My friend Lisa got married 2 David a few years back. It lasted about a year and they got a divorce. Lisa wanted the family (i'm included in the family) not to have anything to do with David anymore. We didn't want to end the friendship with David, so Lisa now doesn't talk to us.
Only yesterday i got an email from David saying he wanted to cut ties with any of his female friends cause he had found his true love that he wanted to spend his life with. We're not to email, phone or message him.
I've been abit upset about this cause i thought he was a great friend. We only saw him two weeks ago when he told us about his new g/friend.
Do I have a right to be angry? He rang and said he didn't want to hurt us. But he has. I feel like i've lost my best friend. I don't understand why we can't be friends anymore. He rang and said he doesn't want to lose our friendship, but the way he went about it, really hurts. We can't even visit him without g/f being there. (that's if we hear from him)
2006-10-24 22:47:39 · 18 answers · asked by Eva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I want to respect him by not emailing, calling etc. But i really want him to know how hurt we are. I feel like our friendship was only wanted till he found some else.
I really don't know that i'll want to see him if he contacts after a few months.
2006-10-24 22:51:43 · update #1
In a friend way i want it to work out for him, but in another i don't, so he'll have to come crawling back.
2006-10-24 22:54:03 · update #2
You have every right to be hurt. I don't know if his new g/f is controlling and not allowing contact with female friends or if he's cutting ties with ex's family and friends. Either way, if it bother's you so much that you can't just let go, write a letter explaining your feelings and send it to him. That doesn't violate the "no phone, email or messaging" rule per say and you may get some relief from at least getting your feelings out. You may not see or speak to him again but at leats you will have gotten it all out. Sorry he hurt you.
2006-10-24 22:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by when's my next vacation??? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sad, I think - not angry. It does sound a little immature to me that he wants to cut his ties with 'all female friends' - especially as I suspect you are a 'good friend' and not a 'significant' one! I wonder if this g/f has insisted that he cuts all ties with other female friends. If that's the case, it's she who is immature and insecure but that may well be the very reason that he has fallen in love with her.
I think the best thing to do is to write to him, saying that you respect his wishes but would like him to know that you want to still continue as a friend and will be there if he needs you. Wish him all the best from your heart with his new g/f.
It's probably best to play down your hurt feelings. Hurt feelings are (I'm sorry to say) 90% the result of a misunderstanding on the part of the hurt person - though I am not having a go at you for that!
What you just added suggests that you do have a problem with hurt pride that you need to address. That really is YOUR problem not his! If you are feeling that you may not want to see him if he contacts you again, that suggests very strongly that you are NOT being a good friend. A friendship that depends on the other person being nice to you is not a true friendhip. It seems to me that he has gone about things a little clumsily but with honest intent. You are the one who has taken it harder than you need to.
2006-10-25 05:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by Owlwings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, looking at it from David's point of view, I'd say he's feeling pretty lucky. Some people go through their whole lives without finding love. Apparently this guy's found it twice. I don't know his history, but he might've had a bad experience with his first marriage that could've led him to feel the need of cutting off ties with other females. (Like false accusations perhaps?) Or simply, his new love could be the really jealous type. Although this behaviour seems pretty immature to me, but it seems that he's trying everything not to screw up the second time.
I'm sorry you lost a good friend. I hope everything works out eventually
2006-10-25 05:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by OrdiNance 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be sad and angry, because neither David nor Lisa have proved to be true friends.
The only thing you can do is put it down to experience and get on with your life, and in the future hope that the friends you make prove to be more mature than these two have.
2006-10-25 06:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by langdonrjones 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This entire story sounds very immature. I would suggest that it is time to move on and let time heal the wounds or it will never be healed. You should never let someone else control your emotions. You control your emotions and being angry will do you no good.
So I would just move on and find new friends that come without strings attached.
2006-10-25 05:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to your emotions, but his priority is his girlfriend. Just like your priority was your friendship with David over the one you had with Lisa.
2006-10-25 05:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
"an email from David saying he wanted to cut ties with any of his female friends cause he had found his true love that he wanted to spend his life with. We're not to email, phone or message him."
What a dick. Yeah, this is human nature: we find 'true love' we completely break off contact with everybody. I say again: what a dick.
2006-10-25 05:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand ur sentiment. But I think he has some pressure from his new g/f. And to make this relation on, he is compromising with his own life. I don't know whether it would work or not, but I feel pity on him. And to my opinion, this type of person is only capable to receive sympathy, not anger.
2006-10-25 06:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by dnagsarkar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk! Well that just goes to show you who your true friends are I have been there myself and at the time I was upset but, slowly I realized that if they could do that to me what else could they do ya know.....Sooner or later you'll come around an realize that you don't need someone like that in your life move on and make the most of your life....Lifes to short sweetie
2006-10-25 05:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by MiZaLiTy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes this is completely ridiculous, sounds like David is desperate and gives in to a controlling gf.
2006-10-25 05:49:09 · answer #10 · answered by wotsifish 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋