What do you think ?

Question

What is the most important five questions what you have to ask for yourself when you can´t decide if you want to stay with your man or not? Please let me know I need help!!!

Answer 1

Am I willing to spend the rest of my life with him?
Am I really happy with him?
Are we really compatible?
Is it really worth to keep him?
Do I still love him?

I want you to read this, this is long but this will answer all your question .



I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved.
But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage.
Something about the closure seems constricting, not
enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what
it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes
possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not
want to make a mistake.I saw my friends get married
for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever,
or just because they thought it was the logical thing
to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners
became embittered and petty in their dealings with
each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at
best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a
lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and
could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to
such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples
who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence.
They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon
each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It
was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.
How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many
years of sameness, so much irritation at the others
habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us
seem unable to even stay together, much less love each

other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There
is something to the claim of fundamental
compatibility. Good people can create a bad
relationship, even though they both dearly want the
relationship to succeed. It is important to find
someone with whom you can create a good relationship
from t! he outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see
clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the
way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the
thousands of little things by which relationships
eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to
see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual
fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves
sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual
attraction in order to see what is on the other side.

This can work, but it can also leave a trail of
wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether
in an attempt to get to know each other apart from
their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because
the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so
large that it keeps them from having any normal
perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to
become long-time friends before they realize they are
attracted to each other. They get to know each other's
laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each
other at their worst and at their best. They share
time together before they get swept up into the
entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall
under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately,
you need to look beyond it for other keys to
compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter
tells you how much you will enjoy each others company
over the long term.

If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not
at the expense of others, then you have a healthy
relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of
surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can
always surprise each other. And if you can always
surprise each other, you can always keep the world
around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no
laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based
only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over
time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world
tends to turn you against those who do not share the
same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based
on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the
world in a way you respect. When two people first get
together, they tend to see their relationship as
existing only in the space between the two of them.
They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the
overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing
obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages
and grows, the outside world becomes important again.
If your partner treats people or circumstances in a
way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to
grief. Look at the way she cares for others
and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that
makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it
does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way
you each deal with the world around you, eventually
the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries
of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and
practicality, and the real life of the heart resides
in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by
the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships,
while the other is drawn only to the literal and the
practical, you must take care that the distance does
not become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each
feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by
yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts
that we will not betray and private commitments to a
vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in
love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable
parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her,
you will find yourselves growing further apart until
you live in separate worlds where you share the
business of life, but never touch each other where the
heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small
leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and
daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and
unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have
chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the
real miracle of marriage can take place in your
hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a
miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word.
There is a miracle in marriage. It is called
transformation. Transformation is one of the most
common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower.
The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes
spring and love becomes a child. We never question
these, because we se! e them around us every day. To
us they are not miracles, though if we did not know
them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our
love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to
flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom,
but we can be sure that a bloom will come.

If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom
will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the
wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.
We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative
transformation in a marriage. It was negative
transformation that always had me terrified
of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was
younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark
miracle that transformed love into harshness and
bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility
that the first heat of love could be transformed into
something positive that was actually deeper and more
meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could
believe in was the power of this passion and the fear
that when it cooled I would be left with something
lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like
negative transformation, it results from a slow
accretion of little things. But instead of death by a
thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of
love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings,
two separate presence, two separate consciousness come
together and share a view of life that passes before
them. They remain separate, but they also become one.
There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure! and
a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to
say that there is not tension and there are not traps.
Tension and traps are part of every choice of life,
from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers.
Each choice contains within it t! he lingering doubt
that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and
exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that
it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and
be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen,
against all odds, to become one.
Those who live together without marriage can know the
pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific
gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that
experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush
into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith
and it contains within it the power of transformation.
If you believe in your heart that you have found
someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have
sufficient faith that you can resist the endless
attraction of the road not taken and the partner not
chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace
the cycles and seasons that your love will experience,
then you may be ready to seek the miracle that
marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of
a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the
time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.

Answer 2

The five questions that I ask myself when I am thinking about staying with my man are these:
1.Is it worth it?Which is if we are having some sort of probelms.If he is having an affair then I know that it isn't worth and I leave.
2.Does he love me and wants this relationship as much as I do?
3.Where is this relationship going?
4.Do we have a future together?
5.Would he be a good husband and treat me right in all ways?
Now if you are thinking about leaving your man ask yourself if he is worth your worry and if he is then I think that you should try working things out before leaving another broken relationship. If not then don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Answer 3

Here are ten questions you can ask yourself:

• Do you feel insecure in your relationship?

• Have you ever left someone or been abandoned by someone in a relationship?

• Do you feel you have to be careful in your relationship?

• Do you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around the person you love?

• Is possessiveness or control an issue in your relationship?

• Have you ever felt smothered in a relationship and didn't feel you had any room to be yourself?

• Have you ever been "needy" in a relationship and because of your neediness, the person you cared about either cheated on you or left you for another?

• Is jealous an issue in your relationships?

• Are you fearful of entering a relationship but still want one regardless of your past experiences?

• Are you afraid you will end up alone with no one to love you or no one for you to love?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, then he's not the man for you.

These fears are not uncommon and they may be "red flag alerts" warning your of a bad relationship with this particular person.

A loving relationship that lasts is not an accidental happening. If you think he has many of those characteristics, and yet you think you can change him, it will never happen. The only person you're responsible for is yourself. Take care of you, because no one else will.

Answer 4

The fact that you're undecided reveals contradictions in your value system.

1. What do you value most in your life?
2. Are you married with this guy?
3. Do you love him?
4. Do you have his children?
5. Are you Happy?

Nowadays - people should not be seeking for the right answers, we have to ask the right questions. Perhaps a single life is best for you for all you know. OR probably this is just your baptism of fire. Every woman deserves to be loved. Every woman deserves to be cared for, every woman deserves to be treated right. If you are not getting any of these attention - it's time to be kind to yourself. I pray for your happiness and a blissful life ahead.

Answer 5

Girl, I've been through the same thing and here's my top five questions I asked myself in the pre breaking-up process:

1. Am I happy with him?
2. Do I see him taking care of me when I get old?
3. Did any of "talks" we had even go under his skull?
4. Are we in the same place?
5. What do I really want?

If you can answer those question without thinking too hard anymore, then you'll have your answer.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, first of all, go with your instincts. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I love him?
2. Does he love me?
3. Is he worth it?
4. Do we have a future?
5. Is he willing to compromise?

If you answer "NO" to any of these questions, then I suggest you move on.

Answer 7

1. Do I want this person to be the father/mother of my child.
2. Does he treat me in such a way that I would like my child to use him as a role model in his marital relationship?
3. Is he/she willing to compromise on issues that we may disagree upon.
4. Does he/she try to win every battle, or does he/she chooses the important battles.
5. Do we both have realistic expectations on what we want out of the relationship.
6. Is he/she looking for someone to make him/her happy, or is he/she looking for someone to share his/her happiness with?
7. People change as they accumulate life experience. Not everyone grows emotionally at the same rate. Are you looking for someone you know like the back of your hand and risk being disappointed when they do not live up to your expectations, or do you love this person enough that you are willing to spend the rest of your life getting to know them?

Answer 8

1/ Would I be happy if i stayed with him?
2/ Can i trust him?
3/ Is the sex any good? (no joke, i really do)
4/ Is it hurting anyone?
5/ Depends on the specific person

Answer 9

1is he faithful? meaning doesn't cheat.
2doesn't hit or call you names. meaning respect, never hit you and we don't deserve it.
3treat you like a princess, meaning most of the time does he cook for you, give flowers without any occassion, make tea or coffee, clean the house for you, stay with you when you are sick etc..
4is he thinking about your future, like working hard to have a family or getting married, taking some sacrifices
5do you love each other? does he makes you laugh? don't sweat the small stuff and compromise. goodluck!

Answer 10

1. Do i love him?
2. Do he loves me? as much as i love him?
3. Is he responsible enough for everything happen in our life?
4. Does he will be good husband soon if we get married?
5. Does he will do everything in his power to make us happy?