Baby shower - to be or not to be???

Question

I am 27 and pregnant with my second child (first child is 12). Other than my husband, none of my family (or even his family) has been very supportive or offered any help (such as working on baby's room, buying items, etc.). Right now I don't really have many friends, I run a business and take care of my family and pets and that is about all I can fit in. The problem is I go to work (in three different counties) and people there are constantly asking me if I will be inviting them to my baby shower. Some of these people didn't pay a lick of attention to me until they found out I was pregnant. I never planned on having a baby shower and have been picking up needed items since I found out I was pregnant. I can't even afford to throw a party at this point since my insurance doesn't cover my pregnancy costs. So my question is - do I throw a party for all these people I don't really care for (my own family won't even be there) or just let it go and not have one???

Answer 1

It cracks me up when people talk about bad etiquette...Every new baby deserves SOME new stuff! And every mom deserves a shower if nothing else! So, if you want to throw yourself a shower, do so. If you don't feel like dealing, then don't. Next time someone asks you if you're having a shower, tell them no one's throwing you one. Maybe one of them will pick up the slack and surprise you. But regardless, good luck! I know there's no better joy than the day your little one arrives. My very best to you and your husband!

Answer 2

Well, When Igot Pregnant the first time, I didn't have any friends because I was working and never had any after that, My sister threw me a horrible Baby Shower at her house. There was no a/c it was soaking hot, dirty all over the place and I was embrassed, My mom friends were the only ones I invited and I was so ashamed. Nobody cared about my pregnancy except my obgyn and my husband, my inlaws went on vacation and they knew when I would deliver when they went to the Bahamas. My mom was there, but very scared for me, since I was so young. My dad wasn't there and I didn't call anyone to tell them the baby was born so payback was a *****. They asked why didn't you tell us, I said well you didn't seem to care about the pregnancy why would you care about the baby, I spent all of these 9 months developing the baby and you never asked how the baby was. So payback was a *****. The second time around, everyone cared and was very helpful. I would go out with your son and husband ask them to buy things for the baby shower, it's only two gifts, but it still means a lot. Sweetie, nobody helped me paint, clean, wash, take care of the Baby, nothing, and this makes you stronger inside. Only close nit families help out like that. Take care and good luck with everything, I know you will need it. You have your baby, Husband, and your first baby. That's all that really matters. How cares about someone if they don't care about the new baby coming in this world. NOBODY was there for his first year of life, and now everyone regrets it. Be careful, and make payback a *****. I had a friend for a while, and when she was pregnant I cleaned everything for her, so try to find someone that you can get every close to and relate to.

Answer 3

It sounds like you need the help -- emotional and monetary --- a shower can provide.

I was in a situation where my then fiance was in another country for most of my pregnancy, I didn't qualify for support from employment insurance and my parents had to take care of me. Though I was down about my pregnancy (and its ill timing in general) a shower really helped me see the joy in it.

Luckily, I had one friend that was kind enough to step forward and throw the party for me at her apartment. If you have one person you could share your dilemma with, they might offer to do the same.

Pregnant women need attention!!...even though you might feel it's badly timed, it's up to you to turn the attention into something you can use.

In my situation, I kept the invite list long (though I knew many of the people couldn't attend) and asked my friend to request people bring food as gifts. I also registered at a big department store so that distant friends and family could choose a gift even though they couldn't be there. It sounds mercenary, but I really needed help. It may help you too.

So, if you want and need a party, you'll find a way to have one.

Answer 4

well if it were me, i just wouldn't have one. i mean sure, you may not get all that stuff for your baby but why i have people there that you don't even like and especially when your family isn't gonna be there. i don't have a ton of friends either and so i wasn't gonna have a baby shower but fortunately for me, my church was nice enough to offer to throw me one so i ended up having quite a bit of people there and quite a few gifts. of course my family was there but i actually only had 2 of my friends show up. it was nice getting all that stuff because i got some things that i probably wouldn't have been able to get on my own. so i don't know your kind of in a tough situation. i mean if all those people or asking if your gonna have a baby shower, obviously they plan on getting you things for it because that's what a baby shower is all about. so maybe you should have one just so you can get the stuff, even though that's kind of using them but if you say they never payed you any attention before, then i guess it really doesn't matter. wow i don't know but whatever you do good luck with it!

Answer 5

Hi,

Wow... You sure sound really busy and I think you're amazing to handle all that. I guess you're a really nice person to actually consider throwing a party just because some people asked about it.

Personally, I wouldn't throw it because it's significance is not there at all. It's suppose to be a celebration for you and your new baby and it's suppose to be delightful and stressfree for you. I'd suggest that you politely tell them that you'll be not be planning a baby shower. You needn't even say why. But if anyone ask you can jokingly say that "I would have one if you'll sponser and plan one for me." I think that would get them to keep their trap shut for awhile.

In this rat race, don't forget that you need to take care of yourself too especially now that you're with a baby =)

Cheers! Hope this helps!! Just my 2 cents worth...

Answer 6

Has there ever been a need for an excuse to throw a party?

Showers are usually thrown for the mum to be by her family or friends, but if you'd like to have one, send some invites out.

Best medicine for the pregnancy blues and discomfort is laughter and happiness. Throw the party!

Answer 7

I always thought other people threw the baby shower for the mother to be. If one of them asks to be invited, let them know that you haven't had anyone offer to throw you one, so your not sure if you will have one, but if you do you'll let them know. Maybe they will offer. A baby shower can be fun to plan and if you have a group together that wants to go, they are the perfect choice to throw you one.

Have fun with your baby preperations.

Answer 8

Dont do it! Why would you have a baby shower for these people that you dont care about, if they were so interested they will trow you a baby shower. Use the money for your baby, The money you will spend on a baby shower you can use it to by the gifts you were going to get so dont worry about it, the only thing you will have left are pictures and you can do that by yourself.

Answer 9

Tell them you aren't having one that you know of, but you'd surely appreciate any gifts they offer.

The mother isn't supposed to organize her own shower anyway..... if the people in question want to attend a shower for you, then they should throw one themselves.

Answer 10

I agree fully with KATB, or do something fun like pregnancy pics with you and your son and hubby I think your hubby and son should make a day where it's all about you and the baby. Congrats and good luck!