Why doesn't anyone ever care about the children?
2006-10-26 03:55:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
While there may be legit reasons for a divorce sometimes, mostly it proves that 1)people are lazy and don't want to work at their marriage,2) people are selfish and more worried about their needs/wants than anyone elses and 3) people are quitters
2006-10-26 04:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by sploosh 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone assume the if I answer "just get a divorce" I neither have children or am not married? Staying in an unhappy marriage for the children is cruel, children do not thrive in a household where there is constant fighting, I think that counselling is by far overrated and does not work majority of time or for a short time only. Also if abuse is happening within the marriage then the only option is to leave. If my husband cheated on me I would be gone for the simple reason of he obviously doesn't respect me and doesn't care for my health so why stay because we're "married" please people this is 2006 not 1906.
2006-10-26 04:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by Bassetlover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually they are the most unselfish answers out there.
It actually shows that they care about the children...If a marriage isn't working out, constantly bickering, or for any other reason, the child does not need to grow up under these circumstances. Sometimes, marriages just don't work. The husband and wife do not need to spend the rest of their life being unhappy and being a bad influence to their children of what a relationship "should" be like.
Divorce should only be between a husband and wife and if they are still happy. If they have children, of course it will affect them, but if it is what would make them truly happy and the children truly happy later on not having to live with constant arguing, than it will be well worth it.
2006-10-26 04:12:16 · answer #3 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately sometimes people make mistakes.. including choosing the wrong spouse and divorce is the ultimate way out. However, I feel that if you have tried everything, such as counseling and really devoting yourself to trying to make it work and it still fails then divorce. It isn't good for the children to stay in a bad situation. I don't think just because you divorce you don't care about the children, quite the opposite.
2006-10-26 04:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's why there is so much divorce because people's answer to a difficult situation is "get a divorce", instead of working through it with your partner. Life is not easy and 2 people sharing a life together isn't easy, but if both people are willing to try and compromise, they could keep their relationshiop together. It doesn't seem to me that people take their children into consideration very often, they just know that they're unhappy so they do what's the best for them or take the easy way out. I think people these days are more selfish and less willing to work things out.
2006-10-26 04:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No; there are circumstances where a divorce is the only reasonable answer:
1. If your spouse is verbally or physically abusive to you or your children.
2. If your spouse is a serial adulterer
3. If you knew that marrying your spouse was a huge mistake, but married because of family, cultural or other pressures
I agree that some couples divorce because they just don't want to do what it takes to keep a marriage together. I mean people who truly love each other, but the "work" involved to do what needs to be done is inconvenient or not a priority. Anything worth waiting for or that has rewards requires work.
As for the children, I have two step-daughters whose parents should have never married to begin with, and staying married has left a nasty imprint on their lives. One is perpetually angry, the other is needy and makes the same poor relationship choices over and over. Neither one knows how to effectively communicate or deal with confrontation. It's better for children see their parents happy (whether married or divorced), then living in a hostile environment because it's "for the children." That's a hell of a burden to put on a child, one they can't possibly shoulder.
The world is moving way too quickly; we want it our way and we want it right away. We don't spend any time understanding or nuturing anything; we're too quick to grow up and find ourselves ill-prepared to communicate or problem solve because we haven't learned how. In that kind of world...you keep leaving the seat up on the toilet? I'm filing for divorce!
Sad, but true.
2006-10-26 04:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all. When you think about it, most of us learn the important things about relationships and families from our own parents. Despite our efforts to the contrary, we frequently end up mirroring those behaviors we witnessed from our own parents. The same holds true for our own children: they are learning about love, dispute resolution, respect, and similar values from their parents.
Now imagine a couple that, for whatever reason, is wholly unable to work things out in a rational fashion: they yell constantly, scream, or one walks out on the other. The less obvious, but equally harmful version of this could be where Dad shows no respect whatsoever for Mom, or Mom frequently belittles Dad. The kids learn this as the norm.
This leads to the original question: should couples like this stay together "for the kids?" Sure, if you want your sons to treat women like dirt, or your daughters to have such low self esteem that they make themselves doormats for their own husbands. If a marriage cannot work between the parents AND cannot give a good example to the kids of how relationships between the sexes can work, then divorce, despite its own set of traumas, should be considered.
2006-10-26 05:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by PosseComitatus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children are important definitely and so are vows. No one should ever dissolve a marraige before seeking counseling or experiencing a trial seperation.
However, if you are in an abusive relationship, a women should never stay b/c seeing your mom abused (I'm thinking) has to be the worst experience a child could have. It would be much worse than divorce. I am married and the day my husband starts beating me, I'd be out!!! I would hope that he sought counseling but I wouldn't want my kids to see that.... Not to mention enduring a beating on a daily.
I can't even imagine
2006-10-26 04:02:43 · answer #8 · answered by Wife~and~Mom 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yea, you are right, all of these people who give such advise are selfish indeed. They do not care about what happens to the children. These poor little creature get affected as well, they get tossed from staying with this one to that one, visiting the other parent one weekend and all that. Imagine at school. Even the parents themselves, the emotions they go through, the rumours that come out, the way neighbours and workmates look at you and all the gossip. People must have hearts, please. If I went to someone for advise and they told me divorce I would kill them.
2006-10-26 04:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Joker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too selfish. Divorce is so mainstream now that it has become an easy "out" for couples who just don't want to WORK on their marriages.
No one ever said marriage was easy or all cake and cream. It requires a lot more than some people are willing to give.
2006-10-26 03:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋