ok so i went out with my best bud for a year and things ended really bad but we were best friends when we were together more then we were a couple.... we broke up a month ago and i am still not over him he has a new gf. i want to get over him so bad..... i have seen another guy but he just tries to control me so things arent working out but now my ex has been talking to me a ton and he doesnt know that everything he says makes me want to cry he is just trying to be my friend.. he wants to take me out but he isnt telling his new girl friend and i dont know if he is trying to be friends again or if he has other intentions...
2006-10-26 04:44:17 · 16 answers · asked by bbb h 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
This really belongs in dating and relationships. You'll probably receive more answers...and BTW, give it time. If you are such great friends, you'll just have to ride out trippin on other people. Are you young? He'll probably go through the same experiences with you
2006-10-26 04:47:25 · answer #1 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. I'm a guy and I have to admit, I've been that ex that keeps calling. Here's my advice for whatever it's worth. Don't dig in the trash and put back what has already been thrown away. It smells of something fishy. This guy seems like he's trying to get the best of both worlds. He should have know that when he let you go that he is also letting go of your great friendship. At this point, he is being very insensitive about your feelings by trying to go out with you and being very insensitive to his current girlfriends feelings by not telling her. This sounds like a trainwreck waiting to happen. I've been in this position more than once, in your shoes and in his. When I was in his shoes I was still trying to be friends and hang out with my ex because I really did like the friendship and didn't want to lose it...I was just clueless on what it was doing to her heart. I should have left it alone. If some time passes (a year or two) and you decided to hang out with him again then you will be at a better place to do so. Till then I suggest to go on with your life, find a hobby (dancing, painting, etc) to get your mind off of things, and enjoy your youth! Take care.
2006-10-26 11:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by Joey T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he tried to salvage your friendship, which is most important anyways. I am engaged to my best friend of nine years and we have been a couple for the last two years. It is a blessing that we were able to work together and live together. We know basically everything there is to know about each other since we are only 21 and 9 years is almost half of our lives. I would say to accept his friendship and if things are meant to be, they will be. With him wanting to take you and and not telling his girl, that sounds like he wants to be more than friends with you, but only for the night, if you know what i mean. Some guys dont think with their brains or hearts they think with their penises. If he knows that you are totally into him, he knows that with some lies and secrecy, he might be able to have the best of both worlds, 2 women. Dont let that happen. Dont be a fool. That is why i say stick with the friendship for now. I mean there are many more fish in the sea as my mother always told me. Good luck!
2006-10-26 11:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Tamara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is to stop all conversation for a while until you no longer feel like this anymore. I wish I had someone to tell me all this, but I didn't and now Im in the worse relationship ever. I don't think I could handle my ex having a new girlfriend, but I would have to. It sucks but it is life.
Be happy with yourself then you won't feel so bad about not being with him. I learned that all I have is me myself and I in the end *quoting Beyonce* and it is true. Stay strong. Move on. And be happy.
The right person will come to you.
2006-10-26 11:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by PrInCeSs P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but honesty is the best policy in this situation. Tell him how you are still affected by the break up. Tell him how it may be "confusing" to hang out. Let him know that you need more time before spending time with him as a friend because your emotions are still delicate. Let him know that you are uncomfortable that his new girlfriend does not know that he is asking you out. If his intentions are to just continue to be friends, then he does not need to hide anything from his new girlfriend, and should be able to wait. If he insists to hang out now, while you are still weak, then he might be looking for something else.
Be careful if you decide to go out with him, because if his intentions are for more than friendship while keeping his other girlfriend, it will be hard for you to resist any advances.
2006-10-26 11:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never hide your feelings that you will learn as you get older....by hiding them your not addressing the feelings that you have for him...you should talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling and how hes making you feel...if you cant find it in yourself right now to be friends with him again then by all means dont...let your feelings for him leave before you try to pick up the friendship that you once had with him...i hope you learned that you should never date a good friend because if it dont work out you not only loose a boyfriend you loose a friendship....a friendship is worth alot more then a relationship...good luck i wish you the best
2006-10-26 11:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds to me he,s missing he,s best friend!Just like you are!But is that fair to each of you?Your lover should be your best friend but ALWAYS LOVERS fIRST! Thats the only way a relation ship will last!Not only do you have to be best friends but you have to be conected with your souls when you make love!If you can Honestly say you have that with him then its worth fighting for!But if both of you don,t have that conection than your not being fair to yourslf him or that poor other Two poeple use are dating!If thats the case,you both need to move on,Do not have contac with him to you now in your heart your over him and find a man in the mean while that does both those things to you!And you know what,It always happens when you stop Looking,Thats what happen with me!maybe you should try just being friends with all guys for awhile to you get over him!I,ll tell you,I had to do that and when i was at my happiest living with myself,BOOM,It was like a swak in the Face,LOVE!LOL!so you never know,but work on liking being with Just you for awhile to your Heart Heals!Good Luck,Hollywood
2006-10-26 12:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by hollywood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump both old flawed ones and find a newer, better model.
or figure out how to be happy yourself. then you will surely attract better men or boys.
sounds like Mr used to be right isn't so honest- big- red flag.
and the second guy is another no.
stay away if you want to move on. time will heal. first loves have a strong pull. not always a good one.
read the book smart women, foolish choices.
2006-10-26 11:55:40 · answer #8 · answered by macdoodle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend like you.
the same thing happened to her, and she tried the same things.
she cant get over him and hes seeing other people.
she overdosed and he felt bad so he went back out with her.
now, im not saying to overdose or anything, but act like your all depressed and don't feel like you have a meaning in life.
she does that every time they break up and he goes back out with her every time.
just try that and if you need more help, you can email me.
my email: morrgaannnx3@yahoo.com
i'll respond back.. i promise.
2006-10-26 11:49:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is an honest guy he is probably trying to rekindle your lost friendship but he knows his g/f will dislike that very much knowing he is going to "dinner" w/ his ex-g/f so thats why he didn't tell her he doesn't want to lose a friend or a g/f
2006-10-26 11:53:02 · answer #10 · answered by fearb4themarch815 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋