On the fast track career-wise (although looking to cool it and get a little more "real" in my life) and long commutes to work. Our house is in process (a fixer upper small historical) and probably will never be "done". I'm not babycrazy, yet, I'm having feelings of really wanting to give to another little person that's all mine and my husband's. It's a decision that's huge and not one you can take back with a receipt. I'm terrified, but feel like I'll regret it if we don't try. I have feelings that I won't be crushed forever if we remain a childless couple (there are benefits to that my friends with children remind me of), so my question is... if I'm not babycrazy, but want a baby, is this right for me? Has anyone my age felt this way? You've gotten this far with your spouse, like your life, want to add to it, but wouldn't be broken if you didn't? Or are all parents-to-be out there on a single track about having kids and I'm just one of those people that shouldn't consider it?
2006-10-26 03:54:49 · 20 answers · asked by Kate 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Don't sweat it. My wife and I are in the same boat. Don't have kids until YOU are ready. And remember, you can always adopt. We're thinking about it right now. There's plenty of children that need a loving home.
2006-10-26 03:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by texascrazyhorse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. You sound like you'd be accepting either way, which is always a good start. I'm a young mother with 2 children and although it's a lot of work (and stress), it is worth it in the end. I think most women go through the mental process of deciding whether or not to have children. Maybe help out a friend and/or family member and offer to watch their children for the weekend. That'll help you get a better understanding as to whether you're ready for that commitment or not. Either way, you don't want to regret your ultimate decision. A friend of mine and her husband knew right from the beginning that parenthood was not for them. The biggest problem they run into is other people wanting to know when they're going to have kids. (It's more of an annoyance than a problem.) My husband and I are going on our first vacation together this upcoming week (long overdue honeymoon we've never had) and this will be the 1st time for us to be childless...EVER!!! Woo-hoo! Just remember, if you decide to have a baby, you will get your independence back once he/she gets older.
2006-10-26 11:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by gretchen372002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 32 when I had my first and only child and I went through the same thought processes as you are currently having. I have the benefit of hindsight now and I can tell you will 100% certainty that you will never, never, never, never feel completely "ready" for a baby. My son is seven now and I still don't feel "ready" lol.
Your life will change forever with a baby, but chances are you will never regret it.
Well, okay, there will be a few times when you will question your sanity but....
My son is my best and most satisfying and most difficult and most wonderful "achievement". I can't imagine living without him, he has thought me about what is really important in life. You cannot imagine what true love is until you have a child of your own.
2006-10-26 11:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by joeanonymous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are thinking about wanting a baby, then you do need to do it now because the older you get the harder it is going to be to have one not to mention the effects on the child. You don't want to wait to long
Only you know if you are ready to have a baby, no one unfortunately can help you with that....
My son came unexpectedly and I had all the fears, considering I was single. I thought about adoption-but now I could not imagine my life without him now... he's the best thing that ever happened to me... I think everyone fears it, but once you have the baby, it's the greatest thing in the world
2006-10-26 11:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by katjha2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't want children and got pregnant at 32 but had a miscarriage. After that I really wanted to have a child, and am 7 months pregnant again and 35. I think if you are not ready to have children then wait. If you are having feelings of having a baby then don't wait, it may take awhile to get pregnant. Good luck with whatever you and your husband decide.
2006-10-26 11:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by shorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though im not a parent having a child is the best little blessing.Just make sure your prepared but not paranoid.Just make all the preparattions at home and dont make the mistake that you need to get him a nursery ASAP.He dont even know whats going on.So you could save some money.Of course toys,food and transportation gear.Other than that you should be fine.Unless its more than 1 then there some concern.
2006-10-26 11:02:20 · answer #6 · answered by Aces747 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think wanting a baby but not being "babycrazy" is the most healthy feeling there could be. I think it is alot more unnatural to be one-track mind on "life-is-not-complete" without a baby.
Good luck on your decision. - Just the fact that you are giving it so much thought means you will be wonderful parents!!
2006-10-26 11:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by FlCpa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like you know when you are ready. My husband and I were married for 8 years before we had a baby, and we just felt we weren't ready yet. Everyone said "you'll never be ready", but it wasn't true - we knew when we were ready, and it was the perfect time. No regrets, no "I wish we would have...", we just knew it was time. I say wait until you are ready - the time will come.
2006-10-26 11:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Aunt is 57 with no kids which she really wanted but no man she could even date. The way is to have babies before 35, because it will be a risk for the child the older you get. If you are not ready for a baby and wait until "you are" you could have a baby with sever defects, and then you will never be ready
2006-10-26 11:00:00 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suppose people who do have babies are not always baby crazy. It's just something that they do - they feel they are here for - to give, and to mould and share in the miracle of life. But if you don't you don't... I think you should just do your own thing and sit back a relax... adopt when you feel like it... thats it! good luck - dont panic, parenthood is bloody hard - i dont want to try it out!
2006-10-26 10:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by spliff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋