Here is my situ, been in this relationship for a year, this man is 12 years older and is very riach. I live on my own and so does he, after dating for about 4 months, he started giving me money and furnished my house. bought me expensive clothes, shoes and a car even.
Then two months ago he went to see his sangoma who told him to marry me immediatly as my ex boyfriend would come back in my life and snatch me away from him. When he said this i actually laughed and thought it was silly reason to marry.
He got so upset and hit me, ,then and there i decided to have nothing to do with me, he begged and begged but i still resisted. Then he asked me to give him back all he ever got for me, i allowed him to come over and sweep my house.
Now he said he wants all the money back to, the money spent on trips, presents, shopping, all he has ever given me amounting to 75 thousand rands according to him.
He said he is actually suing me for this, Is he insane or should i be scared?
2006-10-24 21:11:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I actually was once in a relationship where the same thing happened to me. After the break-up, which came about after I had to get a restraining order, he tried to sue me to get back ALL the gifts he had given me, including clothing. The judge said that trips and things of the like were gifts and he could not be expected to ge them back. the judge said all clothing that fits me is mine to keep, and all clothing that fits him is his to keep.
This is a bullying tactic, meant to control and scare you. Call his bluff: tell him to go ahead and sue. DARE him to go ahead and sue! He will spend all his money just to try to prove a point, and he will lose! And WHEN he loses, he will have to pay all court costs, including yours, and pay ALL your legal fees.
Take it from someone who has actully been there: this guy is a bully, and he thinks he owns you. H eis just doing this for revenge because YOU dumped HIM! ALL judges can see past the "scorned lover" bit, and he will fool NOBODY! YOU are the one with the power, because you were sane enough to get rid of him.
2006-10-24 21:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there's the possibility you have reason to be scared, but not of being sued. Find an attorney who will give you some direction on what you should do.
He may not be the least bit insane, but that doesn't mean he isn't a potential and serious threat to you. Of course, the sangoma thing is a little on the peculiar side - but he could be lying about that. If he brought up the ex-boyfriend he's giving off unhealthy "vibes". The hitting-you thing is no minor matter either.
Yes - you should be scared I think. He sounds pretty questionable in the mental health department (although not insane).
2006-10-25 04:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is insane, and you should be scared.
But don't worry about the suing part because it's just not possible for him to do that.
He is probably just saying that to try and scare you, it might even come under blackmail.
Try and get yourself some legal advice and tell him to stay away and stop contacting you, if he doesn't comply (and tell him you will do this) get a restraining order.
I don't know if it's too late to report him for hitting you, it probably is.
You didn't need to return the things you already have as they were gifts. But at least you won't be reminded of him now.
You did the right thing getting away from him, good for you.
2006-10-25 04:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by Fluffy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he have any witnesses 2 prove that he has spent such a big account on u? Unless, just ignore him if only u have nothing more 2 lose. If he z a real vagabond, just leave the area 4 ashort period of time ok.
2006-10-25 04:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Loli 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry He doesn't have a leg to stand on, If the money was "Gifted" to you as it sound's it was there is no way you are required to pay it back, it is just his stupidity of being so flamboyant with his own money.. also if he hit you I would counter-sue if he does try to sue you.. and lastly he is probably doing this to spite you because you hurt him, or scare you to get back with him..
2006-10-25 04:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by channille 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the country you live in, but in the US, he's insane. He has no claim on any gifts.
The only way he could legally get the money, etc., back from you is if he has a signed contract saying it was a loan rather than a gift.
IANAL, etc.
2006-10-25 04:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Newton K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him sue you. Injustice will be danced upon.
What you got from him were spontaneous gifts. In no way are you obliged to return even those things you have already returned.
Such a man is dangerous. Be careful. You'd better sue him first for hitting you. Really.
Oh dear, I hope you'll be fine.
2006-10-25 04:13:38 · answer #7 · answered by curious 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what country you're in, but in the US if something is given as a gift, with no express verbal agreement of repayment, then the person doesnt have to legally repay anything
2006-10-25 04:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by el nombre 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
good for you getting out when he hit you,if you didnt he would have done it again,i wouldnt worry about him suing you they were presents and once you give something to someone you cant really have it back,he is just mad because you did the right thing and finished with him,tell him to get a life and stay out of yours now,there are a lot of lovely men out there that would never raise a hand to you find yourself one and move on dont let him scare you show him you are getting on with your life regardless of his threats good luck to you,but dont let his threat bother you
2006-10-25 07:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he can't sue you for gifts. do yourself a favor and stay away from him. change your phone number, and locks on your doors. if he keeps bugging you get a restraining order as he has already struck you once. Find yourself a decent man.
P.S. if your going to take money from a man understand he will treat you like he paid for you.
2006-10-25 04:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋