My wife & I agreed not to have any kids as I have 2 & 1 lives with us. we both agreed 8 years ago no kids before we got married.. our relationship has not been good for sometime , I am not saying its all her because I know we both play a big part in this , we just go through the motions so to speak..I honestly was going to leave before I found out , no way I can leave now. the only good thing that has come from this is she don't drink every day now I really feel bad for everyone in this house because I know my heart is not 100% in this anymore. my wife is a good person & I love her but I am not sure I am in love with her
2006-10-26 05:01:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
heard of counseling? she didn't get pregnant by herself...
2006-10-26 05:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't "get pregnant" - you got her pregnant...let's call it like it is, man.
You made a baby with her. Be a man and deal with it. How could you even think about jumping ship now? Maybe you're not "in love" with her but does she deserve this, now?
You lied to her - flat out deceived her - by making love to her and living a lie without telling her the truth, that you wanted out. She's an innocent victim of your deceptions! The price you pay is a baby - a human being that didn't ask to be born.
A good marriage takes work. What have you done to make it work? It's time to do some major soul-searching or a least, take a good long look in the mirror, pal. It starts with you. There's a baby in the works. Put your family first (your wife and kids) and do the right thing.
2006-10-26 05:20:31 · answer #2 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you wanted out of the relationship you should have used some protection. Keep this in mind though, you can't stay in a marriage just for the kids. Especially if you are not in love. I have been there. You only going to resent each other. It will also be unhealthy for the kids. You need to think this thing through.
2006-10-26 05:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me I've been down that "I love her but I am not sure I am in love with her".. We sought counseling. During a separation, divorce and remarriage. Marriage takes work, its not an appliance we use then throw away especially with kids.
Get her help for her alcohol problem. Get her in to treatment or tell her to attend AA.. Tell her she needs to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.
I can give you horror tails of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome but you likely know that already.
I've been recovery for 20+ years from alcohol, my wife and I had a similar relationship of just being "roomates".. It wasn't good. We had to make some efforts to get things back on track. Communication takes practice. Daily, we go on 'dates' once per week. We make time without the kids.
if you need a PM drop me a note farmall_ihc@yahoo.com
2006-10-26 05:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's time to work on the marriage. Since you did have sex and you did take part in making a baby, you need to step up now and do whatever it takes to make a happy home for this child to be born into. You can jump start your marriage...it just takes commitment and effort.
2006-10-26 05:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this can be a way to get re energized about your wife. While she is going through the pregnancy explore her. I mean really get into the changes she is going through. Massages and rub downs with baby oil and lotions. Go walking (that will help her with weight, feeling better about herself, and the birth) Have more sex with her. This will happen with the massages. Let her see that you love her and care about her, she will recipricate.
2006-10-26 05:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her that you're concerned about having a child now, and that you don't think your marriage is stable enough for a new baby. Also...if you guys agreed to not have any kids then...it would make sense for her to consider the option of abortion. I mean...you made an agreement.
2006-10-26 05:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't happy then leave her, but still take care of the baby. If you aren't happy then I don't see why you have to spend your whole life being unhappy. Leave her and find someone else and don't marry them until your 100% sure you love them. Good Luck!
2006-10-26 05:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she ignored her era yet? if so, have her take a try. in case you 2 have been having unprotected intercourse, that's conceivable. If final evening became the sole unprotected intercourse you had, it extremely is uncertain the you would be attentive to she's pregnant this early. playstation - She does no longer be pERgnant, yet she ought to be pREgnant. :o)
2016-11-25 21:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No choice but be there for the baby. You did have sex with her, so who is to be blamed? No love is 100%.
2006-10-26 05:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel..Don't hide an6ything from her about how you feel, cause in the long run it can make thing's worse.
2006-10-26 05:20:24 · answer #11 · answered by mmarie1221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋