my case has gone nowhere, divorce in yr and half?

Question

she doesnt work, has the kids 55% to my 45%, share custody, she does nothing with the 3 kids, I have the 9&10 in music lessons, playing soccer, religion, do their homework with them stay home my two normal days with the 3 yr old boy, I run a business make the money, she hasnt worked for 10 yrs in our 12 yr marriage, she has never picked up or dropped off in 2 yr seperation once on exchanging the kids, she used to drink alot, a 12 pack of beer atleast a day, had seizures and I had them about 75% last year til family court services made this report and judge adopted instead of my concern of child safety, we each have two days and then alternate weekends, I just switched attorneys, I have had to already pay 10 k in legal to her sister who she hired for an attorney, I have spent 45-50 k and all we have is the house and businesss and 3 kids. She claims everything, abuse etc, with not one piece of proof, I pay $4100 mth child/spouse, yr and half & nothing solved, what to do???

Answer 1

Educate yourself. If you hire an attorney. It is your responsibility to tell them EXACTLY what you want. You have to know exactly what your willing to give. In terms of reaching an agreement. They can not read your mind, you can not expect the outcome that you want by hiring somebody to take car of it for you. It is about your life, and you are the only one that has the power to change your destiny. You have to adopt the attitude that you can win your case on your own. And do the work you think is required to take it to court, and present it to the judge yourself. That is what you have to do, you have to give the attorney the tools they need to win your case, you have to investigate, find, and show proof, with witnesses, photos, journals, notes, anything, and everything that may show you deserve what you are asking for, you do this and you are taking responsibility for your life, and for the truth, and for the children.If you merely are throwing money at a problem, it will only make you broke, and resentful and the Attorneys fat, and happy, you need to use the extra hours of overtime it takes to pay these attorneys, & do your own investigation, and evidence gathering. They are only there to do the paperwork required by the courts. It's up to you if it is to be successful, or not. It's your responsibility to the kids, and yourself. Let go of your disdain, and contempt, and drama of your marriage, grow up, and do what is right for your kids. The new year is coming, time to clean up the mess from your past, and start new, that's what I am intending to do for myself. Good Luck. May D force B with U!

Answer 2

I feel sorry for you as the outward appearances seem very grim and not likely to be resolved to satisfy you. Most of the street people I meet, are homeless, lost everything in a marriage bust up. They are men approaching middle age who have lost all prospects of rejoining society. In your case you need a complete makeover, because to continue on the same path your health is at serious risk. My first question to you is "Do you still love her?" and "Have you forgiven her, and asked for her to forgive you?" If there are any prospects for reconciliation, my advice is, "Do it" Failing all this then you are in serious trouble, because unless you swallow your pride and grovel, they will manipulate you to rob you of access to the children, and make you pay dearly even though you may be in the right. When you referred to the activities of the children you said, "religion" which indicates that you do not have a working relationship with Jesus otherwise you would not be ashamed of Him. The Bible says, "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." This does not mean to be afraid, but to pay attention to the one who laid down His life for you.