My girlfriend goes through stages of not wanting to have sex and when we do she says she wonders why she ever says no (for real!).. is this just a chick thing? What can I do to make her want it more often? We get on great, are in love and I treat her well - do alot for her, we have a 8mth baby and I always help with him after work at home.
2006-10-24 21:16:31 · 11 answers · asked by hello! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yeah I get what you are saying but I work a hard physical job all day and then come home and help look after him, so I kinda work 2 jobs.. and I'm still willing to be intimate!!!
2006-10-24 21:25:49 · update #1
We have been together 2 years.. dry spells are about 2 to 4 days
2006-10-24 21:29:23 · update #2
Sometimes even one week!
2006-10-24 21:30:27 · update #3
Poor girl is just tired probably. What she and you are coping with is pretty common.
That you ask for help is commendable and congratulations that you care so much. (About her pleasure or yours?)
Do you get up in the night to the baby?
Do you make her have a rest during the weekend (or some time when you can do the one-on-one with the baby).
Continue your loving ways and keep helping where you can. Your understanding and compassion are paramount.
Keep up the good work.
If you really can't go without....masturbate but tell her/ask her first how she feels about that. Or don't even mention it and do it privately. If all is as you say, she will be fine as long as you HELP with everything else.
Good luck.
2006-10-24 21:24:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jan Frost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dry spells of two to four days huh! wow! sometimes even a week. What are you trying for, an event? wouldn't it be more productive and more intimate to do it once, do it right and good and than sit back and say that's the best? or would you rather act like a dog and go for numbers.
Look Buddy: get a good porno movie on your wife's night out, something you've talked about first, something you'd both like. Have a nice meal and get a baby-sitter. I know a couple, a well known couple, that do this on Saturdays. They lock the door, take the phone off and, spend the day in bed together working out their fantasy's.
You have to remember, she's just as tired as you, give her a break and, women are not always receptive as men, they don't get aroused as easily or fast. Make it last, lots of foreplay. go slow, make her want it more like this, be a lover not a dog.
2006-10-25 04:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been together? An eight month old baby is a lot of work and this may have something to do with it. How long are the dry spells? Too many unanswered questions for me to give my opinion. Simple answer might look something like:
Quality versus quantity for some.
Quantity versus quality for others.
If you love her and your child the sex will come if it is meant to come...pardon the pun.
2006-10-25 04:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by pscassidy100 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your g/f some space, back off when she doesn't feel like being intimate. At some point she will start desiring you again and will begin to seek you out for sexual experience. Don't push her into having intercourse even if she likes it afterwards. Doing so could end up in a buildup of unconsious bad feelings that may lead to other things later on.
2006-10-25 04:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by cjmadden2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do girls always have to put out? You both have a baby to consider. You help but only after work. She is bonding with a baby. Then you have demands on her as well. Work out something reasonable, you can't act like the baby never arrived.
2006-10-25 04:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask your girlfriend what the reason is.Eh...I hate to say it but women's cycle can have an affect on their libido. It would be great if we could be in the mood on a daily basis, it really would!
Maybe you could try extending foreplay? Don't jump on it right away and don't worry, obviously she wants you and likes you
Perhaps wendyloo's right, it's to do with becoming a mum so recently (I wouldn't know about that)
You could always ask your girlfriend what the reason is.
2006-10-25 04:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by sirinae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel exactly the same way as your girlfriend. But if my fiance were to give me a relaxing massage, or run a bubble bath it nearly always leads to other things. This is a no pressure way to lead her to the idea that she may want it too. There is nothing more off putting than someone pestering you for sex.
2006-10-25 04:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is probably going through some hormnal things especially since she just had a baby 8 months ago. keep doing what u are doing and be patient with her and be sure to always communicate with her about your feelings and ask her about how she feels sometimes men are so quick to jump to conclusions and get frustated with the woman when they don't understand what is going on. It's not you don't blame yourself. just be patient and communicate good luck to you!
2006-10-25 04:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by FLOWERGRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get another in tow to fill the gaps. As long she never finds out no one will get hurt. Use a married woman it is safer and more fulfilling. Have fun and wear a condom xx
2006-10-25 04:21:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as soon as you said baby i knew why, she's tired and been a mum all day with nothing on her mind but that baby
2006-10-25 04:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋