please help.. if you are a christian - Please do not answer.. if you are not, please do not be insulting towards them..
My gf goes to church (i mean, not just attends.. she is pretty serious at times).. And I just want to get the thoughts of 'it's wrong' out of her head.. Because I know they are always there.. Even when we are making love.. And I know they drag strength and joy out of her.. and out of our relationship, which otherwise is so .. full of love..exciting.. intimate.. caring.. The problem is also that she is a very responsible person, and wouldnt give up the 'ministries' she does for her local church, because people depend on her.. For me, it means more or less constant brainwashing and exposure to what is 'righteous and good'... And her pushing me away.. What do I do....
2006-10-26 01:25:53 · 16 answers · asked by mwade 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There are some really great Gay Christian websites out there, one in paticular actually helps to dispell the all too often mistranslated texts and explains what may actually have been meant.
http://www.whosoever.org/bible/index.html
This goes over just about every "slam passage" and dispells their supposedly "anti-gay" bent and shows them in a much more logical way.
Hope this helps.
LOVE IS NEVER A SIN
Expressing your love for your partner, especially in a monogomous and committed relationship, is never wrong.
Nowhere in the Bible does it have even one example of a committed, loving homosexual relationship, why?
Logically it's quite simple.
Those who wrote the texts of the Bible had no experience in knowing any committed, loving homosexual couples.
Even a "prophet" can't write about something of which they have no experience or knowledge.
I hope these help, blessings to you both.
2006-10-26 03:03:10 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can be a Christian and be gay too. I consider myself to be a Christian and I am in a very committed same-sex relationship. I do not think you need to badger her about being a Christian, though. Personally, I feel like we all need God gay or straight! This isn't a battle that you need to fight. You are going to have to let her work through this herself. What I would do is try to find some books for her to read that let her know that she CAN be a Christian and continue her ministries AND be in a relationship with you. Don't cut her down for this, ok? That will make her more rebellious against you! Direct her to the Metropolitan Community Church website. This is a real live church that believes in the power of God and they are GAY!!!! I hope you both can find some peace and a happy medium with this issue.
2006-10-26 03:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can be Gay and still believe in God. If your gf enjoys helping others through her church or anywhere else she should be admired and shouldn't be criticized for it. However, if she attends a church that is anti-gay or anti same sex marriage, she is not being true to herself or your relationship if she allows the verbal attacks against her lifestyle from the pulpit or other parishioners go unanswered.
There are many churches that are completely gay friendly. You should try to convince her to try one of those other churches. She can continue her ministries, as you called them, in the new church and feel needed and wanted at the same time. Perhaps you could even suggest that you would go with her if she would like that.
My partner and I have attended the Metropolitan Community Church and enjoyed it immensely even though we are not religious people. They praise your relationship instead of criticizing and belittling you. We were genuinely surprised how comfortable we felt, specially since we both have such strong feelings against the bigotry and hate normally preached in some churches.
You say the church is pushing your gf away from you. Just be sensitive to the fact that you may be pushing her away because of the enjoyment she receives from her work at the church.
Good luck and best wishes to the both of you.
2006-10-26 02:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by roqofages 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am not religious but like most people my age (53), I was raised that way. I have no argument with them, I just don't have the fears or questions that religions are created to answer. However my partner is a born again christian, and at times in her life has been caught up into those cult like massive mega churchs.
She has a need for her religion. It brings her a grounding that nothing else in her life does on a spiritual level. However, I will not tolerate it in my home. (we live seperately right now, each with a grad student living at home). I compromised by finding a MCC church in our town and we go occasionally. I go with her because I happen to like to see GLBT in a place where we can love, show affection and worship side by side with no prejudice. Metro Community Church's are all over the world. They minister to the GLBT (and everyone in between) community.
There is a beauty and a freedom to see a man in women's clothing offering communion with no hate and complete serenity. Even for a non believer, this is a good place to be. I gave her the choice of becoming a member, and she's satisfied simply going once in a while to worship. I get to sit among my peers and hold her hand right out there in the open. What's better that?
Do a search, see if you can find one in your area, and tell her you would like to visit. Hopefully she can see that she is a child of the god she believes in, and does not have to put up with hiding it from other church members and being vilified for love.
2006-10-26 02:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
http://www.godmademegay.com is a great website she should go to.
Keep in mind though, that the Bible could never state that homosexuality is wrong, because that term never existed in the time period when the Bible was written. In fact, they didn't even have a concept of homosexuality. The Bible, whenever it mentioned the act of homosexuality, mentioned paganism (or nature worship) in the same verse.
In paganism, homosexuality was a practice to please the gods and was a common practice of ritual, but nothing else. Those who wrote the Torah and the Bible wanted to discourage people from worshipping other gods, hence the "mentioning" of homosexuality.
But the word homosexuality wasn't around until 1869. That is centuries after both the Torah and the Bible were written. So whenever the word homosexuality appears in the Bible, it is wrong.
2006-10-26 03:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you can steer her towards a church with more tolerant attitudes. (Which means you'll have to develop a more tolerant attitude toward her church-going as well. I understand--I used to think the phobes were the only game in town as far as Christianity goes, too. They're so noisy!)
Anyway, try the Metropolitan Community Church (it was founded by a gay man as an alternative), the Unitarian Universalists, and, in some towns, the Methodists or Episcopalians. Some churches may advertise in your local LGBT paper, too. Go with her; she'll love it and love you for it! They'll have ministries for her to participate in and would love to see her there, believe me, only they'll be nice to her and not condemn her or make her hide.
I started out as the guilty girl going to church, and I'm Pagan now. So I'm going to link to my story of the night I left the Assemblies of God for good.
2006-10-26 01:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm a Christian. Guilt is something we are pretty good at. I get past it all by choosing to believe in a God who made me the way he intended. Try to respect her faith and remember that what you see as brainwashing will have been part of her life for a long time. Hopefully she'll get past it without having to lose her faith. I wish you both the best of luck xx
2006-10-26 07:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by tara_365 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple of books at home. I know the titles, and I think that you can find them both on Amazon.com. The first is called "What the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality". It is pretty technical and reads a little bit like a masters thesis in languages, but it is very detailed and very thorough in explaining issues like mistranslations and contextual explanations of what the Bible really says.
The second is called "The Children are Free". It is a much easier read, with the explanations given for those of us who have trouble following detailed, complicated arguments. This one doesn't go into quite as much detail, and it focuses on the issue of what the Bible says about loving, caring, homosexual relationships, which is what it sounds like you have.
I hope that these can help you. I believe you can find them both at Amazon, but I might have ordered them from "A different light" bookstore in California. I don't remember exactly.
2006-10-26 02:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Suggest to her finding a church that is "friendly" and possibly she will be able to keep her faith, which she has every right to have and should not be forced to abandon, and you. There is a church like that near where I live so I know they exist. Dont judge and condemn the entire Christian faith Tootz.
2006-10-26 02:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by J D 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
christians, by definition, should be compassionate to everyone, regardless of that person's sexual orientation, skin color or whatever.
Unfortunately, that not the case with a good number of Christians.
If your girl really wants to go church, there are christian churches that do not discriminate sexually or otherwise. I would suggest searching one out, and perhaps the two of you could find a healthy balance of your lifestyles, and live happily.
2006-10-26 01:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by johnny come - lately, esq. 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋