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Is it death? Is it not getting a divorce?

Do you think a successful marriage is trying your best for ten years but then falling out of love, or wanting to cheat and then bailing out,

Or
Is a more successful marriage being poor, cheating stints, abuse, alcoholism,
But staying married until either one of you die, well into your later years?

How do you think that people in the old days kept it together? And do you think their marriages were different?
That they never "fell out of love", wanted to cheat, actually cheated, were selfish, etc.?

Is it only a happy ending when neither partner ever did anything wrong in all 50, 60 or what have you years of the relationship and they both live until they are a hundred and die in each other's arms?

2006-10-26 03:44:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

20 answers

A successful marriage is one in which both partners love, honor, trust, and respect each other, every day...no matter what. It's one in which communication and compromise are a part of daily life. It's one in which both partners fight fairly, when they fight. It's one that lasts until death, and perhaps beyond.

It is not a business arrangement, and it's not a way to a better life.

2006-10-26 03:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0 0

veryone has a different perspective on what is sucessful. To me success in the marriage is staying together thru all the bad and good times and making it work until one passes on or both passes on. I think you can really call it a success when there is no cheating, abuse, etc. When you have respect, are open, communicate, have good relations (sex life), and generally love your partner. These can be rare these days because we live in a world where children are not taught the way marriage is suppose to work. Parents model for their children what they want for them when they grow up. If they see divorce, argueing, etc in their own parents lives then how can you expect them to know any difference. Marriage needs to be a serious commitment that is "Til death do you part". Too many young people jump into marriage with the wrong ideas or without much couseling. I am sure in the old days it was a lot like it is these days with people cheating, etc, but marriage in the past were taken more seriously than it is today. Times were different. I could probably write a book on the differences in the way the people thought and acted back then. We just live in a whole different world today when it comes to the value of marriage. I feel fortunate because I can say I have a sucessful marriage and I only hope and pray that it will last until "Death Do Us Part".

2006-10-26 04:02:33 · answer #2 · answered by hehmommy 4 · 0 0

Your description is not that of a successful marriage. A successful, fulfilling marriage occurs when both spouses are dedicated to making and keeping it successful. No abuse, ideas about falling out of love, cheating, etc. It's give and take on both sides.
In the 'old days' their marriages were different because expectations were different. They weren't bombarded with the media sensationalizing people like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They stayed together because it was what people were supposed to do - why else would those vows be worded that way? I don't remember any vows stating 'until something better comes along' or 'til things get tough'. People did cheat back then but they tended to keep it a bit more discreet and they still came home to their wives/husbands. Their was a stigma attached to divorce that doesn't exist today.

2006-10-26 03:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0 0

Old days you only see on t.v relationships weren't any different then they are now... Everything that happens in realtionships now happened then too. It was differetn then women didn't work if they did it was in a hore house after divorce and their husbands died. How were women supposed to support themselve and build themsleves a home and with what! so couples just satyed together for the pure fact, that was the mans responsibility was to take care of his wife till death do they part. of cource they cheated and had afairs and other peoples children.

I would have to say death would be my answer but successful and prefect are not the same thing. Successful and perfect are close but even when successful there is the underneath lining that no one knows about... The troubles and hard times...

You are in a messy situation and I honestly think I would see a counselor. It can't hurt any. I am sorry that your world as you knew it has changed and it sounds like you have been very supportive to your husband/wife. Anyway I am just saying with children involved as well I think I would seek guidance. I give you a lot of credit for being as supportive as you have been but I think it's time you started to think about you and support your feelings and your life! Also start thininking of your children they have a hole life ahead of them yet, why make things harder on them then they already are. I could just kick your husband... It just sounds like you have given and given and given well I think it's time you start giving something back to yourself.... He isn't.... and never will from this point on and deep inside you know that your great for dealing with what you have but enough is enough soon there'll be nothing left of you!!!! You give too much time to pamer yourself and make you feel good!

2006-10-26 04:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0 0

I dont even know what I am answering but i think that a successful marriage is one that brought/brings you closer to where your highest potential lies/lays/lives.

Divorce tends to always have that potential in it, because one of the things you might learn is that you should have stayed married and you realize what is and isnt important in life. Hard lesson but also potentially very rewarding for myriad of other cases where you really should not have stayed..

some would say a successful marriage shouldnt end. But more concern should be placed on "Did I do my best?/Am I doing my best?" Then if you let go the other person will make it painfully obvious that you dont belong together or come to their senses.

love

2006-10-26 04:00:23 · answer #5 · answered by lightlytread 2 · 0 0

a successful marriage is one that both parties try and work hard on their relationship and dont give up because that loving feeling is not there at the time,communication is very important and must be practiced at all times,the difference between now and the olden days is that its easier to get a divorce now,also back then i think there was more commitment on both parties,now hardly anyone wants to commit to there vows they think if something better comes along they will jump ship and go for it because they think their in love again

2006-10-26 03:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0 0

Death is the only feasible ending to a perfect marriage. Any other ending to a marriage is not perfect. Although things can go wrong in a marriage, the fact that you stayed and endured shows that you took your vows before God seriously. Leaving for abuse and adultery are the only other acceptable endings.

2006-10-26 03:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 5 · 1 1

No marriage is perfect ....but I just buried the wife of a friend
they had been married 74 years!!!! They fought...they argued....they didn't speak to each other for hours...but each night they fell asleep in each others arms...He died 8 days ago, she died 3 days ago. And as they lowered him into the ground she said ....I will see you soon ,,,she did not take her own life....I think she died of loneliness ...the end of a perfect marriage?

2006-10-26 04:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by Searching for answers 2 · 0 0

How can a marriage be successful if divorce, fornication, or any kind abuse is involved? It can't. The last comment would be the only feasible answer.

2006-10-26 03:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy B 2 · 0 0

It will end with whatever is ensured by the Constitution. Gay people are citizens and should be treated like everyone else. If straight couples' relationships are recognized by the government and given rights, benefits, and protections, then gay couples should get the same thing.

2016-05-21 22:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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