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My girlfriend that I work with is avoiding me completely since a blabbermouth let it out that I was pregnant. I was not even going to tell her because I know they have been trying to have a baby for many years now, and I did not want to be rude or insensitive...plus, I'm still rather shocked and upset about being pregnant again myself.

Strangely, she was very nice to me when I met her and I had my newborn, (now one year old) but another friend told me today that she said some cruel things about me and I don't understand because I went out of my way to help her when she first got here, and I thought we were better than this. We usually chat every morning and have coffee together, but not since yesterday after the word got out. I feel bad for her, but it took me many years to get pregnant with my first baby as well, and my husband has a very poor sperm count. I have been there before. I wish she would not be so mean to me, I won't even talk about "baby" anything. I'm not too excited.

2006-10-26 03:27:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

11 answers

That may be why she is mad at you. She may resent the fact that you are pregnant for the second time, and you aren't excited about it. Or, she may be mad that she heard it from someone else instead of you, especially since you know what she has been going through trying to conceive.

If I were you, I would talk to her. Ask her to lunch or to breakfast or something. Tell her that you just found out you were pregnant, and that you want her to understand that it wasn't planned, but you are happy. Tell her that it will happen for her eventually. Don't tell her that you are upset about it though, because it will make her even more angry. Not necessarily at you, but at life. She may just be frustrated that even though you have problems conceiving, you have done it twice. She may not be angry at you, she may just be angry and taking it out on you. Don't ignore her, talk to her about it. It's not rubbing it in, it's sharing with a friend.

My friend and her husband have been trying for almost a year now to conceive. I got pregnant by ACCIDENT the first night I was married. Ever since Sydney was born, she resented me a little bit, but I just let her be a big part of our lives, and she likes being around Sydney. It may help to invite her over to play with the kids.

Hope this helps! Good luck!!

2006-10-26 03:34:28 · answer #1 · answered by Heck if I know! 4 · 0 0

CONGRATULATIONS! For having another baby and for getting rid of a fake, shallow friend.
A real friend, prays for you and shares the joy with you even if she cannot have what you have.
A fake friend will envy you and give you the back when you need a friend the most.
So, CONGRATULATIONS!
I know that you need a friend. I am in the same situation. Here is a cultural thing- most people are like that. My only true friend is my GF and sometimes she does not fllow me to a certain point either.

I know how you feel. The only one that you can turn to is GOD. GOD as you perceive it and as you know and like to talk to him. No religious fanatism just GOD .

And hey , you might try a penpal. I know it is not the same. Try an anonuymous blog ;) this way you can release pressure. It works for many of us.

Gotta run back to work now. Nice talking to a fresh mom :)

Congrats again !

2006-10-26 10:53:48 · answer #2 · answered by butzunake 2 · 0 0

She obviously feels resentful, but it's not fair for her to be angry with you.

I would just continue to be nice to her, she'll eventually get over it. She can't be upset at everyone else for somehting she can't do. I can't ski, but I don't go around giving people an attitude who can just because I wish I could.

I know it's more meaningful than that, but it's the same essentially.

SHe has to deal with her feelings about this herself and if she were more mature, she'd be able to see that she's being unreasonable.

Maybe if you leave her a note letting her know that you are sympathetic to how she's feeling she may be able to come to some sort of terms with the situation.

Good luck and don't take her actions too personally.

2006-10-26 10:37:53 · answer #3 · answered by mutherwulf 5 · 0 0

Sorry to say this but she might never "forgive" you for being pregnant and her not being able to. All I can tell you is to let her work out her feelings and then she may decide that your friendship is more important than her holding a grudge for something you have no control over. Or your friendship may never be the same again. Either way good luck on your pregnancy.

2006-10-26 10:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by dixiefrogs 2 · 0 0

Typical women gossiping and being jealous of one another. Dumb de dumb dumb. Anyways the girls worthless, get a new friend there are plenty that aren't selfish jerks like this one. She is jealous plain and simple, so what do jealous shallow people do when they are vulnerable, they put you down to make themselves feel better about themselves. Quite disturbing when you think about how ignorant and mentally inferior they are, but its more common than you think. Let her go, those people should be treated like a grain of salt. A dime a dozen and not worth a damn.

2006-10-26 10:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by Murfdigidy 4 · 0 0

She probably is mad. She wants a baby and can't have one. I think it might actually have been better though, to tell her yourself rather than let someone else talk about it first.
Maybe after a few months, she'll be able to talk about it with you. If not, maybe it's time for a new friend.

2006-10-26 10:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by suzieq_64093 4 · 0 0

They are just being jealous and you are beginning to sound hysterical. It's normal. Next, you are likely to think your husband is having an affair. Try to get help from doctors soon before the condition become worse.






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2006-10-26 10:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

First of all I'm happy for you! A baby is a blessing from God. It seems to me that she wants all of your time. Your friend should be there for you so Sis, she is not your true friend. Good Luck!

2006-10-26 10:43:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mz. M 2 · 0 0

to much info. get new friend.

2006-10-26 10:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

get a new friend.... she should be happy for you

2006-10-26 11:12:20 · answer #10 · answered by STARS 3 · 0 0

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