46 years old. Single. Grown kids, locally. Living parents, 8 hours away. Excellent job that requires 80% travel. Parents need help and support. Kids need help and support. I feel alive in my work, am very happy, but could take a position either near my kids or near my parents and stop traveling. The travel pays mass extra, and the career opportunities are more abundant in this sector... But... We're the only family there is. I'm not sure how to prioritize, between myself, my kids and my parents. Any insights to offer?
2006-10-24 19:26:26 · 5 answers · asked by pair-a-docs 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Im a firm believer in doing whatever will make you the happiest. If being closer to your parents or children feels more like an obligation than something you would like to do...dont do it. See them more often, but if you really enjoy your job (and considering you get to travel and meet tons of fascinating people I couldnt imagine you not loving it) dont stop things in your life that make you happy, simply to accomodate the happiness of others.
2006-10-24 20:32:09 · answer #1 · answered by jenmimo7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one.. You have a lot going on at the moment in your life. All good things, though.
You love your job - that's great but the travel is long. That, in itself
can be very taxing on the body, mind, not to mention your car, etc.
It's great your kids live locally, but you say they are grown now.
Chances are they are very independant and can manage on their own just fine.
Your parents, on the other hand, are 8 hours away, and from what you have told us, they may need your assistance from time to time.
This can be draining as well, but they are your parents and probably could do with your support more than ever.
I don't know where you are but there is always outside care that can help these days with elderly folk, from house cleaning, shopping and even cooking. I don't know how your folks are managing, but if they are doing ok and can look after themselves
then they are probably happy to do so.
On the other hand, you probably do get a little worried about them from time to time and would like to be closer.
Bottom line in my opinion - your kids are fine and don't really need you to be there for them. Sure, still visit them and help them as best you can - by phone, email, etc, but you may be better off moving closer to your folks.
Are you able to get a transfer in your job?
Your job/career sound terrific and you may need this job to help out financially, especially if you are single.
The job is a blessing - try and work something out with this.
Maybe you could move closer to your folks and closer to your job if that is possible.
I guess it's really hard to make your mind up for you, but I always feel parents do way TOO much for their kids these days, even when their kids are fully grown.
You have been a parent and done your job well. Now it is your time to enjoy yourself. Your folks may need you as well and if you can somehow prioritize between your life and theirs that would be great.
I think it's about balance and trying to work out where to spend your time depending on your values, needs, desires and wants.
I hope I have helped but you are the only one that can decide
what is best for YOU at the end of the day.
Good luck!
2006-10-25 02:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family always comes first. I would look for another job closer to my family. I think you already know the answer to this, so like my baby says, follow your heart.
2006-10-25 02:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by miguel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents. u said your kids re grown now, and if u re 46 parents re pretty old. so give them all support u re able to and they require during their last yers. they deserve it. children re young and full of energy, they should be able to take care of themselves
2006-10-25 02:32:35 · answer #4 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents.
Kids.
Career.
That's how I would prioritze if I were you.
2006-10-25 02:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by floozy_niki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋