Hi, im really worried about my situation, im pregnant to an 18 yr old which is my long term boyfriend we both want the child and with his job it would be finacially ok. Can my mum force me to have an abortion? are there any legal rights she has to involve the police and gt him arrested? i didnt think he could be arrested for rape without me pressing charges. IS there any way this would all work? i really need to kknow this so i know what to expect. Have i got legal rights to leave home as my partner is 18? Please answer my questions as i feel confused not knowing what to do. If people wish to critise please do so as harsh feedback could also help. Thank You xxx
2006-10-26 01:35:58 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Hi if u live here in britain your mum cant make u have an abortion and the law cant do anything to your boyfriend if you consented to sex with him. My daughter was the same age as you and her boyfriend was 19, They decided to have their baby she is 8 months old now and i totally adore her, they have their own home now and are very happy, its your decision make sure u do the right thing for yourself ok. I am sure your mum will be ok.
2006-10-27 23:03:26 · answer #1 · answered by textkitten 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of this really depends on the state you live in. No one can force you to have an abortion. Once the child is born, in many states you can be emancipated (legally become an adult). I don't know that you can leave to be with him now, although being pregnant may give you the right to marry without parental consent.
Be patient with you parents. They are going to be getting quite a shock. It may take them time to work out their feelings. I imagine they will have some hostility to your BF. You'll be a parent soon, try to imagine how you would feel if your son or daughter were in this position 15 years from now (and you'd be grandma at 30).
Hopefully your parents will come around-it should help when they see the baby. You are going to need a lot of support.
ps I think he may still be vulnerable to being tried for stautuary rape. The logic is that you are too young to give consent.
2006-10-26 02:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by meltee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you being in this situation. A friend of mine slept with a 28 year old man when she was 17 and fell pregnant with his child. She was very close to this man and they were considered the best of friends. BUT when push came to shove, she knew that she had a University application being processed and a long life ahead of her. She had an abortion and quite frankly she made the right decision in my eyes. You have to consider what is more important to you. Your life, which is blessed beyond belief, with a mother who cares so much for you, a boyfriend who is either head over heels in love with you or extreemly scared. Do you really want this baby, does he really want this baby, are you able to look after and support a new born baby. And please remember that although your son or daughter will be a gorgeous bouncing baby for a year or so, you will have many problems along the way.
Mentally you are probably capable of coping with SOME of the stresses and strains of being a mum, but physically you're body will be under massive pressure. A 25 year old woman who falls pregnant is putting their body through so much so imagine how much pressure yours is taking at only 15 years old. You are still so young my darling. I'm only 18 myself but i feel so much more grown up now than i was at 15. I am living independantly at university, studying for a degree, studying for a future. Please consider what you are throwing away if you have this child.
The people that are having a go at you for considering an abortion are plain mean. You have to forget the moral implications of terminating a pregnancy and do what is right for you. I wonder what they would say if you were the victim of a rape and the pregnancy could kill you, would they still take the moral high ground and tell you that you shouldn't have the termination....something tells me they wouldnt.
Which ever decision you take will, inevitably, lead to some back lash, but be strong, and follow your heart.
Good luck and I really hope everything sorts it's self out for you. Don't be pressured by anyone but also remember that you don't have forever to make your decision.
Good Luck again.
2006-10-26 02:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is obviously a REALLY stressful time for you and your boyfriend, so will getting quick advice from here will get answers quick, you will be as well going to your doctors, school counsellor or priest for advice/guidance.
But to answer some of your questions...
* No your mum can't force you to have ANY medical procedure (including an abortion). If you are competent to give consent your consent is required (do a google for Gillick Competency)
* I think there is a chance your boyfriend could be prosecute for rape as you are a minor, but given you are 15 (ie almost legal) it's unlikely.
* While it seems like your parents don't understand and you want to leave home, give them time to come around, understand & help you. Parents are the most forgiving people in the world -- they just need a little time.
Good luck and take care x
2006-10-26 01:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by e404pnf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear about your predicament, though i must add "long term" for many people is several years.
You cant forced to have an abortion, but its something you should weigh the pros and cons up over, can you really support this baby, most guys run away when you have a baby and not married. How long have you known your pregnant?? How far gone are you. You may be able to convince yourself that its not a baby yet or you would have to give it away, conversley you may also regret it for the rest of your life. Only you can make the decision. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, a baby is for life, not just for xmas!
How old your partner is, has no real relevance.
He could be charged with "sex with a minor" but someone would have to bring charges. but may get off - see newspaper article.
"A 36-YEAR-OLD Hertford man who had sex sessions with a 15-year-old girl he met on the internet has escaped a prison sentence.
A judge ruled that the teenager was "clearly out for sex" and had taken a leading role in the affair.
He gave Martin Bailey, of Villiers Street, a two-year community sentence instead of custody when he appeared at Warwick Crown Court last Wednesday for sentencing. He had pleaded guilty at an earlier hearing to four counts of sexual activity with a child.
Prosecutor Louise Pierpoint said that the pair met through an internet chat site on their mobile phones last August. The girl said she was 17 and they exchanged intimate text messages.
They arranged to meet in the teenager's home town of Bedworth, Warwickshire. Although she admitted on the eve of the meeting to being 15, the rendezvous went ahead anyway."
2006-10-26 01:46:51 · answer #5 · answered by budda m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear dear dear. You are in a mess, but don't worry it is not the end of the world. I am sure that your mum would not force you to get an abortion if you don't one. (she can't legally anyway) just as I am sure that she will be your best friend and offer you the best help and love and support. I don;t think that you should get married just yet you are both very very young. You must get some kind of professional help to see your options. Maybe you could stay at home with you mums help to bring up the baby and wait a few years before getting married. Take a long talk with you boyfriend and you parents and also his parents. I am sure in the end they will all help you and be over the moon with their mum grand baby. Good luck lovely.
2006-10-26 01:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by London Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your mom can charge him with statuatory rape b/c of your age. The reasoning behind that is that you are so young that you were taken advantage of. I was 17 and so was my boyfriend when I got pregnant and trust me it is a very difficult situation. We fought so much we even broke up and I was left on my own for a while except that I had excellent family support. I knew that having an abortion would destroy me, especially since I was pro-life up until then and my views didn't change just b/c it was me, although my dad did pressure me to have one. My boyfriend is now my husband and we are very happy and just had our second child, but trust me this is not typical. I know several people especially with ages such as your situation that did not work out at all for either partner and the child is suffering. I considered adoption since I was anti-abortion and had to think about the child's well-being. About whether I could provide everything for her and if I was mature enough to have someone depend on me for the rest of my life. I was fully prepared to do it myself and you should take that into consideration before you rely completely on your boyfriend to take care of you. Just make sure you finish high school if you decide to raise the child. There are usually a lot of programs to help out people in your situation for while you're pregnant and afterwords such as childcare so that you can continue your education. So ask your school councilers and try talking to your mom about how you feel to see if she might be able to understand and might give you some support for while you're pregnant. And don't get married for the 'child's sake' because getting divorced when they're 5 and kind of understand what's going on isn't in their interest or yours.
By the way I'm not sure how it's done, but there is a way to legally seperate yourself from your parents before you're 18 but it is done through the courts and they have to decide that you are mature enough to do so. It's something to look into according to what state/country you are in and there may be a minimum age of 16 so you may have to wait a year to do so. I don't recommend seperating yourself from your parents, you don't want to alienate grandparents and people who could support you.
2006-10-26 02:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by A W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that is illegal here in the UK. And, tbh, you're just another ******* whore like me. I lost my virginity at one day after turning 15. I cant say anything that it's wrong (which it ******* is) because I got pregnant at 15. I'M STILL 15 BY THE WAY.
It was protected sex that me and my boyfriend had, but the condom must of broke.
Your mum/mom/mother/mam/whatever-you-call-her, can't force you into abortion. That's your choice. If you allowed it, then I don't think your boyfriend would get in trouble with the police.
So yeah. Anyway, if you were ready, you were ready. You can't be forced into sex, that's literally rape, by the way.
15 and pregnant buddies..? xD
2014-09-02 13:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by A Person. Yay :D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last thing I would want to see you do is have an abortion. If none of your plans work please give your baby to a hospital or police station with no questions asked. I am against an abortion for any women unless it is a health hazard or it is the result of rape.
In don't believe your parents can force you to have an abortion because the father is over 18. Best of luck to you. I would really look on the web and check with your state to see the regulations.
2006-10-26 06:04:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not 100% sure but I think that your parents can press charges for him having sex with an underage child as you are still a minor.
If you'd have been 13 or under the police would charge him with statutory rape without anyone pressing charges.
Your boyfriend is an adult and he should've known better than to have sex with you before you were 16.
I don't think that your mother will be able to force you to have an abortion.
2006-10-26 01:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by kerrie h 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋