So what's the problem with gay marriage?

Question

Okay, I get that some people are uncomfortable with homosexuality. They think it's unnatural, or weird, or that God hates it, or they're just scared of it. I have gay family members, so it doesn't seem odd to me, but I understand the aversions.

WHY are they against gay marriage? Even if you hate homosexuality, would it not be better to be gay and married than gay and promiscuous?

Please, no generic answers like "marriage is between a man and a woman." We're talking about gay marriage here, so that's not really an argument. Also, no answers referring to the Bible or other religious text, unless it also contains your own opinion.

Let me clarify about having no generic answers and no religious quotes: Firstly, the question is focusing on problems with gay marriage, NOT with homosexuality in general. People's aversions to homosexuality are numerous, and everyone is pretty aware of what they are already.

I don't want purely religious quotes because I'm looking for the opinions of individual Americans (or Brits, or Aussies...). And not to be coarse, but the Bible's perspective on the issue is just irrelevant. We live in a democracy wherein all citizens are supposed to be EQUAL. Religion did not by any means invent marriage, nor does it hold a copyright on the term. I have no problem with religion, and I respect your religious beliefs, but if you believe that they should be applied to our law system de facto, then you might be happier living under a theocratic government. Again, this is not intended to offend religious people, but the religious references bring nothing to the conversation.

Before I choose a best answer, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to answer. Although you can probably guess my position on the issue, my goal here was to hear other people's points of view rather than to try to send a message.

Again, I think I've been misunderstood regarding the religious answers. If your religious beliefs are the sole reason for your opinon, then that's important. I just wanted to avoid repeated Bible quotes with no supporting opinions behind them. I received none of those; thank you for that.

Answer 1

First off, I'm not a Christian so don't think I'm biased in my views. I don't think gay marriage is wrong, whatever they want to do in that arena is their choice & their business. The problem lies in their adopting or using fertility methods to raise a child. I don't think a child should be raised in that enviroment. The parents have a choice, the children do not. They will have a much harder life as far as confusion, being targeted by bullies, moral dilimas, etc. The best interest of a child should ALWAYS come before political agendas & sexual freedom. People like Rosie O'Donnell need to understand that by putting children in weird situations like her "Gay Cruise", she is hurting them.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

This is going to be a bit of a long post, so read if you feel like it or don't. Here's my feelings. I am completely for gay marriage. I could care less about the natural arguement at all, as they are grown adults who are hurting noone, except "good, decent godfearing folks" feelings. I think the only thing bad is the ones who engage in unprotected sex and then are dishonest with partners. The DL bisexual thing I think is wrong, as I find all cheating wrong. BUT, straight people are just as guilty in this modern oversexed society. Iam for gay marriage, as I think, corny as it may sound to some, marriage is about love.


I could go get a heterosexual man-woman government sanctioned marriage right now that has nothing to do with "God". Chances are, if I marry, that will be the case. Am I "wrong" for that? Nahhh, noone cares about that. Gay people bother these "righteous" f**ks. Plus, as far as marriage being a religious thing, the roots of the origin of marriage are not truly known. Many cultures and faiths, other than Christianity have had such practices through history, and there are still a number of non-Christian faiths today that support same sex marriages.


So, even if you wanted to argue that marriage is a religious thing, you could not say that is an exclusively Christian thing, or NEVER has been.

On a related note.....I do think being born homosexual could be seen as a disorder, like autism, or being born with both sets of sexual organs. This is being totally honest, without the influence of political correctness as a bias. BUT, like autism, many "suffering" don't see it as a disease. Either way it is a mutation. But, so are freckles. Whether or not it is seen as a disorder that should be "cured" or simply a natural form of population control is subjective to individual opinion. Most "compassionate conservatives" wouldn't really care if the person was "cured" or just supressing feelings. They only selfishly care that they are not exposed to "gross" or "immoral" acts, not for the actual underlying condition of the individual who has been "saved". If some "ex-gay" has been "cured", but ends up being suicidally depressed, chances are the people who were so "concerned" with "saving" him/her will not pay enough attention or look the other way. Nothing humanitarian about it.


Truth is it is hurting nothing and, there are more important things to worry about in this day and age. I also think some of these gay pride parades are very counterproductive as they are more porn than family.


They push negative stereotypes of the gay community further. You would not see a bunch of black guys show up to the Million Man March all thugged out, "busting caps", eating fried chicken and shouting in ebonics and shouting obscenities at women. Why? Because they recognize how that kind of goes against the purpose of what they are trying to accomplish.


I am also against biphobia from the gay community and treating bisexuals like crap. Guess it goes back to the oppressed becoming the oppressor. I also am annoyed by these femmie queenie supremacist type gay guys. Bisexual does not always mean someone is gay, but doesn't realize it. "Gay" doesn't mean acting a certain way, either. I burp, I fart, I could care less about fashion or shopping. Every or anything straight or masculine is not the enemy.

Answer 4

The way I see it you asked two questions that I will comment on in turn:

1) WHY are [people] against gay marriage?

a) First, you can't really discount "religious" reasons or "definitional" reasons because of the way you phrased your question - these are legitimate reasons for some individuals. That being said, I will try and submit other "secular" reasons against it (whether rational, logical, or otherwise).

b) One reason may be that those with "traditional" views do not want to be put in the same category with gays because gay marriage or gay family life is not "traditional" (I'll agree that this is largely a "personal" reason so not very strong as applied to everyone).

c) Probably one of the strongest reasons is that allowing gay marriage IS (as we called it in law school) a slippery slope. As others have mentioned, next is bigamy or polygamy, adultery, prostitution, or incest/incestual marriage (between consenting adults). Of course gays get incensed that you put them in the same category as any of these, but then they understand how many married heteros feel.


2) Even if you hate homosexuality, would it not be better to be gay and married than gay and promiscuous?

This really is a weak "lesser of evils" - type argument.

a) as others have mentioned - legalize drugs, raise the speeding limit, legalize adultery, legalize polygamy - it really just sends a message that "people are going to do it anyway, so why not legalize it."

Anyway, those are just a couple of my thoughts on why some people think that we should not have gay marriage. You did not ask why we SHOULD have gay marriage, so I have not addressed that.

Answer 5

Your question is great one and like most hotly debated topics it can get very confusing and emotional, as you can tell by the answers here. The answer won't fit here but I'll do my best to summarize.

The issue of gay marriage has grown so large, mostly because the issue is no longer about gay marriage. (confused yet?) Gay marriage has been voted on in many states via referendums put on various ballots and for the most part Americans don't want any part of gay marriage. Taking emotion out of it, it really doesn't matter why Americans don't want it, they just don't. Once we vote on something and don't want it, that is usually the end of it. But in this case, well funded gay and lesbian groups are taking the argument away from the people and taking it to court where unelected judges are now deciding the fate of gay marriage. Understandably this has people pissed off because we might as well have not voted on it in the first place.( Now is where you get to the heart of the argument.)

Republicans and conservatives such as myself are getting very nervous on this one becuase if this becomes a trend by liberals (using the courts to force social changes people dont want), then we are all in a ton of trouble. Conservatives are called that for a reason, for the most part we want to conserve the american way of life the way it is and not change it much. I, like most americans just want to live in clean, thriving suburbs, to go to work everyday with little traffic, watch my kids grow up safely and get a good education and I like a bbq from time to time. Thats it. Gay marriage doesnt affect me one way or the other but I feel I need to take a stand now because bigger issues that do affect me are on the horizon. For example liberals here in Los Angeles are beginning to push for laws that will have teachers teaching about homosexuality, and another hot topic is one where planned parenthood wants the right to take my teenage daughter across state lines for an abortion without my permission. These are very real current issues that affect me and my family dearly and in the eyes of conservatives it all starts with the gay marriage issue. If we don't take a stand now then the first domino falls and you know what happens then.

As for the reason people have voted "no" on gay marriage is the fact that it is abnormal. I don't think anyone arguing this issue emotionless can truly say that gay and lesbian relationships are normal. If that was the case, without science there would be no more babies. Society has deemed a relationship between a man and a woman to be normal for one reason. Babies....thats it. We should be working much harder in this country on putting the traditional marriage back together and not arguing about whether more abnormal forms of marriage should be seen as "normal." At the end of the day unfortunately it is the children that suffer from all of this and people know it. People know the divorce rate is disgusting, people know the abortion rate is disgusting and I think that Americans truly want to start putting the family back together. Hope this small summary of the issue helps.

Answer 6

I have loads of gay friends and I definitely think they should be entitled to some form of protection under the law, perhaps "civil unions"? But a lot of people who are against gay marriage are worried about where we draw the line. If we legalize gay marriage, what's next? Polygamists will sue for their rights, and then it'll be the bozo who wants to marry their dog, or this odd character......

Woman marries dolphin

Jerusalem
January 2, 2006

Sharon Tendler met Cindy 15 years ago. She said it was love at first sight. This week she finally took the plunge and proposed. The lucky "guy" plunged right back.

In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world's first person to "marry" a dolphin.

Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, Tendler got down on one knee on the dock and gave Cindy a kiss. And a piece of herring.

"It's not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He's the love of my life," she said Saturday, upon her return to London.

Tendler, who said she imports clothes and promotes rock bands in England, has visited Israel several times a year since first meeting the dolphin.

When asked in the past if she had a boyfriend, she would always reply, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy." On Wednesday, she made it official, sort of. While she acknowledged the "wedding" had no legal bearing she did say it reflected her deep feelings toward the bottlenosed, 35-year-old object of her affection.

"It's not a bad thing. It just something that we did because I love him, but not in the way that you love a man. It's just a pure love that I have for this animal," she said.

While she still kept open the option of "marrying human" at some stage, she said for now she was strictly a "one-dolphin woman".

She's hardly the jealous type, though.

"He will still play with all the other girls there," she said, of their prenuptial agreement. "I hope he has a lot of baby dolphins with the other dolphins. The more dolphins the better."

- AP

Answer 7

Marriage was designed by the believers of God. As time pasted, laws were written to help up hold these beliefs and made marriage a legal binding contract.

Now you want to take religion out of the equation then there are no hot button issues with gay marriage. It would be the same as anyone else, a legal binding contract between two people.

Take Care

Answer 8

I think that the issue has been hijacked by politics.

Why is it that in 224 years, gay marriage is now a front page issue? I think it is because the left has done a great job of massing gays into a collective political identity against which the right have no defense.

The threat is what the left might do with this collective. (see republicanmoms answer)

The conservative issue is simply that conservatives think, or try to think, in terms of individuals.

The left uses aggressive tactics to maintain the loyalty of gay, conservatives resist these tactics and the left portrays the resistance as simply 'anti gay'. Who invents term like 'homophobes'?

No shi@ the right has to fight back. But it's not a gay thing, it's a left versus right thing!

Another problem is that gay marraige rights will cost American business billions of dollars in increase benefit costs, like a minimum wage hike. Business traditional votes republican.

Answer 9

What gay's have is wrong and natural in the laws of man, Yes you can put things in a hole and it will fit, but it is not the way we as humans were created, the butt is for the explusion of waste and not to insert a penis, which a body part designed to propel sperm in to a vagina for the procreation of our species. I think you are also missing the fact that the Bible for a lot of people is not irrelevent, and this is where people find guidance and truth in their lives, just because it is not for you or others, doesn;t lessen the importance or relevence to those who read and beleive in the word of God in his son Jesus Christ. You are just as much putting you opinion and beleifs on this subject so you are off by asking those who respond to refrain from thier opinions. To your question about being married as oposed to promiscuous, what you meant to say is monogamous, married heterosexuals can be promiscuous, bieng married (it should) doesn't automatically mean that you are monogamous, it means you should be. Allowing gay's to marry does not ensure that they will be monogamous, any one regardless of their sexual preference can be guilty of promiscuity. I will never say that gay marriages are o.k., I understand that in the socitety that we live in today that at some point and time it will become legal, it is only a matter of time before this becomes acceptable and the norm in life, just like teen pregnancys and the divorce rate, but just because it becomes the norm or accepted, does not make it right, I will never be convinced of that. I will pray for the human race, because we need it. If you are offended by my views and opinions, well, honestly you asked for it, by posting it in a public forum.

Answer 10

While you say relious answers bring nothing to the conversation, it's no true. Only those with strong relious ties or beliefs opject. its like a white man saying i have no problem with a blackl man marrying a white woman as long as they don't have children. You ask him why not . He says where would the children go or what gfroup would they belong to. The idea is the same many would dislike the gays just because they are gay. Others would storm the government because it would not only legislate morality but many would say the are advocating being gay.