. I've been there.

Answer 3

I have no guilt. My daughter stayed at home until she was 2yrs old with a very close and trusted family member (she was cared for in my home and the family member lived with us), and my husband and I work. She's very well adjusted, and can't wait to get to school every day. Now, my husband did offer me the option of staying home, but I feel more productive working and contributing to the household financially. I would have felt guilty dropping her off to daycare as a newborn, however. Is your question phrased as such because you believe women should not work unless they have to, and that buying toys is not necessary and they should be home? Each woman makes that decision based on her personal issues. Never in a million years would I want to be a stay at home mom, because it tips the balance of power. I keep my power by earning my own money and maintaining my financial independence. Also, I only have one child, and once she 's in school (like now) what the heck would I be doing all day? My husband works evenings, so I pick her up and I am home with her 5 evenings out of the week (all mommy/daughter time), so I don't think that decision was a bad one at all. From her first day of daycare she loved it. So I have no guilt...and a happy marriage and kid to boot!

Answer 4

Well, I don't know how those people deal with it. It is difficult for me. I don't do it to buy toys, but we all make lifestyle choices. We don't HAVE to live in the neighborhood we do. Instead of living in the suburbs we could live in the innner city here and have a much cheaper house. We could have bought clunkers instead of decent vehicles. It's all a matter of choice. At that moment when I drop my son off at daycare, and he cries, I feel tremendous guilt. But, coming from where we did, I have to balance that in order to be where we are and provide the safety we have, and the comfort. Now, he is fine with it, and my 5 yr old went for a yr and half before kindergarten and learned sooooo much. That helps. Same place, and they love our kids, and us, and we love the dacare center, so.......Its a daily struggle for those of us that cannot afford Nannies and to stay home and not work.

Answer 5

dont feel guilty at all. Day Care is where a child first learns how to communicate properly with others and for the real world thats handy. You shouldnt feel guilty because one you are not the only one with a child day care. They have day care specifically for those that work. Technically it is school, they do teach there and play and have snacks and nap kids have it good they have fun everyday at day care and if you feel that your child is not having fun and doesnt like to participate then maybe you need to find a new day care that the child likes. I know its hard to see your kid off at the door but just think, when you leave they go right to their buddies and start having fun. Day care is fun. I promise you they are not sitting at the door all day crying for you to come back. so dont be so hard on yourself.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with putting your child in day care for any reason. Even if the mother doesn't work and can afford it. Day care/play for a child is like going to a job. Kids need to learn how to interact with other kids & how to play with other kids. With my oldest 2 kids, I had the option of having grandma watch them or day care. I chose day care for that reason. It's good for them. As far as mom just working to buy toys, she needs a break too.

Answer 7

Too many father and mom contained in the western international attempt to be their young children' acquaintances particularly than authority figures. inspite of this although, western father and mom have a tendency to have fewer toddlers so the bond is tighter between them than in households the position the father and mom ought to attempt to furnish interest to many more effective offspring. The human being figure/baby relationship is different contained in the western international because the grown up little kids do not have the cultural expectation that they help their growing old father and mom financially. that is more effective in all chance that the growing old father and mom can ought to assist their young children' households with money because the final favourite of residing declines contained in the western international. it really is uncommon to locate multi-generational households contained in the west. Western senior voters have a tendency to fee their independence and not in any respect want to stay with their human being toddlers. which does not exhibit a weak bond, it says more effective about the west's obsession with projecting eternal adolescents.

Answer 8

The success of a child is based 100% on the education level of the mother. There is nothing wrong with putting your children in a good day care where they can socialize while you go put and improve yourself.

Answer 9

day care used causes moms and dads to detach from their children. this result is born out in decades of research and explains how many people can wantonly abandon their chidlren to the care of strangers.

children do not learn anything good from day care. they learn mommy doesn't care about their need to be with her. they learn to talk from other kids who can't talk. they learn to solve problems from kids. they should be being raised by a mommy so they learn. that's the real world, not being locked up in an institution all day. what lunacy, what idiocy to think a child needs a day care. i would want to say it's mere ignorance, but really, does a mammalian mom not get how vital she is to her child? how terribly terribly sad.

so many have been taught that their children are better off without them that they shut down the little screaming voice (theirs or their baby's) that tells them day care is wrong. also, so many have been taught that day care is good for kids, that they have no guilt because they are uninformed. many mothers genuinely do not like their children - tho this is a predicted outcome of day care use, according to NICHD research.

Answer 10

I dealt with the same when I first dropped off my kids. The way I found to ease my transition was to talk to the teacher or daycare provider daily to find out specifics about their day. I found out that what I was really concerned about was missing out on my child's development. Talking to their teachers daily helped me to feel their developmental needs were being met and that I could pick up where I had left off.