People putting higher value on some things in marriage than others.
such as:
It's more immoral to betray than to raise your children without a father?
2006-10-26 02:49:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The truth is that we have adapted our lives to always thinking there is something better around the corner. Every year a different car a better tv. We are constantly bombarded with new and improved stuff. So we adapt this to our way of life. We have become relentless and unforgiving. I myself have never gotten married. I have not been able to find anyone I can communicate with. I also lose interest when people have no sustenance to there character. I think it is all in who you marry. The truth is that good people are hard to find.
2006-10-26 03:01:55 · answer #1 · answered by Daniel R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents have been married for over 50 years and instilled me with some excellent words of wisdom. They were honest with me about what I should expect from marriage and I have to say I think it has prepared me well. I've been married for 8 years and have every bit of intention of honoring my marriage vows now as the day I was married.
Here are some of the things my parents shared with me. First, marriage involves sacrifice and it is not always 50/50. There will be times in a marriage where it is more like you giving 90% and only getting back 10%. Second, my parents taught me that only one person can make me happy and that person is me. If I'm not happy, I shouldn't blame my spouse. I didn't get married thinking that my spouse would "complete me". It's my job too within my marriage to keep me happy. Third, my parents taught me that I'm not perfect. What a concept! So, when I start complaining about my spouse's faults they are always quick to point out that I have plenty of my own. This also involves the realization that people make mistakes even as far as adultery. I looked long and hard at my spouse before I married him. We had a lot of discussions about how we felt towards money, sex, children, etc.
These concepts contradict society's hethanistic values and the worship of self. Marriage is not honored and lifted up anymore as a result. Just look at what we see on TV and read in the newspapers. What wise person came up with the term "starter marriage". What a statement that makes!
2006-10-26 11:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by born2run 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's more because divorce is an easy fix. We've become a society with looser morals (check out the fantasy lives we're shown on television and how many of those relationships last) and too many people enter into marriage with the idea that if it doesn't work, you can always get a divorce. No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions anymore and no one wants to have to work for something. Marriage is not the easiest road in the world and you do have to make some "sacrifices" (not sleeping around, considering others, etc.).
I do think there are those that need to divorce. For instance, there weren't kids involved in my marriage but I did have an abusive husband.
2006-10-26 09:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Idealism? No. The ideal would be to place more importance on the family then the self. The high divorce rate comes from people placing more importance on the self. It's selfishness, not idealism.
It also comes from the foundation of the marriage. You can't have a strong marriage without a strong foundation. Marrying someone because of great sex is a marriage doomed to fail. Marrying someone because they are hot is a marriage doomed to fail. There must be a deeper commitment then the superficial. Hot is more important then communication. Humor is more important than commitment. Of course, the superficial comes back to selfishness.
2006-10-26 10:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are very materialistic these days and everyone seems to be trying to keep up with the Jones so to speak.People seem to be afraid of commitment or they jump into a relationship and get married because thay are in love but then realize they don't have any common goals or one person is willing to work on the relationship and the other person isn't. People are not willing to "commit" to "until death do we part". They seem to think they might as well get married coz if it doesn't work out there's always divorce. Instead they should think about what marriage really is before thay say I do.A contract between two people for life.
2006-10-26 09:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never realized how easy it was to get divorced till my ex filed papers on me. I wanted to work it out. It is a throw away society. When you think about it...when I was younger if the toaster was broken you took it and got it fixed. Now you throw it away and get a new toaster. They do the same with their marriage...if they are having problems and it isn't like it was when they were dating...they just divorce. Plus it just seems that once you learn how to divorce...you do it again. The rate of divorces in second marriages is even higher. I can see why since I am in a second marriage. You have their ex coming over all the time and you have their kids to deal with. You have to learn to turn the other cheek....count to 10.
This might sound really crazy, but people don't have time on Sundays to go to church. I think the values I learned from my parents and going to church gave me more respect for people.
2006-10-26 09:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No; it's due to people's selfishness and due to peoples' lack of respect for the vows they took on their wedding day. Marriage doesn't mean anything to people anymore, and I don't think couples are realistic about what a marriage should be. Even in a happy marriage there will be arguments and hurt feelings. It's how you deal with these situations that counts. If you decide BEFORE you get married that divorce is NOT an option, there should be no problem. And if you can't look at you relationship and know that divorce isn't an option then you aren't ready to get married.
2006-10-26 09:56:51 · answer #7 · answered by kealey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People are much more selfish now than they were, and commitment just isn't important any more. It's very easy to divorce someone with no reason whatsoever. No fault divorce was an awful law to inact. People choose not to talk to each other, as it's just easier to divorce. But they don't stop to think of what it does to the kids, themselves, the spouse and related friends and family. Communication is the key and being flexible, not always wanting your way is also vital.
2006-10-26 10:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by daj11551 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The high divorce rate could be the result of many things including lack of compatibility, lack of communication which are very critical keys needed to a successful marriage.
And time and time again, people are marrying for all the wrong reasons, meaning if you marry just for money, what do you expect your marriage to be like.
If you get married because your pregnant and just for the baby, what do you expect your marriage to be like.
Again , many marriages fail because of lack of compatibility and communication which is the breeding grown for marital affairs.
If your compatible, you will have the same ideals of what you want out of life and if you communicate, you let each other knows what it is that bothers you to resolve it before the marriage crumbles.
2006-10-26 10:00:10 · answer #9 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of factors in the divorce rate, obviously, and that certainly is one of them.
Marriage has become disposable. Some think of it as temporary.
There is too much emphasis on the wedding itself and a lot of people get caught up in that instead of learning what marriage is all about.
This is just a partial list.
2006-10-26 09:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by kitten lover3 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋