always staring other girls all the time........I am not able to respect him and this thing is killing me from inside and is making me insecure about everything about myself.I have discussed this thing with him a lot many times that whatever he does disturbs me a lot......but he says that he never does it consiously,we have been married for 2 yrs now and he is like this from the time we married.
I am having a real hard time with all this and even after trying so much I am not able to get over it.please help
2006-10-24 22:38:23 · 16 answers · asked by xyz_111 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All men look but there's certainly a difference between being discreet and being disrespectful about it and your husband sounds like he's not respecting your feelings. U can ask him not to do it in front of u because this makes u feel insecure and he should respect that. U can't make him stop completely unfortunately, but u can ask him not to be so obvious about it, especially in front of u.
2006-10-24 23:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are confusing LOOKING at another woman with CHEATING on you. Sorry thats just not the case. ALL men look at other women. Period. Its just the way we are. We dont mean to be disrespectfull and it doesnt mean we will cheat on you or we want that girl. If there is a pretty girl walking by we just automatically take a peek , it almost happens automatically. I wouldn't be so upset about it. You must have issues of your own to let it bother so much. Has he ever cheated on you for real? If so thats a reason to be concerned. If not dont try to invent infedelity where it doesnt exist. You seem very insecure. try to be more confident about yourself and realize its totally normal. Talk with him again and ask him to try and refrain from doing it. But seriously its important to keep in mind its totally innocent and meaningless and you wont find many guys that dont do it. Most of us are able to not do it right in front of our wife or gf though and he should do the same. Maybe you should start checking out guys in front of him and see how he likes it.
2006-10-24 22:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't really think that is such a problem to worry about. Men do this all the time. I usually do it. Actually my girl friend always asks me why do I have to stare at other girls. As your husband puts is it is not done intensionaly. This is one of the behaviors that men show. It is not related in cheating or other interest. Its is as simple as that. so if you are quoting this reason for your husband that he is not loyal to you, you are absolutely wrong... wrong... wrong...
You need to have more evidence than this one inorder to know if he is cheating on you. See other things. If not he is the one for you and I am sure he really take care of you.
As I told you I do that all the time though my girl friend may not like it but she knows I don't have any thing beyond that.
2006-10-24 23:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he acting as such only now or even priorly 2?
Try to be more attractive and not so rulling type on him. Don't treat him like a guy and try to reach him mentally and discover what is he really meaning by staring at other girls...Don't give him wrong, but ask him-indifferently- what did he find nice to this or that girl and act
normally, cause life is a game and if you're not a part of that game, you'll be lost, off campus. Be more openminded and play with him and converse about girls, not overdoing it,though...!
Ciao......John-John.
2006-10-24 22:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with your husband, I want you to appreciate that fact. You both love each other acording to your statement and that takes care of everything else. The guy is simply 'addicted' to what he is doing for now but that doesn't mean he can not change. What you may have to do is to just see that as part of him and refuse to let it bother you! If it doesn't bother him it shouldn't bother you. Instead give praise sto the Lord that you are still together and expect that the Lord will perfect everything. People like that are not yet 'stable' but with your help and love (not jealousy) he will come round.
Good luck.
2006-10-24 22:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sage_Learner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears you and your husband need to communicate on a healthier level. You have got to understand the make up of a man and he has got to understand the make-up of a woman, There is nothing wrong with looking, but staring is disrespetful. If he realy loves you he needs to curb his animal instict to look in your pressence, if he cant then you both need to discuss the issue like loving adults. Because his main purpose in life should be to make his wife feel special. I reccomend the book " Women are Venus Men are from Mars". Also the first 5yrs of marriage are the hardest
2006-10-24 22:58:54 · answer #6 · answered by MeToo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you walk down the street with him, express how gorgeous some other guy is and say... I'd like one of those for Christmas.
See what kind of reaction you get..
Did it make him jealous? Throw a little back at him
2006-10-24 23:28:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are prone to look .
We think the female body is beautiful and look at what attracts us .This is a very bad habit when we are in a relationship.
Its very hard to control
I don`t know how to help you .You both may need to go to counseling.
2006-10-24 22:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you should try to do go and see a counsille in your marriage because thatsa bad sighn mostly he his a married man, please do something now before it too later.the other thing is you knew his behavour for the day of your marriage so why you did not leave him because he will be whose than now or maybe have a relationship outside marriage so find help as soon as you can?i wish you all the best
2006-10-24 22:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by mima t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest giving him a taste of his medicine. It can work you know! It worked for a friend of mine. Her boyfriend would always check out girls. So one day i told her "Start checking out guys right in front of him". Sure enough, he would get mad, then he realized he had been doing the same thing and stopped. Hope I've helped :).
2006-10-24 22:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋