9 years ago coming out of a 2yr relationship, I had a brief encounter with my gorgeous work collegue 'Tom'. At that time there were two of us vying for his attention, I got him but i was confused at the time & went back to my ex for another 2 unhappy yrs. I left work then. Fast forward I'm married (1yr) to a great man we have 2 children, I've been working back in the same building as "tom" for the last year. He married the other girl and they now have two children as well. I'm devastated. I'm in love with 'tom' though would never let it show. There is something there i can feel it. I would never break my family unit up. I couldnt do that to my children. I just need help in figuring out what to do with these strong feelings i have for him. I feel i should of kept him when i had him.
2006-10-26 00:21:48 · 13 answers · asked by amy w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Life is full of "if only's" life is also full of opportunities lost ... something we just have to live with ... IF you'd stayed with Tom in the first place your whole life would have been different ... for starters ... you wouldn't have the two beautiful children you have now ..... and he wouldn't have his ..... sure you may have had some together but they would be different kids
Short answer ... either deal with your emotions by locking them away out of sight (you can't help feeling the way you do but theres more here at stake than just you) or if you find that too difficult ... get another job elsewhere ..... any other solution just spells heartache for too many innocent people
2006-10-26 00:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them and focus on what you have right now in the present. You already stated that the present is not worth giving up for the past. Besides a 'breif encounter' may bring about lust which is often confused with love these days but, do realise that lust is lust. It's very possible that you don't even know "Tom" that well. Imagine him as a closet alcoholic or something unappealing. If you really can't deal with it and do not want to risk losing your family and your relationship with your husband for something that most probably won't work out with "Tom", you should look into finding an alternate place of employment to get away from temptation.
2006-10-26 07:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does "Tom" feel the same way that you do? I doubt it. You are married to a great man and you have 2 wonderful kids, so don't f*ck it up. Think about what you would lose if you tried to pursue a relationship with "Tom". You could lose your husband, your home, and possibly your children. Is it worth it????? Hell NO!
2006-10-26 07:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by mesierens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it's hard to switch love on and off. but it could be sparking because you two aren't together. sometimes forbidden is more exciting. you are married to a great man. do you love him too? maybe you could get some romance back into your marriage, if your husband was there and had married someone else with two children, would you have feelings then? or is it just for 'tom'?
2006-10-26 07:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by sleepyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well guess what? You are too late. Of course you dont want to break up your family, but that is not the only relationship you would be hurting. He has moved on so leave him be. If you are not happy with your husband then leave, do not stay for the childrens sake you will only cause more harm than good.
2006-10-26 07:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is just because she has him and we all get a little bored with marriage but please do not ruin your relationship with this husband. Have first of all respect for yourself and it is not healthy to be now fantasizing about this famous "TOM" !!!! he is just with good looks and now is married and is off limits!!!
We all like to dream the impossible, it is exciting and it makes us feel very young. But the consequences, can be devastating and disappointing, please just remember him as your past and your present. You wrote that you are married to a wonderful man . Do you know what i means to have met someone like that. Don't ruin you life for some hours of passion, try to stir up th passion with your husband. Take a trip to Europe and travel if you can
You need to have some time with your husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-26 07:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by marque1717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe start by asking yourself do you love your present partner?
Then the next thing for peace of mind, is to move on, by actually moving on! Find a new job, move to a new area. Do not become the other woman and do not make your family pay, for what is at this stage just a fantasy...
2006-10-26 07:27:39 · answer #7 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past is past and it's gone .... Foccuse on your own family ...
Do you think that he is now thinking about you as you do ? Why sould you think about somebody who maybe forgot you ....
You say your man is great .... you have 2 children ...so what else can you want ? Live the real life and if it is a happy one , keep it with any price !!
2006-10-26 07:27:41 · answer #8 · answered by alina d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your just feeling a little jealous,because someone else has him. Put your energy and thoughts into making your marriage the best it can be. What can you do to make your husband more happy? Romance him and you and everbody will be happy. Hope this helps.
2006-10-26 07:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to weigh the options like welfare of ur children, ur present family, family of the other person(s) and ur own physical requirements etc.
2006-10-26 07:25:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋